Family
Relationships
Faith
Trust
Communication
Self-Improvement
Kindness
Literature
Education
Finances
Borrowing
Credit
Insurance
Business Greed
Politics
Family:
If You Like
to Read Articles About How Dead People Can Control Your Life, Then This Is
Pretty Creepy - Don't Ya Just Love Relatives?
Remember
When . . . Try and Figure Out How Old This Grandpa Is
What I Now
Think About All of the Little Things That Annoy Me
Who's Your
Daddy? Son, I Asked You a Question: Who's Your Daddy?
Deepak
Chorpa: The Mystery of Seeing - How You See Things Can Be What They Become
Paying the
Proper Respect - All Is Not Lost in the United States of America - There Is
Still Some Sense of Decency and Decorum Left
Just when you are exasperated after reading about the lying, cheating,
stealing, whoring and crass infidelity of so many of our horny politicians
running around in Congress, along comes a ray of hope that some sense of decency
and decorum still exist in the United States of America. This story by an
anonymous airline captain is an example.
Communicating With Your Pet - Cats Use Their Eyes, Paws, Tail and Body Posture
to Send Us Signals About How They Are Feeling
This guest article by Kymberlie Adams appeared in the WebMD Health
Exchange.
A Newborn Has
a Conversation with God
A newborn baby arguably captures our heart and attention more than anything
else on the face of the Earth, and for good reason. A newborn reminds us of the
miracle of life, and all of the hopes, dreams, struggles and victories we
experience in life. A newborn is also the reason why we must not allow the clock
and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment is a gift from God,
and both a miracle and a mystery.
Paprika Catering: Kristi Dohring Conveys Lessons
Learned From Her Mother and Grandmother into Culinary Creativity - Hungarian
Cooking
This guest article by Jeffrey P. Mayor was recently published in The News
Tribune, based in Tacoma, WA.
A Reflection on Who You Are, And How Easy It Is to Be
Influenced by Others
Pamela Slim is an author and coach. You can find her at Escape From Cubicle
Nation
<
http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/>
A Young Child Is an Impressionable
Child Who Can Find Herself Quickly Lost in the World
It Was Daddy's Day at School, and She
Was the Only One Without a Father
Sometimes in life we are quick to judge what appears obvious, and sometimes
we are dead wrong in our assumptions. This poem reminds us of why.
Liberal Progressives Would Love a European Social
Democracy in America - Little Do They Know Where They Are Headed (That's Why
They Are Liberal Progressives)
Family is important to our survival as a nation. Those who ignore history are
condemned to repeat it, hopefully, not on my watch. I actually read history, and
if you do not, try reading this article for starters. Kitty Werthmann, the
author of this article, lives in South Dakota and appears to be very active in
attempting to maintain our freedom. Google Kitty Werthmann and you will see more
articles and videos.
An 11-Year-Old Girl Successfully Defends Herself and
Saves Her Life When Two Illegal Aliens Break Into Her Home
Here is an event that demonstrates clearly why we as citizens need to protect
ourselves from criminals and/or government leaders who are clearly out of
control.
The Irish Apparently Have a Thing About Death - They
Won't Let the History Be Buried with the Body
I once went to a Polish funeral. You could not have seen a sadder bunch at
the funeral service, with tears flowing and great discomfort. Once it was over,
and the reception arrived, the liquor flowed, and festive music and dancing
began immediately; it was one of the most raucous parties I have ever
attended—with smiles and laughs from ear to ear. Afterward, I reflected that it
must surely have been a celebration of a life. This article by Suzanne Strempek
Shea takes a look at Irish culture and traditions about death.
What Fills Up a Clean Mayonnaise Jar Best: Golf Balls,
Pebbles, Sand or Just Two Cups of Coffee?
Every now and then you come across a good story with a great message. Here is
one that all of us could benefit from reading.
If You Have a Spit of Irish in You, This Is What It
Means to Be in an Irish Family
When I think of things Irish I think of "the running of the green" and my
good friend Mary O'Donovan. Find out why.
American Recession Has Pushed the Social Security
System Into the Red Sooner Than Expected
What should have the rapt attention of 43.5 million retirees in America and
another 10.2 million disabled Americans? It is called social security benefits,
and the system is in trouble. Find out why in this article by the AARP's Carole
Fleck.
Bill Cosby Becomes Unpopular for Taking the
Underbelly of the African American Community to Task
Dr. William Henry "Bill" Cosby, Jr., has a doctor's degree in education and
does not talk like he came from the "hood". Here is what he said to a gathering
of black students who asked about the bailout in America. His message is not
about color, it is about behavior, setting higher personal standards, and taking
responsibility for your actions rather than whining about what is not happening
in your life.
Surviving Thanksgiving - A Guest
Article for Women, Unless You Are a Stay-at-Home Dad Cooking Dinner
Ann Pietrangelo embraces the concept of personal
responsibility for health and wellness. As a multiple sclerosis patient, she
combines a healthy lifestyle and education with modern medicine, and seeks to
provide information and support to others. Here Ann shares her thoughts of
preparing a Thanksgiving feast for family friends.
The Power of Purr-ayer
Janet Garey is a professional journalist and environmental
educator devoted to a variety of community-based projects, which she either
developed or supports in service of Planet Earth and all creatures great and
small. Janet, her daughter Amanda, and her granddaughter Alexandra rescue and
find homes for hundreds of stray or abandoned cats simply for the joy and love
they give and get from their feline family.
When Enough Is Enough
All of us at some point in life are unsatisfied with something
about our life. Here is a prescription to help overcome that feeling.
Whatever Would Make You Think That Animals Do Not
Have Emotions, or Feelings?
Marc Bekoff is Professor Emeritus of Ecology and Evolutionary
Biology at the University of Colorado in Boulder, and is a Fellow of the Animal
Behavior Society and a former Guggenheim Fellow. He has published more than 200
papers and 22 books, including a summary of Marc's research on animal emotions
titled The Emotional Lives of Animals: A Leading Scientist Explores Animal
Joy, Sorrow, and Empathy and Why They Matter published in 2007 by New World
Library.
The Heart of the Collector Was Not
For Sale
The desire to possess something always brings with it a price.
Sometimes the price is too high. I have edited this story and re-written parts
of it to make it better.
The Love of a Mother
This article touched me. I hope it touches you the same way.
Do You Know the Rite of Passage for a Young
Cherokee Indian Boy?
You can learn a lot from Native American Indians. Their care
and protection of the environment was centuries ahead of other people and
cultures that inhabit the United States. Here is another lesson to be learned
from the Cherokee Indian Nation.
How to Get Happy and Stay Happy
This story reminds us of why the time to make good memories is
now, when we have the time and our families are young and together.
Facing Down Your
Worst Threat – How to Handle the Schoolyard Bully
It's a funny thing about the lessons you learn in life. Not
all of them are learned on the way to school. Some are learned on the way home
from school. Here is a lesson I learned about how to handle schoolyard bullies.
Sometimes Our Heroes Are Found Among the Most Humble
People - Here Are Two Examples
Sometimes American heroes are people you would
least expect. Here is an example of two such heroes that you would never have
guessed were genuine American heroes in our lifetime.
Remember
When - To All Who Were Blessed Enough to Be Born Between 1930 and 1944
Some of us were lucky to be born between 1930 and 1949. This article from the
Internet, with some editing and additions, tells you why.
What God Said: "I Recognized Abbey Right Away . .
. "
There are few things in life that bring us such instant
emotion as our children. Our hearts start and stop by their safety, joys,
sorrows and hardships. Their every emotion can be ours. Perhaps this makes it
easier to understand how children feel the same way about their pets. This is a
story about Abbey and Meredith and Meredith's mother.
Should We Be
Concerned About the Apparent Violence of Our Children?
Two
incidents in the United States in recent days have caused me to wonder if we
should be more concerned about the apparent violence among our children. Both
sets of young women in both incidents had a choice to make. The difference
between the two choices is clear: you can choose to be self-centered or
other-centered. What caused some young women to make a great choice and others
to make a poor choice? Find out why.
Become a Parent and Witness a Miracle
Become a
parent and witness a real miracle. After 17½ hours of contractions, I watched my
wife as the baby's head pushed into the new world. The doctor noted that the
cord had a knot and then, with one final push, Kristin Ann came into the world.
Kristin looked blue and—had it not been for her crying—you might have thought
she was not alive. Her eyes, if not her voice, said otherwise. I felt like I
could have reached out and touched the Hand of God.
Human or
Nonhuman? "The Most Significant Photograph I Have Ever Seen During My Lifetime"
Every now
and then I get an email from one of my clients or blog readers which really gets
my attention. This is one of those times. The subject of this email circulating
the Internet is titled "Picture of the Decade". This photo is the most
significant photograph I have ever seen during my lifetime. I have no reason to
think that the story and picture are not authentic. I am going to share the
email with you.
Who Has
Had the Greatest Influence on Your Life, and Why?
I lot of us remember our mother, and for
good reason. Should someone pose the same question to me that I have asked of
you, I would never hesitate to talk about the most important person in my life,
my mother. She was the biggest backer that I ever had. She was not a movie star,
she was not famous, and she was not rich. She simply had the most important job
in the world, she was a mother. There will be no greater calling, and there will
be no greater reward.
A Father's Day Poem: Remembering My Father
The following poem was sent to me by
Susan Chambers, one of my Ed Bagley Blog readers. The author of this poem
is apparently unknown, but I believe the message of the author is timeless.
If You Think as a Parent that Little League Baseball Does Not Teach Important
Survival Skills, Think Again
Sometimes as parents we forget how
simple and subtle the lessons in life can be. With all of the violence we are
now seeing with youngsters who solve their supposed "problems" by shooting their
perceived "enemies" (many times friends and family), I am reminded that some of
our children today seem less able to cope with adversity, and even less so with
patience. How is it that they clearly lack coping skills and patience, two
necessary traits for survival as an adult?
The Real
Heroes of Our Time Are Those Who Serve Others
Words on a card are so inadequate to
express how we feel when describing a tragedy. I find it difficult to accept the
notion that death is part of life. One seems so alive and real, and the other so
quiet and distant. I would be totally lost in accepting what is so natural and
normal were it not for the fact that my life journey is also my faith journey.
Thank goodness that God is in my life. He stands with us at our greatest hour of
need.
Kids Do Say the Darnedest Things, and Here Is My
Favorite Fish Story
Kids say and do the darnedest
things. They also learn lessons we would never think about. Here are some
examples from The Forbes Book of Business Quotations, and here is my favorite
fish story from a Rotary Club newsletter.
Director Bob Clark of "A Christmas Story" and His Son
Die in a Senseless Accident
I was so sorry to go online today
(4-4-07) and learn of the death of Bob Clark and his son in a senseless auto
accident in Los Angeles. Clark, 67, and his son Ariel Hanrath-Clark, 22, were
driving in Pacific Palisades when their Infiniti collided head-on with a vehicle
that a drunken driver steered into the wrong lane, according to police and the
filmmaker's assistant. Following is my original movie review of A Christmas
Story. I publish it as a tribute to Bob Clark, his family, and those who knew
him and loved his work.
Fathering a Child and Leaving Does Not Make You a Man,
Raising the Child Does
When a young man is horny and looking
for satisfaction, his first thought is not about getting a girl pregnant and
raising the child, in or out of wedlock. When a young girl is needy for
attention and approval, her first thought is not about getting pregnant and
raising her child without the father of the child. When the needy young man
meets the needy young woman a lot can happen that will forever affect the life
of both parents and the child they carelessly created as emotions overruled
their thought process and good sense.
69 MPH Windstorm (and Rain) Wallops Western
Washington
Life a thief in the night, everything
went dark and unseen at 11:47 p.m. Thursday (12-14-06). I was in the middle of
writing an article when it happened. A house that was well lit and humming
within minutes took on the feeling of a damp, pitch black cave as winds up to 69
mph hit Western Washington, leaving one million of us without power. That would
have been the same one million people who were looking for an open restaurant
Friday morning for breakfast. You can imagine the traffic jam and the aftermath
when most restaurants and fast food operations were without power.
Seek advice from those who are competent
through their own experience and success to give you advice.
I am
an Expert Author, a Platinum Member and a Premium Member with 550 Articles on EzineArticles, the Largest Articles Directory on the Internet.
Relationships:
In What
Circumstances Do People Have Sufficient Food and Yet Starve to Death?
As You Roll Out of Bed With Your Lover, Here Are the
15 Signs That You Are Likely to Be Unfaithful to Your Spouse – Yes, You Are
Caught With Your Pants/Panties Down
Here Are the Very Best Quotes on That
Honorable Institution Called Marriage
How Relationship Building During Turbulent Times Can
Pay Huge Dividends in Your Future Work Career - Sage Advice from "The Networking
Guru"
Don't Worry About Being a Peanut in a Can of Mixed Nuts
Where Cashews Are King
Could We Be More Obsessed With Tiger Woods Than Tiger
Is With Himself? Just Asking.
The best advice I can give any woman about men is—listen very carefully to
what a man has to say, and then watch very carefully what he does, because what
he does is who he is. After he has had his way with you, he will find something
else to do, it just will not be with you. Actions always speak louder than
words, especially in romance, sex, marriage and life.
My Life as a Jerk - A Message from Radio Ink
Publisher Eric Rhoads
Eric Rhoads is a radio entrepreneur who publishes RADIO INK and a
daily newsletter for members of the radio industry.
7
Clever and Cheap Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day
Telltale Signs That He Really Loves
You – Insight Into Your Man's Heart
Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Famous
Speech "I Have a Dream" Still Stirs Hearts and Minds
Few ministers of God's message have had a more profound affect on the course
of American history and culture than The Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. His most
famous "I Have a Dream" speech still stirs in the hearts and minds of
millions of Americans today. Rev. King spoke these famous words on August 28,
1963 at the March on Washington, DC. Martin Luther King Jr. Day was celebrated
yesterday.
Mental Feng Shui
From the Mouths of Babes - Some 4 to
8-Year-Old Children Describe What Love Means
From the mouths of babes comes clarity and truth. Sometimes we
think our children do not listen to or see the lessons we speak and model. We
would be dead wrong, as these thoughts reveal.
How the Mighty Fall - Why Men Cheat:
From Tiger Woods to President Bill Clinton
The following article appeared in The Daily Beast. Abby Ellin
regularly writes the "Vows" column for the New York Times, and previously
wrote the "Preludes" column for that newspaper about young people and money. She
is the author of Teenage Waistland, but her greatest claim to fame is
naming "Karamel Sutra" ice cream for Ben and Jerry's.
The Day the Nation Stood Still - John F. Kennedy
Was Assassinated 46 Years Ago, and Still His Legacy Lives in the Hearts of Many
(Ed's Note: Yesterday marked the 46th anniversary of the
assassination of President John F. Kennedy on November 22, 1963. Janet Garey
shares her poignant memory of that day and time. Garey is a professional
journalist, an environmental educator and a community-based local activist.
Among other projects, Garey and her daughter Amanda and granddaughter Alexandra
rescue and find homes for hundreds of stray or abandoned cats simply for the joy
and love they give and get from their feline family.)
A Smart Man's View: Here Is What Andy Rooney Has to
Say About Women Over 50
Here is what CBS correspondent Andy Rooney said on his "60
Minutes" segment about women over 50.
Erma Bombeck on "If I Had My Life to
Live Over Again"
The following was written by the famous humorist and
syndicated columnist Erma Bombeck when she found out she was dying from cancer.
"The Purple Iris" Reminds Me About the Value of
Wisdom in My Old Age
My sister Sally emailed me a posting called "The Iris". It reminded me about
one of the benefits of getting older. I repeat "The Iris" here and have added
some comments.
Behold, an Article that Reminds Us of O. Henry's
"The Gift of the Magi"
Stories float around the Internet like raindrops on
water. Some are worth retelling and some are not. This story caught my attention
as it reminded me of O. Henry's "The Gift of the Magi". O. Henry was the pen
name of William Sidney Porter, America's greatest short story writer. I took the
liberty of editing and rewriting parts of this story to increase its impact.
What Women Should Know: A Man's 5 Basic Responsibilities - Part 1
Some men say they cannot live with women
and they cannot live without women. I think they mean they do not understand
women. Women are God's third most important gift, following the gift of life and
the gift of free will. Since women are a necessary and wonderful addition to a
man's world here are 14 things that every woman should know about men. Part 1 of 3 Parts.
What Women Should Know: A Man's 5 Basic Tendencies - Part 2
Some men say they cannot live with women
and they cannot live without women. I think they mean they do not understand
women. Women are God's third most important gift, following the gift of life and
the gift of free will. Since women are a necessary and wonderful addition to a
man's world here are 14 things that every woman should know about men. Part 2 of 3 Parts.
What Women Should Know: 4 Realities in a Man's World - Part 3
Some men say they cannot live with women
and they cannot live without women. I think they mean they do not understand
women. Women are God's third most important gift, following the gift of life and
the gift of free will. Since women are a necessary and wonderful addition to a
man's world here are 14 things that every woman should know about men. Part 3 of 3 Parts.
Man's Biggest Love Affair May Be With His Car
The love affair with men and their cars
is legend. A man and his automobile are not easily separated. More than one
exasperated wife has said that her husband is more married to his car than her,
especially when she is going to bed alone while her husband tinkers with his car
in the garage until the wee hours of the morning. While your car is important
and tugs at your heartstrings, the relationships in your life are even more
important. Learn why.
NAACP Decides to Symbolically Bury the "N" Word in a
Major Move Forward
The NAACP has put to rest a long-standing expression
of racism by symbolically burying the "n" word in a ceremony. The NAACP
recognized that the very word that was being buried is also used by blacks when
referring to other blacks, especially in comedy routines, rap and hip-hop music.
I believe the stance by the NAACP could potentially do more for race relations
than any single move by special interest and civil rights groups in recent
years.
Faith:
Florida Judge Denies an Atheist's Petition to Create a
Holy Day for Those Who Deny the Existence of God in Their Life - Wow, What a
Turnaround
A News Flash for Comedy Central: Mocking Jesus Christ
May Be Funnier Than Hell, But Might Be Eternal As Well
There Are Times to Challenge Progressive Liberal Politicians and Governments
That Want to Take God Out of Our Lives, and This Is One of Them
The United States Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom, cannot seem to
reconcile the fact that separation of church and state does not preclude having
God in our lives. Attempting to suppress someone's religion can prove to be a
daunting exercise, as this graduation ceremony demonstrates.
Making a Wrong Right - It's Not About the Media:
Blaming the Messenger in the Catholic Priest Sex Abuse Crisis
The Catholic Church has taken a beating since the media exposure of its
long-standing policies when handling pedophile priests. There is no excuse for
the priests involved; they should have been prosecuted like anyone else in our
society, but were instead protected by the church in the mistaken notion that
the self-serving church might be embarrassed or lose faithful members. Now a can
of worms has been opened after years of silence, and the leadership of the
Catholic Church, which chose to do the wrong thing, must make it right, and once
again walk the straight and narrow, just as its parishoners are asked to do. And
please, do not think the Catholic pedophile priests are the only ones involved.
Clergy from many other religious orders are involved as well as some Boy Scout
leaders, counselors from summer day camps, and far too many schoolteachers among
others.
Here Is Why You Should Go to Church,
and Continue Going to Church
I have often said that going to church may not help you, but it likely will
not hurt you. That may spur someone to test the water's of organized religion.
Here is another, and better, reason to consider some spiritual development.
Prayer of Gratitude to My Savior and Promise Keeper
- May You Have Hope in Your Life
It is altogether fitting that my first original writing of the
new year should be a prayer to Jesus Christ, my Savior and promise keeper. I
wrote the following prayer in honor of Jesus Christ, and wish to share it with
you at this time.
You Have a Friend Who Says "I Love
You and Believe in You"
All of us can be discouraged or disheartened when life gets us
down. Here is someone who can always pick you up. Whatever your religious
beliefs are, there is some common sense here. All of what is said by God here is
uplifting and positive, therefore, would you rather have no one and nothing to
turn to in times of strife, or someone of substance to turn to in times of
strife? God gives you a free will to make your choice. That is because He is a
compassionate God who loves you and does not want to boss you around. God made
you in his image, and he believes in your goodness.
Making the Holy Bible's 23rd Psalm
Even More Easy for Readers to Appreciate
Christians around the world who are serious and knowledgeable
about their faith have probably heard about and read the 23rd Psalm from the
Holy Bible. Here is one person's attempt at making the 23rd Psalm even easier to
appreciate.
Billy Graham's Prayer for America, the Most Bountiful
Country on Earth
There is a reason why Billy Graham stands alone among the
great television evangelists of our era. That reason is because Billy Graham is
the only nationally-recognized televangelist who not only talked the talk, but
walked the walk. This simple and powerful prayer for America will only touch
those who listen with their heart when they hear.
How Many of You Can Say That You Are Secure in Your
Final Destiny?
I was raised by my grandparents the first 5 years of my life,
and everything good I ever learned was learned from my grandparents. When I
wrote my first book, I dedicated it to my grandfather, Edward Louis Baker, whom
I was named after. This is what I had to say about my grandfather: (He was) a
self-taught man of integrity, decency and honesty who lived his life as a happy
man, secure in his final destiny. If I were half as good as my grandfather, I
would be twice the man that I am. The following story reminds me of my
grandfather. It is with love that I share it with you here.
Imam Put On the Spot - A Mandatory Diversification
Training Seminar Reveals the Muslim Beliefs
Ed's Note: Apparently this article is a true story and the
author—Rick Mathes—is a well-known leader in prison ministry. I post it here
because millions of American's have difficulty understanding the connection
between the Muslim religion and the killing of those who do not share the
beliefs of practicing Muslims.
A Prayer
for Fathers
I am a Christian man who wrote this Christian prayer
for Christian fathers everywhere.
The Sun and the Moon and the Stars, But What If
There Were No Visible Stars?
I recently came across this quote from
Ralph Waldo Emerson in my reading: "If the stars should appear one night in a
thousand years, how would men believe and adore." His statement stunned me.
Seriously, imagine for a moment that we have never seen stars and then suddenly
they appear like magic. Would we be fearful? Thankful? Or perhaps just terribly
confused about how this could suddenly happen given our technological advances
and egos to match. What does it all mean?
Facts About the Second Most Controversial Topic in
America - The First Is Abortion
Many who read the title to this article might think
that the second most controversial topic in America today is whether the United
States should continue its war in Iraq. Those who thought that would be, in
fact, dead wrong. This article is really about facts, not about our involvement
in trying to make Iraq and its people adopt a democratic society, but to revisit
the place God occupies in our public institutions and in our society.
God's Greatest Gift and the "Smell of Rain"
It seems fitting that Thanksgiving weekend is a time
to reflect on God's greatest gift to us, the gift of life. This article retells
the story of a 24-week-old baby born prematurely who passes on a sense of
presence that is unforgettable. Never doubt that there are great moments in our
life which define us forever.
Saint Theresa's Prayer Urges You to Find Your
Peace
Blessed Teresa (Mother Teresa of
Calcutta) is not yet recognized as a Saint by the Roman Catholic Church. She is
in the process of beatification, the second step towards possible canonization.
While not yet a Saint, Blessed Teresa's prayer loses none of its powerful
message.
"Is There a Santa Claus?" Yes, Virginia,
There Is a Santa Claus
The following editorial by Francis
P. Church was first published in The New York Sun in 1897 in response to an
8-year-old girl's letter to the editor asking if there is a Santa Claus, and is
arguably the most famous editorial ever written in an American newspaper.
Forget Your New Year's Resolutions, Gain Peace
Reading Mother Teresa - Get Real Results: Serve Others
Forget all of your New Year's
resolutions you are tempted to make and not keep. If you want inspiration and
real peace of mind as 2008 starts, read the thoughts and prayers of Blessed
Teresa (Mother Teresa of Calcutta).
Where Rational Thought Leads - What Can Happen
When a Cocksure Professor Makes His Case in Class
Honest people recognize that at one time or another
we have all tried to make a point at the expense and embarrassment of another.
The following story is making the rounds on the Internet. I have decided to
repeat it here and share a few thoughts after the presentation.
You Can Learn a Lot from a Mule Trapped In a Well
that Is Slowly Being Buried Alive
This story appears in Mac Anderson's book The Nature
of Success. This is a great book worth your time to read.
Shop Paula's
Choice Now
Trust:
Here Is the Meaning of a Flag-Draped Coffin - Why Is the Flag Folded That Way?
Do-It-Yourself Christianity: A Disturbing Trend in
Our Society: The Lack of Trust in Our Institutions
The lack of trust for institutions in
our society may be reaching epidemic levels. A recent survey shows trust in
banks and financial institutions has dropped from 35% to 28% in 40 years, major
companies from 26% to 17%, the nation's press from 24% to 9%, educational
institutions from 36% to 27%, and organized religion from 35% to 24%. Learn why
this is happening.
Communication:
Tech Guru Richard Frisch on The Rise of the Personal
Appliance Era
The Most Memorable Quotes on Technology
Here Are the New Rules of Mass Media Social Networking
According to Jerry Del Colliano - Are These Sites Becoming Annoying?
Another View on the Advent of Mass Media
Social Networking and Its Revenue Stream
Unplug the Teens Today and Their Whole
World Almost Falls Apart Instantly - Tech Toy Withdrawal Leaves Them With
Anxiety
Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda Can Really Matter Later in
Life
A Whopping 52% of Bloggers Consider Themselves
Journalists - Are You Kidding Me, Mate?
As someone who has spent 20 years in the newspaper business as an
investigative reporter, sports editor and managing editor for a daily newspaper,
and an 87% majority owner of a print media publishing company, I found this
article interesting.
Young People May Not Be Able to Relate to This
Message, But Trust Me When I Say, I Can
We live
in an over-communicated world, as this grandpa found out.
Point: The Printed Word Is Fading From View, So
Get Over It!
Richard Frisch is a computer expert at rhftech.com who has some thoughts
about the written word and its future in our society. I am interested because I
am a writer, and have enjoyed and used the written word for more than 50 years
to make a living.
Counterpoint: Is the Fate of the
Written Word Tied to Popularity?
The advent of technology in the last decade has led to a handheld device that
allows the user to make telephone calls, access the Internet, watch television,
download data and music, and probably even more features I am unaware of since I
do not use said device. It is not that I could not use the handheld device; it
is that I choose not to use it. It is not necessary for me to use the device to
experience the kind of life I want to live.
Brother Jack Slows Down Enough to
Learn a Valuable Lesson During the Christmas Rush
The following personal letter was written by Brother Jack to
his family, and chronicles something most of us have trouble controlling—our
time and what we are doing with it as we pass through life.)
Breaking Barriers - How Advances in Technology
Affect the Way We Communicate in Today's World
This guest article by Brian Steinberg appeared in
Advertising Age magazine, which provides analysis and data on marketing and
media, and explores the changes that may affect television as it converges with
the Internet and web-connected devices in today's world. It makes me think about
moving along a steam much quicker but perhaps not deeper as our method of
communication expands. For anyone in sales, marketing or Internet marketing, the
demographics provide valuable information; when I move this article inside my
web site it will appear in both my Lessons in Life Section and in my Internet
Marketing Section. I have highlighted some of the demographic information to
draw more attention to the figures.
You Know You Are Living in 2009 When . . .
This was floating around the Internet. I cleaned it up and
added the last 3 examples to give this bit of humor some actual substance.
This Is What Happens When You Decide to Mess with Old
People - A Wake Up Call for Police
Ed's Note: This incident gets better every time I read it.
Getting our government off dead center in time of need is not easy to do. Some
old people have figured out how to help the program along.
Is "Black
Liberation Theology" Really Helping African Americans?
Rev. Jeremiah Wright of Trinity United Church of
Christ has sought, in his own beliefs and methods, to minister to the needs of
his congregation, exhibiting a perfectly normal and natural sense about what a
minister should be doing. His unexpected exposure on national television has
caused umbrage with some viewers, who found his remarks to be unpatriotic,
inflammatory and offensive. Are there other lessons to be learned in addition to
"black liberation theology"?
All God's Creatures Have Work To Do
We can learn a lot from stories. Jesus used parables
(simple stories) to help the least educated of his followers understand his
message. This clever tale from Southeast Asia teaches us the difference between
first-rate work and second-rate effort. Anyone disappointed in not being
promoted at your place of work would do well to read and heed the message of
this story.
We Live in an Over Communicated World, and Now We Can
Hide Behind Our Emails
The advent of the computer and email has
been a godsend to communication, but whether it is deeper or more meaningful is
another question. Some people are choosing to hide behind emails rather than
communicate more effectively in person or at least over the phone. If I were to
coin a word to describe them, it would be "email phantoms" as you do not hear
them or see them. They communicate only in an electronic world. Others no longer
answer their phone when they are able to do so.
Self-Improvement:
Don't Fall
for These 6 Happiness Myths - Learn How to Overcome Them - Here's How
Here Are 4
Things You Cannot Recover
Gratitude
May Well Be Your Absolute Best Trait in Life
Good, Sound
Advice - Try to Not Judge Others and Change Others, and You Will Be Much More
Happy
This guest article comes from Deepak Chopra, one of the most famous
physicians and authors on planet Earth. Chopra is big on mind-body health,
quantum mechanics, spirituality and peace.
When the
Junk Piles Up - Three Questions Will Help You Decide If You Are a Harmless Pack
Rat or a Compulsive Hoarder
The following guest article by Kathleen Doheny was first posted in the
WebMD website, an outstanding source for medical knowledge, insight and
advice.
Here Is
Some Down Home Advice for Living the Rest of Your Life
Do you know what the cheapest commodity in the world is? Well, it's advice.
Everyone seems to have an opinion; if you don't think so, just ask them. Here is
some advice about how to live your life. Some of the advice is thoughtful, some
sensible and some humorous. Live life and enjoy these suggestions.
How to
Organize and Simplify Your Life for Better Emotional Health - Clear the Clutter
Out of Your Life
This WebMD feature by Jennifer Nelson tells why it is a good idea to
organize and simplify your life for better emotional health.
A Grandson Learns From His
Grandfather Why Hate Is Self-Destructive
The following story teaches an important lesson in life about
attitude. If you show me a person with a bad attitude, I will show you a person
with a bad personality. If you show me a person with a good attitude, I will
show you a person with a good personality. In other words, attitude drives
personality. In this story, you can learn why.
The
Difference Between Professional Growth and Personal Growth Is Learning How to
Learn
The unknown author of this poem shows real insight in how to
get on with living your life. Many people have professional growth—they get
degrees or special training to improve their skills and marketability, but few
achieve personal growth because it forces you to change your thought process and
belief system. Personal growth is very difficult but also very rewarding;
reading this article thoughtfully should demonstrate why. I have changed this
poem from the one I received, and I hope I have improved it in the process.
Understanding the Theory of Multiple Intelligences and Its 9 Types of Smarts
The following guest article by Melissa Breyer is based on Dr.
Howard Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences. I believe every educator and
teacher in America should be aware of Gardner's work, especially since our
entire educational system is based on the ability to read and comprehend written
material. If you cannot read and comprehend written material in our system, it
will be very difficult for you to attain good grades, and maybe even a good
education.
Some
Sense and Sensibility
Some things just make sense. Here is an example of some things
that just make sense.
45 Lessons
in Life
This guest article was apparently written by Regina Brett, a
90-year-old columnist for The Plain Dealer, Ohio's largest daily
newspaper, located in Cleveland.
Failures
Would Be Surprised to Learn That Winners Failed Many More Times - Genius Is 99%
Perspiration
Thomas Edison said it and I believe it: "Many of life's
failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they
gave up." There are more losers than winners in the game of life because losers
many times are people who tried something with all their effort and failed.
Because they failed rather than succeeded, they became reluctant to try again.
Thomas Edison was not one of those people.
Revisiting an
American Icon - What Andy Rooney Has Learned
The following quotes come from Andy Rooney, an elderly
commentator who has been dispensing his words of wisdom on the CBS's "60
Minutes" program since 1978. You can learn a lot from a senior citizen, this is
why I am posting some of Rooney's thoughts here. I have learned that there
really are few icons in America and even fewer unforgettable people—Andy Rooney
is one of them.
The
Unfortunate Death of Mr. Common Sense Is, Unlike the Famous Mark Twain, Not
Greatly Exaggerated
Ed's Note: To my knowledge, this obituary for the late Mr.
Common Sense appeared in no newspaper around the world, but would not have been
read anyway due to a lack of interest. I post it here because I am saddened by
the death of Common Sense; I knew him personally and had a lot of respect for
him and his message.
Readers
Want to Know - So Who Is William J. H. Boetcker?
So who is William J.H. Boetcker, and why do I keep quoting him on my blog?
Find out now.
You Must
Answer Three Questions to Find Your True Purpose in Life
There
have been times in my life when I have sat down and wondered: What is the
meaning of life? Why are we here? Is this what my life is going to be? Would any
reader who HAS NOT experienced at least one of these thoughts, please stand up
and announce yourself. If you stood up, you will lie about other things too. To
find my reason for being, I was forced to answer in writing these three
questions: Who am I? What am I meant to do here? What am I trying to do with my
life?
Self-Improvement - Here Are My Personal Favorite
Quotes That I Live By, Learn By and Grow By
Many
people experience professional growth by earning degrees, attending seminars and
training, and reading professional journals. I have had some professional
growth, but I am more interested in personal growth, the kind of growth that
challenges my thought process and belief system to encourage change for the
better. Here are some of my personal favorite quotes that help me to accommodate
change.
Imagine Being 87 Years Old and Going Back to School
to Earn Your Bachelor's Degree
Imagine being 87 years old and going back to school
to earn your bachelor's degree. Learn why it was important to one woman to do
so, and how her inspiring story changed the lives of hundreds of students young
enough to be her great-grandchildren.
The Incessant Whining of Grumble Town
There is nothing more unattractive than the sound of
whining in the midst of plenty. It is not a good sign of character at any
level—in individuals, families, communities, or nations as a whole. The tale
deals with a whiny town, offering a cure that no one can resist.
Self-Improvement - 3 Ways to Get Ahead Faster: 1)
Focus 2) Focus 3) Focus
I understand getting to the top is not so much about
having the will to win—everyone wants to win—but having the will to prepare to
win. Preparation is everything that will is not. Having the will to win is a
want, but preparing to win is a need. What is opportunity without preparedness?
Nothing but an opportunity wasted. Learn why winners prepare to succeed.
Life Is a Pattern: Gandhi Gives Us This
Insight on Life
Mahatma Gandhi gives some sage advice on how to
live. It is always a good idea to read, ponder and take to heart anything that
Gandhi has shared with us in his walk through life.
Kindness:
Twinkies and Root Beer
This Woman Says Enough of the Whining and
Complaining by Ungrateful, Legal and Illegal Mexican Immigrants Who Can't Get With It
This letter was originally submitted to the Orange County Register
newspaper in California, but the newspaper refused to publish it. Apparently the
Register prefers to publish letters that conveniently coincide with the
political philosophy of its owners, editors, reporters and other butt-ends
attached to the backside of the paper. I post it here because I can; I am not
affiliated with the Orange County Register and am probably better
off because of it.
Is It Time for the United States of America to Take
Down the Bird Feeder That It Thought Was Really Such a Great Idea?
This guest comment is from a reader.
Airman Takes Umbrage When a Career Bureaucrat Lashes
Out Against a 13% Pay Raise for Our Fighting Forces - Your Money or Your Life?
This letter struck a chord with me. I served during the Vietnam War and
remember getting exactly $125 a month for putting my life on the line for my
country. The Vietnam War was not a popular war as thousands of Americans
demonstrated against our involvement in the conflict. In the meantime, our guys
were getting killed and maimed while "well-meaning" Hollywood stars were making
hay with well-orchestrated publicity stunts. I'm not sure any government can pay
its soldiers enough money to get killed in battle, many times with no
long-lasting, positive result for the cause.
The Cindy Williams mentioned in this
airman's letter was the Assistant Director for National Security in the
Congressional Budget Office from 1994 to 1997 and wrote her editorial piece in
2000 in The Washington Post that criticized a proposed 13% pay
increase for military members.
Lessons in Life: A Sound for a Smell
We can learn a lot from stories. The world is full of people
who will try to get something they don't deserve—often, money they have not
earned. Here is wisdom that recognizes the false claims of greed.
What You Do Speaks So Loudly That What You Say I
Cannot Hear - An Example of Modeling
For each of us there are seminal moments in our life, events
that affect us in an extraordinary way that serve us throughout our life. One
occurred recently when passengers on a commercial jetliner watched through their
window seats with rapt attention when a family gathered to accept the body of
their son—a casualty in the Iraqi War—as his fellow U. S. Marine Corps veterans
spread a United States flag over his casket before removing him from the cargo
hold. The passengers had no idea the body of a dead soldier was on the same
aircraft they were flying home. The following story provides another seminal
moment in someone's life, a moment they will not soon forget.
The Meter on the Taxi Was Ticking, But My Heart Was
Racing Faster - An Unforgettable Moment
Every now and then, when you least expect it, a simple taxicab ride can
change your life. Hang on for an extraordinary adventure. If you hear his voice
today, harden not your heart. If you see his presence today, harden not your
heart. If you feel his presence today, harden not your heart.
All You Really
Need to Know About Red Marbles, Green Peas and Kindness
Ed's Note: Among all of the useless junk, pop culture,
political rants, sham offers, and stupidity floating around on the Internet,
there are nuggets more precious than the finest gold. Here is one.
Life
Could Really Be Such a Bummer Were It Not for the Grace of Children
This Internet contribution just might make someone's day, put a smile on your
face, and touch your heart. I did a little editing on this and added some
headlines.
A Story that Proves Children Can Reach Other
Children in a Very Positive Way
Editor's Note: A lot of stories and jokes come in my
email daily. Every now and then a story worth repeating arrives unexpectedly.
Here is one, which reminds me of a famous quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson: You
cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.
Enjoy this uplifting story.
Literature:
A Little Learning Is a Dangerous Thing, Drink Deep,
or Taste Not the Pierian Spring
Alexander Pope, best known for
popularizing the heroic couplet, came to my attention in an English literature
class at Michigan State University in the mid-1960s. I was more interested in
reading Pope at the time than learning about Pope because he clearly knew how to
do what I call "turn a word". That is, to write a string of words that grabs
your attention and delivers a thought so profound that it cannot be ignored.
Pope, a master at this art in writing, has been cited as the second most
frequently quoted writer in the English language.
Isaacson's Biography of Ben Franklin Reminds Us of
What We Did Not Realize
Almost everyone who has graduated from
high school knows that Benjamin Franklin was a famous American. But Walter
Isaacson's biography "Benjamin Franklin: An American Life" chronicles an
incredible journey of one of America's most influential founding fathers and
arguably its greatest diplomat. I did not know that Franklin was America’s best
scientist, inventor, writer, business strategist and diplomat of his time. Was
Benjamin Franklin awesome? Absolutely. Isaacson tells us why.
Book Review: It Is the Incredible Ending
that Makes "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" Worth Reading
The Five People You Meet in Heaven is
the story of Eddie, a simple man living a simple life as a maintenance man who
has a regret and an ache in his heart. He spends his entire life berating
himself because he never left the amusement park to pursue his dream of becoming
an engineer. He dies while trying to save a little girl in an accident, and does
not know if he saved her life or not. He awakens in Heaven and finds out the
real meaning of his life. A complex but rewarding story.
"Desiderata" Is a Brilliant Piece of Writing with
Simplicity and Significance of Message
"Desiderata" is a brilliant piece of writing in its
simplicity and significant message. It was found in Old Saint Paul's Church in
Baltimore (MD) and dated in 1692. The author is unknown. Its message is as
profound today as it was 315+ years ago, and perhaps more so.
Is it Poetry, Prose or Free Verse? "Play What You
Haven't Lived, It Will Help You Live Your Life"
Some writing does more than communicate a message,
it may also communicate a feeling, engage us in thought, or cause us to question
a long-standing belief. What is poetry to one may be prose to anohter and free
verse to a third reader. Test you reaction to Jim Tyler's piece on "Play what
you haven't lived, it will help you live your life".
Education:
Are Good Manners Part of a Good Education?
Absolutely! You Would Have to Be Really Insensitive to Think Otherwise
After reading this article by Peaco Todd, I wondered just how much email
communication, which is voiceless and faceless, contributes to our willingness
to do away with eyeball-to-eyeball contact, and the good manners it generates.
People who used to have 5 close friends now have 1. All of the advances in
technology are not creating good manners, and are also destroying the English
language; you have only to listen to our children and grandchildren speak to
know this. Peaco Todd is an affiliate professor for The Union Institute and
University's online Bachelor of Arts program. She also is a syndicated
cartoonist and author, and writes a football blog for ballhype.com. Find her
work at
www.peacotoons.com)
A 50-Year History on Why
American Students Are So Poor in Learning Math
This is an attempt to show why American students do so poorly
in learning math compared to students from other countries around the world.
Many countries have much higher, more demanding standards of learning that
generate better results We demand less and dumb down the task; it's an American
educator's way of trying to improve test scores.
Economics Professor Fails an Entire Class So His
Students Will Learn About Socialism
An economics professor at Texas
Tech said he had never failed a single student before but had, once,
failed an entire class. Find out how and why socialism caused it to happen.
In an Educational Bureaucracy, It Is Hard to Weed Out
Incompetence
My level of being appalled rose dramatically the
other day, fortunately, my blood pressure remained the same. The cause of this
happening was an editorial in USA Today (7-17-08) titled the "Teacher Protection
Racket". It seems that getting rid of teachers in the public school system is
almost as difficult as quickly solving any perceived problems involving global
warming. Find out why.
Herein You Will Learn the Difference Between a Teacher
and an Educator
There is a huge difference between a teacher and an
educator, as this article will demonstrate. Read and enjoy the real lessons in
life we can learn. As Mark Twain used to say, "I never let schooling interfere
with my education."
At What Point Does a Student's Rights End, and the University's Rights Begin
When Awarding Degrees?
Apparently a woman was denied a teaching
degree on the eve of graduation because she published her picture captioned
"Drunken Priate" on her MySpace. The dean of the School of Education at
Millersville University took exception to the student's photo, accusing her of
promoting underage drinking. The student, who is now 27 and reportedly works as
a nanny, has sued Millersville University, seeking $75,000 in damages. How will
this legal action play out in court if it gets that far?
Shop Paula's
Choice Now
Family:
July 14, 2010
Don't Ya Just Love Relatives?
If You Like to Read Articles About How Dead People Can Control Your Life,
Then This Is Pretty Creepy
(Ed's Note: John Cooney is a
journalist and author of both non-fiction and fiction books.)
By John Cooney (Still Alive, Not Dead)
As Boomers march in their vast legions toward the grave, the lust of the
richest among them for immortality is being exercised through ever greater
control over their stuff after they die.
In the process, they not only often step on the toes of the living but also
trample on the democratic principles of our nation's founding fathers. Their
helpmate is the American legal system.
That's one of the intriguing and disturbing messages of Immortality and the
Law: The Rising Power of the American Dead, a fascinating history of
the evolution of American law by Ray D. Madoff, an expert on trusts and estates
and a professor at Boston College Law School.
Dead Americans have greater control
over property interests than any other dead in the world. Obviously, they say
who can (and who can't) inherit what. But even here American law gives broader
and sometimes nastier power to the dead than it does to the living.
Take the case of deadbeat dead dads who legally disinherit minor and
dependent children. This is increasingly happening where a divorced father
spites his first wife and kids, such as the dead guy who left $1 of his $400,000
estate to an infant daughter from
his first marriage.
They can also control the living's behavior by insisting on codicils, such as
one demanding that someone doesn't get the stuff unless they follow the dead
dictator's edicts. Take marriage.
Although marriage is constitutionally protected, courts consistently uphold
bequests restricting rights to inheritance by either forbidding the beneficiary
from remarrying (dead guys who don't want to share their stuff or their wives
with other guys), or requiring them to marry someone from a particular group.
Then there are cases where someone can't inherit unless they dump their
spouse. "If you get rid of her, I will make you the richest of the family," one
dead uncle cheerfully informed his nephew from the grave.
Freedom of religion is another
constitutional guarantee, but try telling that to some of the dead and the
judges looking over their wills. Courts habitually uphold bequests that are
conditional on the inheritor practicing or refraining from practicing a
particular religion.
In one case, a son was required to marry, within seven years of his dad's
death, "a Jewish girl whose both parents were Jewish." And there's the daughter
who had to marry a "man of true Greek blood and descent and Orthodox religion"
if she ever wanted to see a penny of her old man's moolah.
Then again there's the case where the court allowed a trust that required the
testator's brother to "withdraw from the priesthood in the Roman Catholic
Church" in order to get his chunk of bro's estate.
When we're talking about really big bucks, we're talking trusts. And trusts
aren't what they used to be. Throughout most of the nation's history, courts
were liberal in letting people impose their wishes after death through the use
of trusts that were strictly limited by something called the Rule against
Perpetuities, which dates back to feudal England and prevented people from
hoarding property for generations.
The Americans adopted the rule,
considering it socially better that wealth be controlled by the living. As
Thomas Jefferson wrote to James Madison, "The earth belongs always to the living
generation. They may manage it then, and what proceeds from it, as they please
during their usufruct [lifetime] use."
The most glaring problems of the conflict between democracy and wealth in
America arose during the Robber Baron Era, when a small group of businessmen,
often using unsavory tactics, amassed previously unheard of fortunes.
The United States had long thought of itself as a land of equal opportunity,
superior to Europe and its class-ridden aristocracies. Andrew Carnegie, who
became the wealthiest man in America when he sold his company to J.P. Morgan,
fretted about the consequences of inherited wealth. His solution: the estate
tax.
Teddy Roosevelt proposed the first
permanent estate tax in 1906. An anemic 10 percent tax wasn't imposed until
1916. The rate rose in the 1930s, hitting 77 percent by 1941 and helping
providing the ballast for numerous social programs, including the G.I. Bill.
In the 1980s, the beginning of the "greed is good" era, Ronald Reagan started
lowering the estate tax rate, and more and more state legislatures, which were
lobbied by local banks to bring more business into their states, began
abandoning the Rule against Perpetuities.
This gave rise to perpetual private trusts, marketed as "Dynasty Trusts,"
which gave a freer hand to the dead than ever. (As do Charitable Trusts.) To
quote our author, "these trusts operate largely outside the public view. they
are poised to fundamentally transform the face of the United States by creating
a new aristocracy made up of individuals who have access to large amounts of
untaxed wealth to meet their every need and desire while being immune from
creditors."
As a result, wealth in America is
increasingly concentrated again in fewer hands. The richest 1 percent own 34
percent of the country's wealth. Meanwhile, 80 percent of households own less
than 16 percent of the wealth, with an appalling 40 percent owning less than 1
percent.
And let's not forget dead celebrities as identity property. The "right of
publicity and copyright law have continued vitality even after the person ceases
to be," Madoff notes.
"In recent years, moreover, these rights have grown in strength and duration,
providing posthumous protections never before seen in history." The protections
strengthened are economic, as opposed to reputational interests, so you can say
what you want about Michael Jackson, just don't try to sing or dance like him.
These expanded rights helped create a
new billion-dollar celebrity industry, whereby the dead get paid for just about
anything in any way related to them or the persona they became.
What this means is that the rights of the living are infringed upon. Elvis
performers can't perform without the permission of CMG -- the corporation that
owns Elvis's right of publicity, as well as those of a slew of other dead
actors, athletes and historic figures, such as Amelia Earhart and Mark Twain.
The problem for the living is that they can't build on the styles of the past
the way performers once did without paying a price. "How much does Elvis
Costello owe to Buddy Holly, Prince to Jimi Hendrix, or Michael Jackson to Diana
Ross?" one scholar asks. It doesn't matter. They aped them before the law made
it a crime.
July 12, 2010
Remember When . . .
Try and Figure Out Just How Old This Grandpa Is
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at
schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
His grandfather replied:
Well, let me think a minute, I was born before television, penicillin, polio
shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill.
There were no credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens.
Man had not invented air
conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers, the clothes were hung out to dry in
the fresh air, and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.
Your Grandmother and I got married first, and then lived together. Every
family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called every man older than
me, 'Sir'. We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, day-care
centers, and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common
sense.
We were taught to know the difference
between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger
privilege. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your
cousins. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and
weekends -- not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters,
yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and
the President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember any kid
blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
If you saw anything with "Made in Japan" on it, it was junk. The term "making
out" referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and
instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could
actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides
on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to
splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2
postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could afford one?
Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day "grass" was mowed, ''coke" was a cold drink, ''pot" was something your
mother cooked in, and ''rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby, ''Aids" were
helpers in the Principal's office, "chip" meant a piece of wood, ''hardware" was
found in a hardware store, and ''software" wasn't even a word.
And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband
to have a baby. No wonder people call us 'old and confused' and say there is a
generation gap . . . and how old do you think I am? I bet you have this old man
in mind . . . you are in for a shock! This man would be only 59 years old!
June 24, 2010
What I Now Think About All of the Little Things That Annoy Me
As you might remember, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son
started kindergarten.
Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.
One woman was late because her alarm clock did not go off in time.
One was late because of being stuck on the New Jersey Turnpike in an auto
accident.
One of them missed his bus.
One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.
One could not start his car.
One could not get a taxi.
The one that struck me was the man
who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took off to work but before he got
there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a
Band-Aid, and that is why he is alive today.
Now when I am stuck in traffic, turn back to answer a ringing telephone, and all
of the other little things that annoy me, I think to myself: This is exactly
where God wants me to be at this very moment.
Next time your morning seems to be going wrong when you cannot seem to find the
car keys, and you hit every traffic light, do not get mad or frustrated, it may
be that God is at work watching over you.
May God continue to bless you with
all those annoying little things, and may you remember their possible purpose.
Also remember that a coincidence has been described as "a minor miracle in which
God chooses to remain anonymous".
Most of all, simply remember this: Trust in the Lord in all things and lean
not unto your own understanding.
June 23, 2010
Who's Your Daddy? Son, I Asked You a Question: Who's Your Daddy?
A seminary professor was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg, TN. One
morning, they were eating breakfast at a little restaurant, hoping to enjoy a
quiet, family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a
distinguished looking, white-haired man moving from table to table, visiting
with the guests.
The professor leaned over and
whispered to his wife, "I hope he doesn't come over here." But sure enough, the
man did come over to their table.
"Where are you folks from?" he asked in a friendly voice.
"Oklahoma," they answered.
"Great to have you here in Tennessee," the stranger said. "What do you do for
a living?"
"I teach at a seminary," he replied.
"Oh, so you teach preachers how to
preach, do you? Well, I've got a really great story for you." And with that, the
gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with the couple.
The professor groaned and thought to himself, "Great . . . Just what I need .
. . Another preacher story!"
"The man started, "See that mountain over there? (pointing out the restaurant
window), not far from the base of that mountain, there was a boy born to an
unwed mother.
"He had a hard time growing up, because every place he went, he was always
asked the same question, "Hey boy, who's your daddy?" Whether he was at school,
in the grocery store or drug store, people would ask the same question, "Who's
your daddy?"
He would hide at recess and
lunchtime from other students. He would avoid going into stores because that
question hurt him so bad.
"When he was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to his church. He would
always go in late and slip out early to avoid hearing the question, 'Who's your
daddy?'
But one day, the new preacher said the benediction so fast he got caught and
had to walk out with the crowd. Just about the time he got to the back door, the
new preacher, not knowing anything about him, put his hand on his shoulder and
asked him, son, who's your daddy?
The whole church got deathly quiet. He could feel every eye in the church
looking at him. Now everyone would finally know the answer to the question,
'Who's your daddy?'
This new preacher, though, sensed
the situation around him and using discernment that only the Holy Spirit could
give, said the following to that scared little boy. "Wait a minute! I know who
you are. I see the family resemblance now. You are a child of God."
With that he patted the boy on his shoulder and said, "Boy, you've got a
great inheritance. Go and claim it."
"With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked
through the door a changed person. He was never the same again.
Whenever anybody asked him, "Who's
your Daddy?" he'd just tell them, "I'm a Child of God."
The distinguished gentleman got up from the table and said, "Isn't that a
great story?" The professor responded that it really was a great story!
As the man turned to leave, he said, "You know, if that new preacher hadn't
told me that I was one of God's children, I probably never would have amounted
to anything!" And he walked away.
The seminary professor and his wife were stunned. He called the waitress over
and asked her, "Do you know who that man was -- the one who just left that was
sitting at our table?"
The waitress grinned and said, "Of
course. Everybody here knows him. That's Ben Hooper. He's the former governor of
Tennessee!"
Someone in your life today needs a reminder that they're one of God's
children!
June 9, 2010
Deepak Chorpa:
The Mystery of Seeing - How You See Things Can Be What They Become
(Ed's Note: Deepak Chopra, M.D.,
continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is
known as a prolific author of more than 49 books with 12 best sellers on
mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace.)
By Deepak Chopra
David, who is now in his thirties, was born a twin, but he had a tiny genetic
heart defect that his twin lacked. "I was lucky, and my heart was repaired soon
after I was born," he relates. "There was no reason for me to be treated any
differently from my brother.
"But I remember from early on my mother's anxious looks whenever I tried to do
anything she thought was risky. My brother didn't get those looks, and by the
time we were 4 or 5, he was considered the strong one while I was the sensitive
one.
"There's a lot more to raising kids than looking at them, of course. My parents
did their best to provide equally for us and to love us the same way. I accepted
that I was the fragile twin, and as we grew up, it amazed me how wrong my
parents had been.
"My brother didn't turn out to be a
great success. I, who always expected to be on the sidelines, grew up to get
scholarships, a much better education, and a teaching job at a good university.
It took me years to realize that we were both shaped to become what we are."
This is one example of seeing, but many others come to mind. We look at those we
love entirely differently from people we don't love. Your gaze doesn't fall
passively. It conveys meaning, it makes another person aware of something.
In other words, your awareness speaks to theirs, and that is enough to create
changes in the brain, leading to changes elsewhere in the body.
There's no limit to the result. The secret is to create positive effects instead
of negative ones. Seeing is active. You send out energy, and take in energy from
others. You can decide to see with love and understanding, acceptance and
tolerance. When you do, these qualities exert a force on your surroundings that
benefits everything and everyone.
(You can voice your
opinion on any of my articles, including this one, by emailing me at
<edbagley@comcast.net>.
Your name, city and state is required. You notice that I put my name on my
comments. And yes, I am likely to post your comment on my web site as long as
you can dispense with using the f-word to make your point. I will let other
readers decide the validity of your point.)
June 1, 2010
Paying the Proper Respect
All Is Not Lost in the United States of America - There Is Still Some
Sense of Decency and Decorum Left
(Ed's Note: Just when you are
exasperated after reading about the lying, cheating, stealing, whoring and crass
infidelity of so many of our horny politicians running around in Congress, along
comes a ray of hope that some sense of decency and decorum still exist in the
United States of America. This story by an anonymous airline captain is an
example.)
My lead flight attendant came to me and said, "We have an H.R. on this
flight." (H.R. stands for human remains.) "Are they military?" I asked.
"Yes,"' she answered.
"Is there an escort?" I asked.
"Yes, I already assigned him a seat."
"Would you please tell him to come to the flight deck. You can board him early,"
I said.
A short while later, a young army sergeant entered the flight deck. He was the
image of the perfectly dressed soldier. He introduced himself and I asked him
about his soldier. The escorts of these fallen soldiers talk about them as if
they are still alive and still with us.
"My soldier is on his way back to
Virginia," he said. He proceeded to answer my questions, but offered no words.
I asked him if there was anything I could do for him and he said no. I told him
that he had the toughest job in the military, and that I appreciated the work
that he does for the families of our fallen soldiers. The first officer and I
got up out of our seats to shake his hand. He then left the flight deck to find
his seat.
We completed our preflight checks, pushed back and performed an uneventful
departure. About 30 minutes into our flight I received a call from the lead
flight attendant in the cabin.
"I just found out that the family of
the soldier we are carrying is on board," she said. She then proceeded to tell
me that the father, mother, wife and 2-year-old daughter were escorting their
son, husband, and father home.
The family was upset because they were unable to see the container that the
soldier was in before we left. We were on our way to a major hub where the
family was going to wait 4 hours for the connecting flight home to Virginia.
The father of the soldier told the flight attendant that knowing his son was
below him in the cargo compartment, and being unable to see him was too much for
him and the family to bear. He had asked the flight attendant if there was
anything that could be done to allow them to see him upon our arrival.
The family wanted to be outside by
the cargo door to watch the soldier being taken off the airplane. I could hear
the desperation in the flight attendants voice when she asked me if there was
anything I could do. "I'm on it," I said. I told her that I would get back to
her.
Airborne communication with my company normally occurs in the form of e-mail
like messages. I decided to bypass this system and contact my flight dispatcher
directly on a secondary radio. There is a radio operator in the operations
control center who connects you to the telephone of the dispatcher.
When I was in direct contact with the dispatcher, I explained the situation I
had on board with the family, and what it was the family wanted. He said he
understood, and that he would get back to me.
Two hours went by and I had not heard
from the dispatcher. We were going to get busy soon and I needed to know what to
tell the family. I sent a text message asking for an update. I saved the return
message from the dispatcher and the following is the text I received:
"Captain, sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. There is policy on this
now and I had to check on a few things. Upon your arrival a dedicated escort
team will meet the aircraft. The team will escort the family to the ramp and
plane side. A van will be used to load the remains with a secondary van for the
family.
"The family will be taken to their departure area and escorted into the
terminal where the remains can be seen on the ramp. It is a private area for the
family only. When the connecting aircraft arrives, the family will be escorted
onto the ramp and plane side to watch the remains being loaded for the final leg
home. Captain, most of us here in flight control are veterans. Please pass our
condolences on to the family. Thanks."
I sent a message back telling flight
control thanks for a good job. I printed out the message and gave it to the lead
flight attendant to pass on to the father. The lead flight attendant was very
thankful and told me, "You have no idea how much this will mean to them."
Things started getting busy for the descent, approach and landing. After
landing, we cleared the runway and taxied to the ramp area. The ramp is huge,
with 15 gates on either side of the alleyway. It is always a busy area with
aircraft maneuvering every which way to enter and exit. When we entered the ramp
and checked in with the ramp controller, we were told that all traffic was being
held for us.
"There is a team in place to meet the aircraft," we were told. It looked like it
was all coming together, then I realized that once we turned the seat belt sign
off, everyone would stand up at once and delay the family from getting off the
airplane.
As we approached our gate, I asked the copilot to tell the ramp controller we
were going to stop short of the gate to make an announcement to the passengers.
He did that and the ramp controller said, "Take your time."
I stopped the aircraft and set the
parking brake. I pushed the public address button and said, "Ladies and
gentleman, this is your Captain speaking. I have stopped short of our gate to
make a special announcement. We have a passenger on board who deserves our honor
and respect. His Name is Private XXXXXX, a soldier who recently lost his life.
Private XXXXXX is under your feet in the cargo hold.
"Escorting him today is Army Sergeant XXXXXXX. Also, on board are his father,
mother, wife, and daughter. Your entire flight crew is asking for all passengers
to remain in their seats to allow the family to exit the aircraft first. Thank
you."
We continued the turn to the gate, came to a stop and started our shutdown
procedures. A couple of minutes later I opened the cockpit door. I found the two
forward flight attendants crying, something you just do not see.
I was told that after we came to a stop, every passenger on the aircraft
stayed in their seats, waiting for the family to exit the aircraft.
When the family got up and gathered
their things, a passenger slowly started to clap his hands. Moments later more
passengers joined in and soon the entire aircraft was clapping. Words of "God
Bless You" "I'm sorry" "thank you" "be proud" and other kind words were uttered
to the family as they made their way down the aisle and out of the airplane.
They were escorted down to the ramp to finally be with their loved one.
Many of the passengers disembarking thanked me for the announcement I had made.
They were just words, I told them, I could say them over and over again, but
nothing I say will bring back that brave soldier.
I respectfully ask that all of you reflect on this event and the sacrifices that
millions of our men and women have made to ensure our freedom and safety in
these United States of America.
(You can voice your
opinion on any of my articles, including this one, by emailing me at
<edbagley@comcast.net>.
Your name, city and state is required. You notice that I put my name on my
comments. And yes, I am likely to post your comment on my web site as long as
you can dispense with using the f-word to make your point. I will let other
readers decide the validity of your point.)
May 25, 2010
Communicating With Your Pet
Cats Use Their Eyes, Paws, Tail and Body Posture to Send Us Signals About
How They Are Feeling
(Ed's Note: This guest article by
Kymberlie Adams appeared in the WebMD Health Exchange.)
By Kymberlie Adams
Your cat squints at you, then bats her eyes and paws in the air. Wouldn't you
love to know what she's thinking? Well, your feline may not be talking, but she
certainly is communicating! In fact, pet parents can learn a lot about their
cat's state of mind by simply knowing what to look for.
It's certainly not hard to figure out
what your cat is telling you when she meets you at the front door - the waving
of her tail says it all. Cats are very expressive animals, using all parts of
their bodies to communicate what they're feeling.
While some signals can be a bit more subtle, body postures, facial
expressions, and even the position of ears can speak volumes.
Cats often use their tails to communicate their moods. For example, a calm
and happy cat holds her tail either relaxed or upright. Drooping tails usually
signify unhappiness or impending illness.
Tails that appear puffy are a clear
indication your cat is either preparing to attack or is very frightened. If the
end of your cat's tail starts to twitch back and forth, she may be annoyed, and
it's best to leave her alone.
Ever moving, a cat's ears do much more than hear - they also reveal emotions and
upcoming actions. Ears perked up mean she's curious and interested. Add large
pupils and a tail held upright, and your cat is ready to play!
On the flip side, twitching ears typically indicate your cat is agitated or
nervous. If she flattens her ears and pulls her whiskers back tightly, she is
definitely in a bad mood.
Like human eyes, your kitty's eyes
dilate and widen with changing moods. If your cat looks at you with eyelids
fluttering and drooping, it's an indication of her trust in you. Wide-open eyes
indicate alertness and increased awareness.
Eyes half closed signify your kitty is relaxed and ready for a cat nap! A
frightened or fearful feline will have wide eyes with pupils that are fully
dilated - she may also situate herself in a sideways position. Be aware of
narrow, slit-like pupils - this often indicates that your cat is quite
irritated!
In order to truly understand your cat's frame of mind, you must observe her
entire body and put the pieces together. For example, when cats are happy and
content, they will blink their eyes slowly, knead their paws and purr. This goes
back to when they were nursing and would paw their mothers belly to stimulate
milk flow and show satisfaction.
On the flip side of things, cat's fur
can also be a mood indicator - of fear and anger. If your cat's hair is standing
up on end or her eyes are narrow and her tail is puffy, you'll know something
isn't right.
Once you learn how to "read" your cat's postures and signals, you'll better
understand her feelings and motivations and be better able to predict what she
is likely to do.
May 8, 2010
A Newborn Has a Conversation with God
(Ed's Note: A newborn baby
arguably captures our heart and attention more than anything else on the face of
the Earth, and for good reason. A newborn reminds us of the miracle of life, and
all of the hopes, dreams, struggles and victories we experience in life. A
newborn is also the reason why we must not allow the clock and the calendar to
blind us to the fact that each moment is a gift from God, and both a miracle and
a mystery.)
A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how
am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do
anything but sing and smile to be happy."
God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you
will feel your angel's love and be very happy."
Again the small child asked, "And how
am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the
language?"
God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will
ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to
speak."
"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to
pray."
"Who will protect me?"
God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."
"But I will always be
sad because I will not see you anymore."
God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the
way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be
heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me
my angel's name."
God said, You will simply call her, "Mom."
April 25, 2010
Hungarian Cooking
Paprika Catering: Kristi Dohring Conveys Lessons From Her Mother and
Grandmother into Culinary Creativity
(Ed's Note: This guest article by
Jeffrey P. Mayor was recently published in The News Tribune, based in
Tacoma, WA.)
By Jeffrey P. Mayor
OLYMPIA, WA - Kristi Dohring learned to prepare Hungarian cuisine in the
kitchen of her grandmother’s Lacey home. From her mother, Dohring learned how to
create an experience.
Those culinary lessons – with her grandmother Ilona Talaber and her mother
Ildiko Baldwin – are the foundation on which the 32-year-old Olympia resident
has built her own business, Paprika Catering.
"Growing up cooking and baking, I
learned a lot from my grandmother. She did everything from scratch, down to
making her own butter," Dohring said.
"I learned a lot of creative things from my mom, giving a good experience," she
added.
Dohring first dabbled in catering – serving family and friends – while attending
South Puget Sound Community College and The Evergreen State College.
A group of people interested in creating a farmers market in Tumwater approached
Dohring. She decided to take the plunge and took a space when the market opened
in May 2006.
"I thought it would be a good low
cost-way to get in the business," she said.
The business has since grown to where Dohring is working six days a week
catering events, attending farmers markets in Tacoma and Tumwater, working with
the Tacoma chapter of the National Association of Catering Executives and
creating her own events, such as an upcoming Mother’s Day brunch.
"I’m struggling to find a balance between my business and my life," she said
with a laugh.
Rooted in Heritage
Creating a catering business around her Hungarian heritage was easy for
Dohring. Her mother was 6 years old when she and her family left Miskolc, in
northwest Hungary, in 1956 for Toronto. In the early 1970s, the family moved to
the South Sound.
"When I was a kid, I’d climb in my grandma’s cherry tree and I’d pick the
cherries. The we’d go inside and make this cherry dessert," Dohring said.
Called meggyes kocka in Hungarian, the dessert is a spongy yellow cake with
cherries in it, and sprinkled with powdered sugar. Still a favorite, Dohring has
it on her dessert menu.
Other Hungarian offerings include
chicken paprikas (chicken in a paprika cream sauce over homemade noodles),
stuffed cabbage, a homemade summer sausage and dobas torte – a 12-layer cake
with chocolate cream frosting. She also serves crepes, including a savory crepe
filled with pork in a tomato and pepper sauce.
"A lot of cultures have crepes, but they call them something else. Hungarians
have crepes, but they call them palacsinta," Dohring said.
While admitting there is not a large Hungarian population in the South Sound,
she said enough people are familiar with the cuisine. She also offers a lot of
samples at the farmers markets.
"There are some people who have it in
their heritage. When they see the chicken paprikas at the farmers market, it
brings back that warm feeling," Dohring said.
"Having the Hungarian cuisine as an option is an educational opportunity for
me."
Cooked the original way, most Hungarian cuisine won’t qualify as light dining.
"Most Hungarians like to use sour cream," Dohring said with a self-deprecating
chuckle.
"I try to reduce how much I use, or I make it without it, especially if there is
an allergy."
She has developed recipes so she can
prepare her dishes without gluten, eggs or dairy products. She also looks to
substitute products, such as serving paprikas over rice instead of egg-laden
dumplings.
This is not to say her offerings are only Hungarian. A quick scan of
her offerings include basil chicken with wild mushrooms and a basil cream sauce;
salmon lasagna with spinach, basil, havarti and parmesan cheese; chilled
cucumber soup; and a crepe bar.
"I like to do custom menus for events. It makes it more unique for that person.
"I want for people, when they hire me, that they have everything they want, from
food to the experience. Along with the cuisine of your choice, you’ll also have
a fun time," she said.
Big Plans for the Future
Looking back over the past four years, Dohring is pleased with the progress she
has made, but admits the business is not as far along as she would hope.
"Starting a business in a recession is not an easy thing. I’m on the right path,
it’s just taking a little longer to get there," she said.
That doesn’t mean she is standing pat. Dohring has plans.
She is looking for a location in
Tacoma where she can set up a stand to sell food one day a week. She said she
would like to involve some other food vendors. "It helps to give customers more
choices."
She wants to be licensed so she can sell sauces, salad dressings and jams. "If
people have these sauces, some of these dishes are pretty easy to make."
She is looking to create more of her own events. One idea is to hold a holiday
party "where an office can bring its staff rather than hold a party at work."
Her biggest goal is finding a
location to house a kitchen and a small restaurant serving crepes and Hungarian
cuisine. Dohring prepares her dishes in a commercial kitchen that she rents in
Olympia.
She said it would likely be 2011 before she would open an eatery.
"I had a timeline, but with the way the economy has been, I’m looking for ways
to come up with more revenue. I want to have enough capital before I do that."
In the meantime, Dohring would like to make another trip to Hungary. She last
went about five years ago.
"There are a lot of products in Hungary you can’t get here without looking
really hard.
"I actually get my paprika from a
farmer in Hungary. It’s more flavorful. You can get eight different kinds of
paprika in Hungary, from sweet to spicy, sort of like cayenne."
For now, Dohring is intent on expanding her skills and the reach of her
business. She has had talks with the staff at Three Chicks Catering in Tacoma,
and she recently attended an international catering convention in Las Vegas.
"I’d like to have my own venue to have events – a really nice place where people
would want to have a wedding or party. I would like to have my products on the
(store) shelf.
"That’s a pretty good goal. I’m a big dreamer."
April 18, 2010
Guest Article
A Reflection on Who You Are, And How Easy It Is to Be Influenced by Others
(Ed's Note: Pamela Slim is an
author and coach. You can find her at Escape From Cubicle Nation <http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/>
)
By Pam Slim
You, Less Than.
I still remember the smell of damp ivy from a recent rain as I stood in the
backyard, waiting for my Dad to take my picture.
It was 1971 and I was 5 years old. I was wearing a brightly colored knit vest, a
present from my grandma. I tied my shoes myself, but was not totally sure I had
them on the right feet. It didn't matter. I was one powerful little girl. The
Champion of the World.
My Dad smiled at me, squinting his eyes as he crouched behind the camera. I was
safe, cherished and loved. He snapped the picture.
Things blew up after that, rather
quickly.
My Dad left home and his marriage, to find himself. That's what people did in
the 1970's in Marin County, California.
My world of family dinners and Dr. Seuss bedtime stories in my Dad's lap ended.
It was scary, unfamiliar, off-balance.
The way I had known myself: child of happy parents, member of a "normal" family
was no longer.
I spent a lot of time trying to
figure out who I was. I tried to be a perfect student. And when that got to be
too much, I inhaled, a lot. In my twenties I fell into a treacherous lover's
arms and paid dearly with a broken heart and wounded soul.
I found martial arts, self-employment and writing.
And one day in a box full of old family photographs, I found the picture.
Holding the yellowed edges in my hands, I remembered who I was. I felt who I
was. Who I had always been, except when I forgot.
Circumstances can cause you to
question who you are.
A boss writes you a stinging performance review.
A reader leaves a bitter comment on your blog post.
A vocal audience member questions your authority in the middle of your
presentation.
A publisher sends back your treasured manuscript with a crass note.
A spouse berates your manhood, or womanhood.
And you go from You, The Champion of
the World to
You, less than.
You, squashed.
You, angry and off-balance.
You, the misfit.
When you fall into this deep pit of
treachery and despair, you need something to pull you out. An image, a word, a
note. It helps when this object reflects both the love you have for yourself as
well as the love someone has for you.
Like a picture of you through your parent's eyes.
Or a note from an impassioned reader who loved the piece that you loved to
write.
Or a rock from a beach that was so beautiful you could swear that the sand was
kissing your feet.
You, less than, is a lie.
Remember who you are.
April 18, 2010 – 2nd Article
An Instant Response
A Young Child Is an Impressionable Child Who Can Find Herself Quickly Lost
in the World
Copyright © 2010 Ed Bagley
After reading Pam Slim's article, it got me to thinking about circumstances
in my life that caused me to become a perfectionist.
It would be years later that I discovered how physically and psychologically
unhealthy it is to be a perfectionist. At that point, I realized that I was a
perfectionist because deep down I wanted approval and acceptance from people.
There were no pluses in my being a perfectionist, except for the fact that I
was the best kind of perfectionist. What is that, you say?
Well, the best kind of
perfectionist is one who expects perfection from himself or herself only. The
next best is the perfectionist who expects perfection from himself and those
around him. The worst kind of perfectionist is the one who expects perfection
from others, but not himself. The latter kind is the boss from hell.
When I finally realized how destructive being a perfectionist was, I quit
being a perfectionist. From that point onward in my life, I sought excellence in
everything I did. This allowed me to turn out an excellent product with an
imperfection, and still feel excellent about my effort, whether others accepted
my effort or not.
From then on whenever anyone had a negative comment about me or my work, my
mantra was: What you think about me is none of my business; what is most
important is what I think about myself.
And, I made it my business to
understand that whatever the conversation was on the outside around me, I
understood that the most important conversation going on was the one I was
having with myself on the inside. At this point, I liked me and accepted me, and
this allowed me to like and accept others.
We are indeed all God's children, whether we believe in a greater power or
not. And the universe, whether we care to notice or not, is unfolding as it
should be and cannot help but do so.
Each of us may be but a grain of sand on a beach stretching thousands of
miles, but each of us is important. We have a purpose in being here, and a
mission to accomplish. Mine is serving others.
Yours may be something altogether
different. It does not matter. You are indeed a child of the universe, no less
than the sun or the stars.
April 14, 2010 - 2nd Article
It Was Daddy's Day at School, and She Was the Only One Without a Father
(Ed's Note: Sometimes in life we are
quick to judge what appears obvious, and sometimes we are dead wrong in our
assumptions. This poem reminds us of why.)
Her hair was up in a ponytail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in
back, for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats
One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
for a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
"And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.
"He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.
"We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.
"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere there in the crowd
of dads, her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was a right.
And when she dropped her hand back
down, staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.
"You see he is an American Soldier
and died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Americans to fear.
"But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mother's amazement,
she witnessed with surprise,
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for
a moment, by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.
(Ed's Note: They say it takes a minute
to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but
then an entire life to forget them. Years from now, not a person in that
classroom will remember the exact day or place, but they will never forgot the
moment. We remember moments in our life long after we have forgotten the time
and place. Treasure every sweet moment in your life that found a place in your
heart and never left. God bless every child who must grow up without a father.
Remember the little ones, they are the source of everything good. Their
innocence is an important part of our salvation when we help deliver them from
harm, ruin or loss.)
April 10, 2010
Try Austria in
1938
Liberal Progressives Would Love a European Social Democracy in America –
Little Do They Know Where They Are Headed (That's Why They Are Liberal
Progressives)
(Ed's Note: Those who ignore history
are condemned to repeat it, hopefully, not on my watch. I actually read history,
and if you do not, try reading this article for starters. Kitty Werthmann, the
author of this article, lives in South Dakota and appears to be very active in
attempting to maintain our freedom. Google Kitty Werthmann and you will see more
articles and videos.)
By Kitty Werthmann
What I am about to tell you is something you've probably never heard or will
ever read in history books.
I believe that I am an eyewitness to history. I cannot tell you that Hitler took
Austria by tanks and guns; it would distort history. We elected him by a
landslide—98% of the vote. I've never read that in any American publications.
Everyone thinks that Hitler just rolled in with his tanks and took Austria by
force.
In 1938, Austria was
in deep Depression. Nearly one-third of our workforce was unemployed. We had 25%
inflation and 25% bank loan interest rates.
Farmers and business people were declaring bankruptcy daily. Young people were
going from house to house begging for food. Not that they didn't want to work;
there simply weren't any jobs. My mother was a Christian woman and believed in
helping people in need. Every day we cooked a big kettle of soup and baked bread
to feed those poor, hungry people—about 30 daily.
The Communist Party and the National Socialist Party were fighting each other.
Blocks and blocks of cities like Vienna, Linz, and Graz were destroyed. The
people became desperate and petitioned the government to let them decide what
kind of government they wanted.
We looked to our neighbor on the
north, Germany, where Hitler had been in power since 1933. We had been told that
they didn't have unemployment or crime, and they had a high standard of living.
Nothing was ever said about persecution of any group -- Jewish or otherwise. We
were led to believe that everyone was happy.
We wanted the same way of life in Austria. We were promised that a vote for
Hitler would mean the end of unemployment and help for the family. Hitler also
said that businesses would be assisted, and farmers would get their farms back.
Ninety-eight percent of the population voted to annex Austria to Germany and
have Hitler for our ruler.
We were overjoyed, and for three days we danced in the streets and had
candlelight parades. The new government opened up big field kitchens and
everyone was fed.
After the election, German officials
were appointed, and like a miracle, we suddenly had law and order. Three or four
weeks later, everyone was employed. The government made sure that a lot of work
was created through the Public Work Service.
Hitler decided we should have equal rights for women. Before this, it was a
custom that married Austrian women did not work outside the home. An able-bodied
husband would be looked down on if he couldn't support his family. Many women in
the teaching profession were elated that they could retain the jobs they
previously had been required to give up for marriage.
Hitler Targets Education - Eliminates
Religious Instruction for Children
Our education was nationalized. I attended a very good public school. The
population was predominantly Catholic, so we had religion in our schools. The
day we elected Hitler (March 13, 1938), I walked into my schoolroom to find the
crucifix replaced by Hitler's picture hanging next to a Nazi flag.
Our teacher, a very devout woman, stood up and told the class we wouldn't
pray or have religion anymore. Instead, we sang "Deutschland, Deutschland, Uber
Alles," and had physical education.
Sunday became National Youth Day with
compulsory attendance. Parents were not pleased about the sudden change in
curriculum. They were told that if they did not send us, they would receive a
stiff letter of warning the first time. The second time they would be fined the
equivalent of $300, and the third time they would be subject to jail.
The first two hours consisted of political indoctrination. The rest of the
day we had sports. As time went along, we loved it. Oh, we had so much fun and
got our sports equipment free. We would go home and gleefully tell our parents
about the wonderful time we had.
My mother was very unhappy. When the next term started, she took me out of
public school and put me in a convent. I told her she couldn't do that and she
told me that someday when I grew up, I would be grateful.
There was a very good curriculum,
but hardly any fun - no sports, and no political indoctrination. I hated it at
first but felt I could tolerate it. Every once in a while, on holidays, I went
home. I would go back to my old friends and ask what was going on and what they
were doing. Their loose lifestyle was very alarming to me. They lived without
religion.
By that time unwed mothers were glorified for having a baby for Hitler. It
seemed strange to me that our society changed so suddenly. As time went along, I
realized what a great deed my mother did so that I wasn't exposed to that kind
of humanistic philosophy.
Equal Rights Hits Home
In 1939, the war started and a food bank was established. All food was rationed
and could only be purchased using food stamps. At the same time, a
full-employment law was passed which meant if you didn't work, you didn't get a
ration card, and if you didn't have a card, you starved to death. Women who
stayed home to raise their families didn't have any marketable skills and often
had to take jobs more suited for men.
Soon after this, the draft was
implemented. It was compulsory for young people, male and female, to give one
year to the labor corps . During the day, the girls worked on the farms, and at
night they returned to their barracks for military training just like the boys.
They were trained to be anti-aircraft gunners and participated in the signal
corps. After the labor corps, they were not discharged but were used in the
front lines. When I go back to Austria to visit my family and friends, most of
these women are emotional cripples because they just were not equipped to handle
the horrors of combat.
Three months before I turned 18, I was severely injured in an air raid attack. I
nearly had a leg amputated, so I was spared having to go into the labor corps
and into military service.
Hitler Restructured the Family
Through Daycare
When the mothers had to go out into the work force, the government immediately
established child care centers. You could take your children ages 4 weeks to
school age and leave them there around-the-clock, 7 days a week, under the total
care of the government.
The state raised a whole generation of children. There were no motherly women
to take care of the children, just people highly trained in child psychology. By
this time, no one talked about equal rights. We knew we had been had.
Health Care and Small Business Suffer
Under Government Controls
Before Hitler, we had very good medical care. Many American doctors trained at
the University of Vienna. After Hitler, health care was socialized, free for
everyone. Doctors were salaried by the government. The problem was, since it was
free, the people were going to the doctors for everything. When the good doctor
arrived at his office at 8 a.m., 40 people were already waiting and, at the same
time, the hospitals were full.
If you needed elective surgery, you had to wait a year or two for your turn.
There was no money for research as it was poured into socialized medicine.
Research at the medical schools literally stopped, so the best doctors left
Austria and immigrated to other countries.
As for healthcare, our tax rates went
up to 80 % of our income. Newlyweds immediately received a $1,000 loan from the
government to establish a household. We had big programs for families. All day
care and education were free. High schools were taken over by the government and
college tuition was subsidized. Everyone was entitled to free handouts, such as
food stamps, clothing, and housing.
We had another agency designed to monitor business. My brother-in-law owned a
restaurant that had square tables. Government officials told him he had to
replace them with round tables because people might bump themselves on the
corners. Then they said he had to have additional bathroom facilities.
It was just a small dairy business
with a snack bar. He couldn't meet all the demands. Soon, he went out of
business. If the government owned the large businesses and not many small ones
existed, it could be in control.
We had consumer protection. We were told how to shop and what to buy. Free
enterprise was essentially abolished. We had a planning agency specially
designed for farmers. The agents would go to the farms, count the livestock,
then tell the farmers what to produce, and how to produce it.
"Mercy Killing" Redefined
In 1944, I was a student teacher in a small village in the Alps. The villagers
were surrounded by mountain passes which, in the winter, were closed off with
snow, causing people to be isolated. So people intermarried and offspring were
sometimes retarded.
When I arrived, I was told there were 15 mentally retarded adults, but they
were all useful and did good manual work. I knew one, named Vincent, very well.
He was a janitor of the school.
One day I looked out the window
and saw Vincent and others getting into a van. I asked my superior where they
were going. She said to an institution where the State Health Department would
teach them a trade, and to read and write. The families were required to sign
papers with a little clause that they could not visit for 6 months. They were
told visits would interfere with the program and might cause homesickness.
As time passed, letters started to dribble back saying these people died a
natural, merciful death. The villagers were not fooled. We suspected what was
happening. Those people left in excellent physical health and all died within 6
months. We called this euthanasia.
The Final Steps - Gun Laws
Next came gun registration. People were getting injured by guns. Hitler said
that the real way to catch criminals (we still had a few) was by matching serial
numbers on guns. Most citizens were law abiding and dutifully marched to the
police station to register their firearms.
Not long afterwards, the police said that it was best for everyone to turn in
their guns. The authorities already knew who had them, so it was futile not to
comply voluntarily.
No more freedom of speech. Anyone who
said something against the government was taken away. We knew many people who
were arrested, not only Jews, but also priests and ministers who spoke up.
Totalitarianism didn't come quickly, it took 5 years from 1938 until 1943, to
realize full dictatorship in Austria. Had it happened overnight, my countrymen
would have fought to the last breath. Instead, we had creeping gradualism.
Now, our only weapons were broom handles. The whole idea sounds almost
unbelievable that the state, little by little eroded our freedom.
After World War II, Russian troops
occupied Austria. Women were raped, preteen to elderly. The press never wrote
about this either. When the Soviets left in 1955, they took everything that they
could, dismantling whole factories in the process. They sawed down whole
orchards of fruit, and what they couldn't destroy, they burned.
We called it The Burned Earth. Most of the population barricaded themselves
in their houses. Women hid in their cellars for 6 weeks as the troops mobilized.
Those who couldn’t paid the price. There is a monument in Vienna today,
dedicated to those women who were massacred by the Russians. This is an
eyewitness account.
"It's true . . . those of us who sailed past the Statue of Liberty came to a
country of unbelievable freedom and opportunity".
America Truly is the Greatest Country
in the World. Don ' t Let Freedom Slip Away,
"After America, There is No Place to Go".
April 8, 2010
An 11-Year-Old Girl Successfully Defends Herself and Saves Her Life When
Two Illegal Aliens Break Into Her Home
Copyright © 2010 Ed Bagley
The following story details an event that happened in Butte, Montana in
November of 2007.
I post it here because there are a lot of liberal progressives who want
absolute gun control—no guns for anyone but government law enforcement officers
and the military.
This is typically a knee-jerk,
non-thinking reaction to some celebrity or well-known politician getting
assassinated by some nut case. In the meantime, there are hundreds of common
folks getting shot to death by criminals, some of whom are illegal aliens.
Our U. S. Constitution's Second Amendment gives us the right to bear arms.
People should have a right to defend themselves when they are threatened by
someone or some entity intent on doing them harm.
I think taking guns away from law-abiding citizens is a real threat to their
safety, sense of security and freedom. To do so would encourage a democracy to
become a much stricter, government-controlled form of government. Government, or
more correctly, its leaders, left with too much power, cannot be a good
prescription for freedom as we know it.
There are more criminals than
police officers, and if only government law enforcement officers, the military
and criminals had guns, citizen safety would be in jeopardy. Every corrupt form
of government takes guns away from its citizens before it assumes power and
control over the people.
A government and leadership drunk with power, not to mention criminals who
would acquire guns illegally, could easily run amuck, endangering the general
population. Armed citizens can and do discourage a lot of criminal activity that
would otherwise occur.
Citizens who are not armed would be easy prey for a corrupt dictator or
leader hell bent on consolidating a power base for personal gain and control of
a captured population. History has recorded too many examples of government
leaders out of control who gained control more easily but taking away the right
to bear arms.
The best government is the least
government. A government that can guarantee you everything (jobs, health care,
housing, etc.) is a government that can take everything away from you—including
your freedom and the means to resist its corrupt agenda and motives. Power tends
to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Here is an event that demonstrates clearly why we as citizens need to protect
ourselves from criminals and/or government leaders who are clearly out of
control:
"Two illegal aliens, Ralphel Resindez, 23, and Enrico Garza, 26, probably
believed they would easily overpower home-alone 11-year-old Patricia Harrington
after her father had left their two-story home.
It seems the two crooks never learned two things: they were in Montana and
Patricia had been a clay shooting champion since she was 9 years old.
Patricia was in her upstairs room when the two men broke through the front door
of her house. She quickly ran to her father's room and grabbed his 12-gauge
Mossberg 500 shotgun.
Resindez was the first to get up
to the second floor only to be the first to catch a near point blank blast of
buckshot from the 11-year-old's knee crouch aim. He suffered fatal wounds to his
abdomen and genitals.
When Garza ran to the foot of the stairs, he took a blast to the left shoulder
and staggered out into the street where he bled to death before medical help
could arrive
It was found out later that Resindez was armed with a stolen 45-caliber
handgun he took from another home invasion robbery. That victim, 50-year-old
David Burin, was not so lucky. He died from stab wounds to the chest.
An 11-year-old girl, properly
trained, defended her home, and herself . . . against two murderous, illegal
immigrants . . . and she is the last person standing.
Thought for the day: Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is
like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist".
March 17, 2010
The Pride of Accomplishments
Matter
The Irish Apparently Have a Thing About Death - They Won't Let the History
Be Buried With the Body
(Ed's Note: I once went to a Polish
funeral. You could not have seen a sadder bunch at the funeral service, with
tears flowing and great discomfort. Once it was over, and the reception arrived,
the liquor flowed, and festive music and dancing began immediately; it was one
of the most raucous parties I have ever attended—with smiles and laughs from ear
to ear. Afterward, I reflected that it must surely have been a celebration of a
life. This article by Suzanne Strempek Shea takes a look at Irish culture and
traditions about death.)
By Suzanne Strempek Shea
When I married into an Irish family 25 years ago, I quickly noticed that death
was mentioned as much as life.
James Joyce, my father-in-law, and his friends never looked so jazzed as when
they headed off to a day at a funeral, burial and reception. My mother-in-law
kept a fat purse of neatly filed prayer cards, collected at every wake attended
since her arrival in this country, in 1949.
When my husband and I traveled to
the villages from which my in-laws emigrated, relations whisked us off to
cemeteries. During that vacation, I heard for the first time my husband call
home with the greeting: "Hi, Ma! Anybody dead?"
And Ma knew. Because in her house, the freshly delivered newspaper is flipped
straight to obituaries, also known as the Irish sports pages.
An entire book of those pages fills Great Irish Lives, a 362-page
collection of obituaries of Irish-born and Irish-connected notables, now in
paperback from HarperCollins UK. If ever a country were custom-made for such a
compendium, Ireland is it.
Ancient Celts constantly faced mortality, constantly searched for signs of
being next; the dominating Roman Catholic Church's expected
at-least-thrice-daily prayers are rife with references to death and the
afterlife. So while the Irish truly might be "sorry for your
troubles" at your loved one's wake, there's a side of them that wouldn't know
what to do in a world where death had died.
But this book was born in another
country. The 96 pieces that follow an introduction by editor and veteran
obituarist Charles Lysaght originally ran in The Times of
London. Politically, that's
perhaps a surprising fact, but this tome, one in a series that includes
Obituaries from the Times 1961-1970
and Great Victorian
Lives: An Era in Obituaries,
aims to remind readers "both of some prominent Irish people we may have
forgotten and of forgotten aspects of many others whom we remember."
Figures from the worlds of music, film, religion, literature, science, politics
and sports are featured. In this book, "Irish" refers to both the Republic of
Ireland and Northern Ireland, so included are such Northern Irish figures as
George Best of Belfast ("the most talented British football player of his and
arguably of any generation," with the city airport named in his honor), and
Sister Genevieve O'Farrell, who attempted to run a school in the war zone that
was Belfast's Falls Road area.
George Best "A woman of great courage and spirituality, [O'Farrell] defied the
Roman Catholic Church, the IRA, and the Army in her tenacious determination to
give her girls the best possible start in life, never hesitating to take on all
those who stood in her way." There is no way to credit the author of this or any
other inclusion.
Writes Lysaght, who is rumored to have penned some of the modern-day
submissions, the identities "will not be disclosed by the paper in their
lifetime, . keeping faith with the nineteenth century descriptions of The
Times as 'the most obstinately anonymous newspaper in the World.'"
The survey begins with the June 6,
1820, death of Henry Grattan, a member of the Irish House of Commons who opposed
the Act of Union 1800 that merged Ireland and Great Britain. Antique style
remains untouched: "With unfeigned concern we announce . the much-to-be-lamented
death of the Right Hon. Henry Grattan. The dissolution of this intrepid patriot
would have been a subject of deep regret to the empire at large, had not the
decline of his intellectual as well as vital powers been more recently
observed."
Delivered with similar embroidery is news of the May 15, 1847, death of Daniel
O'Connell, "The Liberator of Ireland," who led a movement that forced the
British to pass the Catholic Emancipation Act of 1829, after which Roman
Catholics could become members of the British House of Commons. "We believe
there is no doubt that Mr. O'Connell expired on Saturday, the 15th of this
month, at Genoa. He yielded up his latest breath at the distance of many hundred
miles from the remains of [his] humble dwelling...."
Don't let language stop you from reading, and learning. The obituary of James
Augustine Aloysius Joyce, Jan. 13, 1941, includes the story of his meeting as a
student with W.B. Yeats, whose obit resides nearby. The back-and-forth: "We have
met too late," the budding novelist said, "you are too old to be influenced by
me," to which the poet answered, "Never have I encountered so much pretension
with so little to show for it."
Religious leaders include no fewer
than four cardinals, with Cardinal James Gibbons of Baltimore, Md., March 24,
1921, a nod to the Irish diaspora. But there's also Dermot Morgan, whose sudden
death on Feb. 28, 1998, jolted the masses who adored his portrayal of fictional
priest-in-exile Father Ted on the U.K. Channel 4 sitcom of the same name.
Tommy Makem. Also representing the arts community are The Chieftains' Tommy
Makem, Aug, 1, 2007, "The Godfather of Irish Music"; playwright and novelist
John B. Keane, May 30, 2002, best known in this country for writing the
screenplay to the Academy Award-nominated film The Field and described thusly:
"Straight as a die, he hated intolerance and berated the hypocrisy surrounding
much Irish republicanism."
There's stained class artist Evie Hone, singer John McCormack, and lots of fine
writing. The Aug. 29, 1970, obituary for 90-year-old Dublin hostess Lady
Constance Geraldine Hanson notes, "The tenderness with which she encouraged the
humble and meek was matched by the almost surgical skill with which she
punctured the proud and overbearing."
The book concludes with the obituary of Nuala O'Faolain, May 9, 2008,
broadcaster, columnist and author, whose two memoirs, Are You Somebody? And
Almost There garnered international praise. Her final radio interview one month
earlier shocked listeners with news of her incurable cancer and her decision to
forgo treatment.
"Intrepid as ever," we read, "she
undertook a frantic round of trips to her favourite cities, enjoying the
galleries and sights, retiring to a hospice only in the last days of her life."
And, in her living with death, being a very Irish soul to finish this very Irish
collection.
March 8, 2010
The Answer May Surprise You
What Fills Up a Clean Mayonnaise Jar Best: Golf Balls, Pebbles, Sand or
Just Two Cups of Coffee?
(Ed's
Note: Every now and then you come across a good story with a great message. Here
is one that all of us could benefit from reading.)
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a
day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of
him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise
jar and started to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the
jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of
pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly, and the pebbles
rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students
again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was
full. The students responded with an unanimous "'yes".
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured
the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling up the empty space between
the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the
laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
"The golf balls are the important things—God, family, children, health, friends,
and favorite passions. Things that if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full.
"The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else—the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar
first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
"The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small
stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So pay
attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your
children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner.
"There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take
care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
"I'm glad you asked. It just goes to
show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there is always room for a
couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
Indeed. Take care of the important things in your life, and remember, if you
want a friend, then be a friend to someone.
March 3, 2010
Better a Spit Than None
If You Have a Spit of Irish in You, This Is What It Means to Be in an
Irish Family
Copyright © 2010 Ed Bagley
When I think of things Irish I think of "the running of the green" and my
good friend Mary O'Donovan.
The running of the green refers to Ireland's three great world-class
milers—Ron Delany, Marcus O'Sullivan and Eamonn Coghlan. They are as much a part
of Irish folklore as leprechauns, but are also legends in running circles around
the world. All three of them ran for Ireland in the Olympic games, and all three
of them ran for the legendary track coach Jim "Jumbo" Elliott at Villanova.
Mary O'Donovan is Irish to the core—she was born, bred and educated in her
homeland before coming to America and becoming a Senior Director at BioMarin, a
biotechnology company based in the San Francisco Bay Area.
Near as I can tell, I am only 15%
Irish, but it would be the best 15% of me. I know I am Irish because my last
name is Bagley, I am a writer by trade, I drink Jameson whiskey, and green is my
favorite color
When I think about having fun, I think about being Irish, which reminds me of
the famous line—there are only two kinds of people, those who are Irish, and
those who wish they were Irish!
St. Patrick's Day (Wednesday, March 17) will find me at O'Blarney's Irish Pub
in Lacey, Washington, eating a corned beef sandwich and washing it down with
several shots of Jameson Irish whiskey. O'Blarney's is legend where I live; it
has been voted the Best Burger place for 14 of the last 16 years. I suspect the
two years it was not voted the best was because too many patrons had too much to
drink to remember to vote.
O'Blarney's also reminds me of the
woman who got up to give a speech, spilled her 3x5 notecards on the floor, and
then said, "Oh, what the hell, I'll just wing it. I must confess that I am
nervous because I gave up my Irish whiskey for Lent, and now the beer is driving
me crazy."
My St. Patrick's Day celebration is off to a great start this year as Mary
O'Donovan was kind enough to share with me these thoughts floating around the
Internet about what it means to be in an Irish family:
"You will never play professional basketball.
You have never hit your head on a ceiling.
You swear very well.
At least one of your cousins is a
fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds a political office, and you
have at least one aunt who is a nun or an uncle who is a priest.
Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen, and
there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine
Eileen.
You are, or know someone, named Murphy.
If you don't know Murphy then you
know Mac. If you don't know Murphy or Mac, then you know Sully, and you probably
know McMurphy.
Many of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin.
"Irish Stew" is a euphemism for "boiled leftovers".
You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer.
Childhood remedies for the common
cold often included some form of whiskey.
You learned to drink at an early age, and saw no reason to stop.
You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
There wasn't a huge difference
between your last wake and your last keg party.
You think you sing very well. You may not know the words, but that does not
stop you from singing.
You have no idea how to make a long story short!
You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking.
You're not nearly as funny as you
think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.
You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
Your skin's ability to tan . . . not so much. (Only in spots!)
There's no leaving a family party
without saying goodbye for at least 45 minutes.
Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations.
There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper, or killing
someone.
You have Irish Alzheimer's—you forget
everything but the grudges!
At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to
each other. Not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other."
My thanks to Mary O'Donovan for reminding me about what it is to be Irish.
May I wish you all an early "Happy St. Patrick's Day", and may you find an
O'Blarney's Irish Pub in your neighborhood.
March 2, 2010
Underfunding—A Serious Issue
American Recession Has Pushed the Social Security System Into the Red
Sooner Than Expected
(Ed's Note: What should have the rapt
attention of 43.5 million retirees in America and another 10.2 million disabled
Americans? It is called social security benefits, and the system is in trouble.
Find out why in this article by the AARP's Carole Fleck.)
By Carole Fleck
For the first time in a generation, America's largest social program is
spending more on benefits than it is collecting in taxes. And that has fueled
talk once again about the need for Social Security reform.
In a January poll by the Pew Research
Center for the People & the Press, Social Security ranked as respondents'
biggest concern after jobs, the economy and terrorism. Two-thirds said it should
be a top priority for the president and Congress.
Blame the recession for straining Social Security. High unemployment,
anticipated by Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke to last through at least
2012, has resulted in fewer workers paying taxes into the system. At the same
time, millions of older people claimed their benefits early to replace or
supplement their income. Today, 43.5 million retirees and 10.2 million people
with disabilities collect monthly benefits.
Those factors have caused Social Security to dip into the red, according to the
system's chief actuary, Stephen Goss. "This is the first time that Social
Security is taking in less than it is paying out in benefits," he says.
A Demographic Crunch by Baby Boomers
Even before the recession hit, Social Security was projected to start losing
money in about 6 years, thanks in part to the looming retirements by boomers.
Lower birth rates and higher life expectancies are also contributing to the
drain on the system.
Between 1975 and 2010, Goss says, 3.3
workers paid taxes for every beneficiary, funding about $900 of a monthly $1,000
benefit. But projections show that between 2010 and 2035, when boomers retire,
the ratio will fall to two workers per beneficiary, funding only about $500 of a
retiree's $1,000 benefit.
"That's a big change," he says, resulting in "a substantially higher cost" for
the program if current benefit levels are retained.
Goss was quick to point out, however, that the Social Security trust fund has
about $2.5 trillion in assets that can be tapped to pay out benefits.
In the latest Social Security trustees report, the program was projected to pay
full benefits through 2036 using the trust fund reserve. In 2037, he says, 76
cents in taxes will be collected for every $1 going out—meaning beneficiaries
may only see about three-fourths of what their payment would have been.
At a February campaign rally for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in Nevada,
President Barack Obama suggested one way to beef up the system's long-term
stability: Lift the cap on earnings subject to the Social Security tax.
Currently, the earnings cap is $106,800 a year. Raising the cap would increase
the amount of Social Security tax that wealthier people pay.
Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, the
ranking Republican on the House Budget Committee, offered a more radical
approach. He proposed giving workers under age 55 the option of investing more
than one-third of their current Social Security taxes into private retirement
accounts. President George W. Bush proposed a similar approach in 2005, but the
idea stalled in Congress
Many policy experts believe that Congress will be forced to decide whether to
raise payroll taxes, cut Social Security benefits, adjust the benefits formula
or increase the retirement eligibility age-or to do all of the above-in order to
close the gap between what the system spends and collects.
But those options are unpalatable to
lawmakers afraid of voter backlash, so no major Social Security reform
legislation is expected this election year.
Instead, Obama has signed an executive order creating a bipartisan commission to
come up with solutions to cut the nation's growing debt. The commission would
look for ways to overhaul massive entitlement programs such as Social Security
and Medicare.
The Value of Social Security Is
Critical
Strengthening Social Security is critical, because it is the only benefit that
retirees cannot outlive and that is fully protected against inflation.
Beneficiaries in 2009 got a 5.8 percent cost-of-living hike. Inflation declined
from 2008 to 2009, so there was no increase for 2010.
"We need to shore up this system, which is crucial to people's retirement
security," says Alicia Munnell, director of the Center for Retirement Research
at Boston College. "The rest of the retirement system is small-401(k) plans, the
predominant form of saving in the private sector, have modest balances and will
not provide people with much in the way of retirement income."
Social Security is the sole source of
income for more than one-third of its recipients. For a majority of retirees,
Social Security benefits make up more than half their annual income. With home
values falling and stocks having lost value, Munnell says the system is certain
to become more important in the future, not less.
As it is, Social Security in 2002 replaced just 43 percent of
pre-retirement earnings for low-wage workers retiring at age 62, Munnell says.
By 2030, when the full retirement age increases from 66 to 67, the replacement
rate will be 39 percent.
"There's no crisis, but early action by Congress is desirable for people's
confidence and sense of ease about the security of what's the greatest source of
retirement income for the majority of Americans," says Henry Aaron, a senior
fellow at the Brookings Institution, a think tank in Washington.
"Social Security benefits play a
pivotal role in the lives of most retirees and the very old," he adds. Social
Security benefits also go to survivors of deceased workers and their minor
children.
"Many of us do not appreciate how important Social Security benefits are to the
typical American," Aaron says.
January 24, 2010
"You Should Be Ashamed"
Bill Cosby Becomes Unpopular for Taking the Underbelly of the African
American Community to Task
(Ed's Note: Dr. William Henry
"Bill" Cosby, Jr., has a doctor's degree in education and does not talk like he
came from the "hood". Here is what he said to a gathering of black students who
asked about the bailout in America. His message is not about color, it is about
behavior, setting higher personal standards, and taking responsibility for your
actions rather than whining about what is not happening in your life.)
They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.
I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You
can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. In fact you
will never get any kind of job making a decent living.
People marched and were hit in the
face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads
walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.
$500 sneakers for what?
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who
cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2?
Where were you when he was 12?
Where were you when he was 18, and how come you didn't know that he had a
pistol?
And where is the father? Or who is
his father?
People putting their clothes on backward: Isn't that a sign of something gone
wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a
sign of something?
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all
type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come
from?
We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing
about Africa.
I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are
European-American. That is totally stupid.
I was born here, and so were my
parents and grandparents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have
any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany, Scotland
, England, Ireland, or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all
the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already!
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of
them are in jail.
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's
problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a
woman has eight children with eight different "husbands"—or men or whatever you
call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as
black folks, have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other
to a higher standard.
We cannot blame the white people any longer.
November 19, 2009 -
2nd Article
Surviving
Thanksgiving:
A Guest Article for Women, Unless You Are a
Stay-at-Home Dad Cooking Dinner
(Ed's Note: Ann
Pietrangelo embraces the concept of personal responsibility for health and
wellness. As a multiple sclerosis patient, she combines a healthy lifestyle and
education with modern medicine, and seeks to provide information and support to
others. Here Ann shares her thoughts of preparing a Thanksgiving feast for
family friends.)
By Ann Pietrangelo
The leaves have fallen, the air is cool and crisp, and the
clocks have been turned back an hour, signaling the beginning of the holiday
season.
Thanksgiving celebrations are supposed to be a time of sharing bounty with
family and friends. For people who live with chronic illness like multiple
sclerosis, anticipation of Thanksgiving dinner can also be a time of increased
emotional stress, exhaustion, and physical strain. We may want to celebrate, but
chronic illness never takes a holiday.
Whether you are hosting the
festivities for yourself or are simply an invited guest, planning ahead can make
all the difference in the world.
The first consideration is whether or not you will host your own gathering. Even
if you've always done so, if circumstances have changed, you may want to
consider relinquishing those duties. Perhaps there are other family members who
would be thrilled to take on the responsibility, but you will never know unless
you ask.
As a guest, you have the option of resting earlier in the day if necessary. You
can offer to bring a dish that you prepare the day before, or you can simply
bring a bottle of wine, soft drinks, flowers, etc. Best of all, you can freely
leave the event whenever the time is right.
If you do decide to host the holiday,
a few simple tips will help to see you through.
1) Have reasonable expectations. You need not compare yourself to gourmet chefs
and happy homemakers. Simplicity is bliss.
2) Try to spread the workload out over several days so that it does not all fall
on your shoulders on Thanksgiving morning.
3) Before company arrives, take a break. Put your feet up and close your eyes
for 15 minutes so you will feel more refreshed.
4) Everything need not be made from
scratch. Some prepared dishes can ease the burden considerably. So ask some of
your guests to contribute.
5) Accept offers of help. Most people are not just spouting empty words when
they offer and genuinely want to help. If they do not offer—ask—especially when
it comes to cleaning up. Other people can become distracted by the holiday and
may not notice that you are having a tough time. Getting the whole gang in on
the action can even be fun and give you added time to chat with loved ones.
6) Remember that in the long run it
is not about your housekeeping and cooking skills. It is about being with the
people we love. When I look back on holidays past, I have not a clue about the
small details, but the warm feeling of breaking bread with loved ones shines
through. It is about the smiles and the laughs and the hugs. Even the things
that went awry can bring back fond memories and make us laugh all over again.
Living with a chronic illness means planning ahead and taking control. Stress
can exacerbate MS symptoms, so not allowing ourselves to get caught up in crazy
details is essential. And let us not forget the many things for which we can be
truly thankful.
Wishing you and yours all the best this Thanksgiving.
November 7, 2009
Lessons in Life:
The Power of Purr-ayer
(Ed's Note: Janet
Garey is a professional journalist and environmental educator devoted to a
variety of community-based projects, which she either developed or supports in
service of Planet Earth and all creatures great and small. Janet, her daughter
Amanda, and her granddaughter Alexandra rescue and find homes for hundreds of
stray or abandoned cats simply for the joy and love they give and get from their
feline family.)
By Janet Garey
Ours is not a quiet household.
Despite a youthful tendency to position myself way too close to enormous
speakers at countless rock concerts which left me chronically hearing-impaired,
I honestly believed back then that my golden years would be spent in peace and
quiet.
I naively expected my then-strident voice (in print, it
probably would have appeared entirely in UPPER CASE letters, much like the title
character of author John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany) to evolve into
a sweet, soothing, gentle tonality.
I anticipated my
"little old lady" days would feature an accompanying soundtrack of teapot
whistles, John Denver records, cooing grandbabies, creaking rocking chairs,
kitty meows, little dog yips and bird song.
In lieu of the life I imagined "When I'm 64", my
theme song has become "Wouldn't It Be Loverly?"
Today, some years shy of 64, my days are punctuated by a multitude of
challenges, many of them auditory: If the telephone is not ringing, then
someone's banging on the door. Every few minutes, my computer loudly,
commandingly, announces, "You've got mail!"; a short while later, the postman
arrives with a similar, equally intrusive, declaration and I stifle the urge to
kill one or both of the messengers.
My granddaughter, Lexie, is partial
to raucous physical activity, so everything we do together is a noisome,
laugh-provoking romp. Home school and playtime co-mingle. Readin', writin' and 'rithmatic
go loudly hand-in-hand with card games, cookie cutter counting and kitty
chasing.
Thus far incapable of adjusting her outdoor voice into a more
decibel-appropriate indoor level, Lexie shouts in glee when nature calls,
demanding immediate ebullient praise and reward for successfully anticipating
potty time. Should Barney or Elmo be temporarily silenced by the mysterious
"disappearance" of the TV remote control, Lexie sets her toy versions of those
bothersome creatures to singing or giggling or telling the same stories
repeatedly until the batteries require recharging.
Seeking even more aural stimulation, Lexie invades the
cookware cabinet where, wooden spoons banging away, she enthusiastically makes
her own kind of music.
Well aware that I need and genuinely
appreciate an occasional spell of silent solitude, my daughter, Amanda, usually
wears ear buds while listening to her eclectic music collection. I certainly do
not object when she sings along because (Proud Mama Alert!) she has a beautiful,
classically trained voice and knows the lyrics of almost every song ever
performed in a Broadway or Hollywood musical.
Amanda also has a passion for a very sophisticated, massively
multi-player online role-playing game which features a plethora of eerie
authoritative voices, anguished screams and tortured moans that enhance the
game's excitement, but bombard any nearby ears.
And adding to the overall household cacophony are the shouts
of quarreling neighbors, gleeful squeals shrieked by kids at play, barks, howls
and caterwauling from area animals, and the omnipresent roars of
muffler-impaired cars and trucks zooming down our street. Welcome to my world.
I am going somewhere with this.
"Please let me have a little quiet time," I pray to the Creator in whom I
believe, before welcoming the oblivion of sleep. "Don't strike me deaf or
anything quite that dramatic, but maybe just a couple of minutes with no noise,
a few distraction-free seconds, the chance to be calm and reflective. Puh-leeze!"
And just like that—poof!—my wish is granted.
Warmly wedged snugly against my cheek
curls a fist-sized puff of silken fuzz and fur. Even in complete darkness, the
tiny mouth nuzzling my earlobe and a gentle kneading motion easily identifies my
pillow mate as baby Puggy, the most recent addition to our feline family.
With no provocation but the single stroke of my hand, Puggy
begins to purr. Soft. Low. A rhythmic rumble of simple contentment and affection
that quietly, effectively, soothes me toward slumber, far more potent than the
most powerful prescribed sleep aid.
In this personal precious moment, I add a postscript to the Creator. "Thank you
for giving me such a loud, raucous, happy, boisterous, rambunctious,
busy and noisy life. And even more thanks fur the power of purr-ayer!"
November 6, 2009 -
2nd Article
Lessons in Life:
When Enough Is Enough
(Ed's Note: All of
us at some point in life are unsatisfied with something about our life. Here is
a prescription to help overcome that feeling.)
Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together at the
airport. The daughter was about to board the aircraft for her flight back home.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the father said, "I love you,
and I wish you enough."
The daughter replied, "Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your
love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad."
They kissed and the daughter left. The father walked over to the window where I
was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not
to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say
good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"
"Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me
for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?"
"I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality
is—the next trip back will be for my funeral," he said.
"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask
what that means?"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other
generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused a moment and
looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more.
"When we said, 'I
wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with
just enough good things to sustain them." Then turning toward me, he shared the
following as if he were reciting it from memory:
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day
may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear
bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy
your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye."
He then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a
minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.
For the people you have known and loved for a lifetime, an
eternity is not long enough to forget them.
October 27, 2009
Guest Article:
Whatever Would Make You Think That Animals
Do Not Have Emotions, or Feelings?
(Ed's Note: Marc Bekoff is Professor Emeritus of Ecology
and Evolutionary Biology at the University of Colorado in Boulder, and is a
Fellow of the Animal Behavior Society and a former Guggenheim Fellow. He has
published more than 200 papers and 22 books, including a summary of Marc's
research on animal emotions titled The Emotional Lives of Animals: A Leading
Scientist Explores Animal Joy, Sorrow, and Empathy and Why They Matter
published in 2007 by New World Library.)
By Marc Bekoff
One of the hottest questions in the study of animal behavior is, "Do animals
have emotions?" And the simple and correct answer is, "Of course they do."
Just look at them, listen to them and, if you dare, smell the
odors that pour out when they interact with friends and foes. Look at their
faces, tails, bodies and, most importantly, their eyes. What we see on the
outside tells us a lot about what's happening inside animals' heads and hearts.
Animal emotions are not all that mysterious.
When I first began my studies three decades ago—asking the question, "What
does it feel like to be a dog or a wolf?"—researchers were almost all skeptics
who spent their time wondering if dogs, cats, chimpanzees and other animals felt
anything.
Since feelings do not fit under a microscope, these scientists
usually did not find any, and, as I like to say, I'm glad I wasn't their dog!
But now there are far fewer skeptics; prestigious scientific journals publish
essays on joy in rats, grief in elephants and empathy in mice and no one blinks.
The question of real importance is not whether animals have emotions, but why
animal emotions have evolved.
Simply put, emotions have evolved as adaptations in
numerous species. They serve as a social glue to bond animals with one another
and also catalyze and regulate a wide variety of social encounters among friends
and foes.
Emotions permit animals to behave adaptively and flexibly,
using various behavior patterns in a wide variety of venues. Research has shown
that mice are empathic rodents, but it turns out they are fun-loving as well.
We also read accounts of pleasure-seeking iguanas; amorous
whales; angry baboons; elephants who suffer from psychological flashbacks and
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD- elephants have a huge hippocampus, a brain
structure in the limbic system that is important in processing emotions);
grieving otters, magpies and donkeys; sentient fish; and a sighted dog who
serves as a seeing-eye dog for his blind canine buddy.
Today, the paradigm has shifted to such an extent that the burden of 'proof'
now falls on those who still argue that animals do not experience emotions.
Many researchers also recognize that we have to be anthropomorphic (attribute
human traits to animals) when we discuss animal emotions, but that if we do it
carefully, we can still give due consideration to the animals points of view.
No matter what we call it, researchers agree that animals and
humans share many traits, including emotions. Thus, we are not inserting
something human into animals; rather, we are identifying commonalities and then
using human language to communicate what we observe. Being anthropomorphic is
doing what is natural and necessary to understand animal emotions.
We might expect to find close, enduring and endearing emotional relationships
between members of the same species, but improbable relationships also occur
between animals of wildly different species, even between animals who are
normally predator and prey! Such is the case for Aochan, a rat snake, who
befriended a dwarf hamster named Gohan at Tokyo's Mutsugoro Okoku Zoo, and a
lioness in northern Kenya who adopted a baby oryx (usually an appetizer before a
larger meal) on five different occasions.
It is bad biology to argue against the existence of animal emotions. Scientific
research in evolutionary biology, cognitive ethology (the study of animal minds)
and social neuroscience support the view that numerous and diverse animals have
rich and deep emotional lives. (Here I focus on mammals, although there are data
showing that birds and perhaps fish experience various emotions as well as pain
and suffering.)
Charles Darwin's well-accepted ideas about evolutionary continuity that
differences among species are differences in degree rather than kind—argue
strongly for the presence of animal emotions, empathy and moral behavior.
Continuity allows us to connect the evolutionary dots among different species to
highlight similarities in evolved traits, including individual feelings and
passions. All mammals (including humans) share neuroanatomical structures, such
as the amygdala and neurochemical pathways in the limbic system that are
important for feelings.
Mirror neurons help explain feelings such as empathy. Research on these neurons
supports the notion that individuals can feel the feelings of others. Mirror
neurons allow us to understand another individual's behavior by imagining
ourselves performing the same behavior and then mentally projecting ourselves
into the other individual's shoes.
To what degree various species share this capability remains to be seen, but
there is compelling evidence that humans are not alone in possessing it. Diana
monkeys and chimpanzees help one another acquire food, and elephants comfort
others in distress.
Mirror neurons also help explain observations of rhesus monkeys who will not
accept food if another monkey suffers when they do so, and empathic mice who
react more strongly to painful stimuli after they observed other mice in pain.
The borders between "them" and "us" are murky and permeable, and the study of
animal emotions helps inform the big question of just who we are. Another big
question for which answers are revealed by studying animal passions is, "Can
animals be moral beings?"
In my development of the phenomenon that I call "wild
justice," I argue that they can. Many animals know right from wrong and live
according to a moral code.
When people tell me that they love animals because they are feeling beings
and then go on to abuse them, I tell them that I am glad they do not love me. I
often ask researchers who conduct invasive work with animals or people who work
on factory farms, "Would you do that to your dog?"
Some are startled to hear this question, but if people will do
something to their own dog that they do daily to other dogs or to mice, rats,
cats, monkeys, pigs, cows, elephants or chimpanzees, we need to know why. There
is no doubt whatsoever that, when it comes to what we can and cannot do to other
animals, it is their emotions that should inform our discussions and our actions
on their behalf.
Emotions are the gifts of our ancestors. We have them, and so do other animals.
We must never forget this. When it comes to animal welfare, we can always do
better. Most of the time, "good welfare" is not good enough.
October 25, 2009 -
2nd Article
Guest Article:
The Heart of the Collector Was Not For Sale
(Ed's Note: The
desire to possess something always brings with it a price. Sometimes the price
is too high. I have edited this story and re-written parts of it to make it
better.)
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art.
They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would
often sit together and admire the great works of art. When the Vietnam conflict
broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while
rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his
only son.
About a month
later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the father's door. A young
man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. The caller said, "Sir,
you do not know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He
saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck
him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love
for art."
The young man handed him a package. "I know this isn't much. I
am not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have
this."
When the father opened the package, it was a portrait of his son, painted by the
young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality
of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own
eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for
the picture.
"Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It
is a gift for you."
The father hung the portrait over his
mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of
his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.
The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his
paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great
paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.
On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel.
"We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this
picture?"
There was silence in the room. Then a voice in the back of the
room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one."
But the auctioneer persisted. "Will
somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"
Another, now angry voice shouted out, "We didn't come to see this painting. We
came to see the works of Van Gogh and Rembrandt. Get on with the real bids!"
But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll
take the son?'
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime
gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor
man, it was all he could afford.
"We have $10, who will bid $20?'
"Give it to him for $10. Let's see
the masters," another bidder said.
The crowd was becoming angry. They did not want the picture of the son. They
wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel with authority. "Going once, twice, sold to the
highest bidder for $10."
A man sitting in the second row
shouted, "Now let's get on with the real collection!"
The auctioneer quietly laid down his gavel. "I am sorry," he said, "the auction
is now over."
"But, what about the other paintings?" asked a dismayed
bidder.
"I am sorry," replied the auctioneer,
"but when I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret
stipulation in the owner's will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until
now. The stipulation was that the painting of the son would be auctioned first,
and whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the
paintings. And so the man who bought the picture of his son gets everything!"
Moral: Every now and then, greed and avarice do not work.
Sometimes, the least investment honestly given produces the greatest reward. In
all decisions, doing things with right thinking and right motives will pay the
greatest dividends. This was such a case.
October 24, 2009 -
2nd Article
Guest Article:
The Love of a Mother
(Ed's Note: This
article touched me. I hope it touches you the same way.)
After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest
rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.
One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on
the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he
knocked over the bird with a stick.
When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from
under their dead mother's wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of impending
disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered
them under her wings, instinctively knowing
that the toxic smoke would rise.
She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. Then the
blaze arrived and the heat had scorched her small body; the mother had remained
steadfast because she had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her
wings would live.
"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge."
(The Holy Bible, Psalm 91:4)
August 20, 2009
Do You Know the Rite of Passage for a Young
Cherokee Indian Boy?
(Ed's Note: You can
learn a lot from Native American Indians. Their care and protection of the
environment was centuries ahead of other people and cultures that inhabit the
United States. Here is another lesson to be learned from the Cherokee Indian
Nation.)
Do you know the legend of a Cherokee Indian boy's rite of
passage into manhood?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him, and leaves him alone. He
is required to sit on a stump the whole night, and not remove the blindfold
until the rays of the morning sunshine break through. He cannot cry out for help
to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a man. This may sound harsh, but
this is what they did.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each youth must come
into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified during
this experience. He can hear all kinds of noises. He imagines that wild beasts
must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. Despite
his fear and terror over what might happen, he sits stoically, never removing
his blindfold because he is told that it is the only way he can become a man.
Finally, after a horrific night the sun appears and he removes his blindfold. It
is then that he discovers that his father is sitting on the stump next to him.
His father had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. No
wonder that the American Indians showed such bravery in the face of danger,
especially when protecting themselves, their families, and their land.
Here is one teaching we might learn from this harrowing rite of passage: We
cannot see God, but he can see us. In truth, we walk by faith and not by sight,
for there is much to see and fear.
July 14, 2009
How to Get Happy and Stay Happy
(Ed's Note: This story reminds us of why the time to make good
memories is now, when we have the time and our families are young and together.)
A 92-year-old, legally-blind man moved into a nursing home. He
was small in stature but well-poised and proud. Despite his handicap, he was
fully dressed by 8 a.m., hair combed and shaved perfectly. His wife of 70 years
recently passed away, making the move necessary.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the
nursing home, he smiled
sweetly when told his room was ready. As he maneuvered his walker to the
elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet
sheets that had been hung on his window.
"I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an 8 year old
having just been presented with a new puppy. "Mr. Jones," I replied, "you
haven't seen your room."
"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied.
"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or
not does not depend on how the furniture is arranged; it does depend upon how I
arrange my mind. I have already decided to love it." He explained his philosophy
this way:
"It is a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have
a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the
parts of my body that no longer
work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
"Each day is a gift, and as long as my memory allows me, I
will focus on the new day
and all the happy memories I have stored away over the years. Old age is like a
bank account. You withdraw from it what you have deposited into it. I have made
it my business to deposit all of my happy memories so I can withdraw them at
will."
"What a wonderful attitude you have," I replied, realizing
that I was receiving a great lesson in living my own life. "What else can you
tell me about your philosophy?"
His reply was brief and enlightening:
"First, free your heart from hatred.
"Second, free your mind from worries.
"Third, live simply.
"Fourth, give more.
"Fifth, expect less."
May 21, 2009
Facing Down Your
Worst Threat – How to Handle the Schoolyard Bully
Copyright © 2009 Ed Bagley
It's a funny thing about the lessons
you learn in life. Not all of them are learned on the way to school. Some are
learned on the way home from school.
Take Mikey (pronounced Mike-ee), one
of my classmates. I wouldn't know what he looks like today, where he's at or
what he's doing. No Matter. I knew Mikey like the flat of my stomach in my
elementary school days.
Mikey used to get his kicks smacking me in the gut on the way
home from school. He thought it was fun to see me double over in pain, fall in a
mud puddle and slink home with defeated tears.
I was always taught not to punch
people out when they were punching you.
Like the Good Book says, turn the
other cheek and pray for survival. Hope the creep will leave before he beats you
senseless, or takes your life before you can try out for the Little League
baseball team.
Fortunately, I came home once too
often in this condition. My Grandpa Baker, God rest his soul, had better sense.
He sat me down one day and asked what was going on.
I told him, because you can tell a Grandpa a lot of things you
just wouldn't tell anyone else. I was raised by my maternal grandparents the
first 5 years of my life. After living more than 6 decades, I can say with
confidence and gratitude that everything good in life I learned from my
grandparents before my mother re-married. Grandpa had a sure-fire cure for Mikey.
He explained that as long as Mikey
was allowed to slug me in the gut, he would think this was proper behavior and
part of his daily schedule. Grandpa then gave me some advice and the next day I
set his plan in motion:
Mikey lived at the other end of the
block, so I went to Mikey's house to see if he was home. He was, so I invited
him out to play. Trust me when I say this was a first, I was never looking for
trouble; trouble had found me too many times. I could already see his gleam as
Mikey bounded down the steps, his eyes lit up like a Fourth of July firecracker.
When Mikey was square in front of me—I wound up and, without
warning, slugged him just as hard as I could in the stomach. Mikey was suddenly
speechless as well as not standing. Wherever I hit him, it was lethal.
In a few moments, he was screaming
like there was no tomorrow. I turned around and casually walked home as his
mother screamed at me in the distance.
A strange thing happened after that.
Mikey NEVER touched me again. Matter
of fact, we sort of became friends.
Both Mikey and I grew up a little that day. I learned how to
handle Mikey, and Mikey learned a new respect for me.
Prior to delivering my position on
Mikey's behavior to Mikey, I was as soft in the head as I was in the stomach.
The moral of this story is that some
people don't understand anything but brute force.
This is a fact of life that a lot of people have never learned. As a Vietnam Veteran, I can tell you
that if someone is pointing a weapon at you, you had better fire your weapon
first, and fire it accurately.
Even today—some 55 years after I smacked Mikey—I feel some
humanitarians and bleeding heart, far-left liberal sympathizers will never learn
some very basic lessons about people and what makes them tick.
Take a casual look at the American
system of criminal justice. Look at the victims, look at the suspects, look at
the lawyers, look at the courts, look at the convicted criminals, look at the
prisons, and look at the rehabilitation programs.
I'm just an average American, but you
don't have to be a law enforcement officer, a lawyer, a justice, a prison warden
or a victim to figure out that our present system makes about as much sense as a
soft-boiled egg.
We say we respect life, but our practice is to ignore the victims
of a crime and spend all of our time protecting the rights of the criminals, and
finding ways to try rehabilitating the criminals.
It never occurs to us that some of
the criminals are not worth the effort. Helping the families of victims would
produce more positive results.
March 17, 2009
Here Are Two
Examples
Sometimes Our Heroes Are Found Among the Most
Humble People
(Ed's Note: Sometimes
American heroes are people you would least expect. Here is an example of two
such heroes that you would never have guessed were genuine American heroes in
our lifetime.)
Some people have been a bit offended that the actor,
Lee Marvin, is buried in a grave alongside 3- and 4-star generals at Arlington
National Cemetery. His marker gives his name, rank (PVT) and service (USMC).
Nothing else.
Here's a guy who was only a famous movie star who served his
time, why the heck does he rate burial with these guys? Well, following is the
amazing answer:
I always liked Lee Marvin, but didn't know the extent of his Corps experiences.
In a time when many
Hollywood stars served their country in the armed forces often in rear echelon
posts where they were carefully protected—only to be trotted out to perform for
the cameras in war bond promotions—Lee Marvin was a genuine hero. He won the
Navy Cross at Iwo Jima. There is only one higher Naval award, The Medal of
Honor!
If that is a surprising comment on the true character of the
man, he credits his sergeant with an even greater show of bravery.
Dialog from "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson": His guest was Lee
Marvin. Johnny said, "Lee, I'll bet a lot of people are unaware that you were a
Marine in the initial landing at Iwo Jima, and that during the course of that
action you earned the Navy Cross and were severely wounded.
"Yeah, yeah... I got shot square in the bottom and they gave
me the Cross for securing a hot spot about halfway up Suribachi. Bad thing about
getting shot up on a mountain is guys getting shot hauling you down.
"But, Johnny, at Iwo I
served under the bravest man I ever knew. We both got the Cross the same day,
but what he did for his Cross made mine look cheap in comparison. That dumb guy
actually stood up on Red beach and directed his troops to move forward and get
the hell off the beach. Bullets flying by, with mortar rounds landing everywhere
and he stood there as the main target of gunfire so that he could get his men to
safety.
"He did this on more than one occasion because his men's
safety was more important than his own life.
"That Sergeant and I have been lifelong friends. When they
brought me off Suribachi we passed the Sergeant and he lit a smoke and passed it
to me, lying on my belly on the litter and said, 'Where'd they get you Lee?'
"Well Bob, if you make
it home before me, tell mom to sell the outhouse! Johnny, I'm not lying,
Sergeant Keeshan was the bravest man I ever knew. The sergeant's name is Bob
Keeshan. You and the world know him as Captain Kangaroo."
All of this comes to mind because Captain Kangaroo passed away
on January 23, 2004 at age 76, which is odd, because he always looked like he
was 76. Keeshan was born on June 27, 1927.
On another note, there was this wimpy little man (who just passed away) on PBS,
gentle and quiet. Mr. Rogers is another of those you would least suspect of
being anything but what he now portrays to our youth.
But Mr. Rogers was a
U.S. Navy Seal, combat-proven in Vietnam with more than 25 confirmed kills to
his name. He wore a long-sleeved sweater on television to cover the many tattoos
on his forearm and biceps. He was a master in small arms and hand-to-hand
combat, able to disarm or kill in a heartbeat.
After the war Mr. Rogers became an ordained Presbyterian
minister and therefore a pacifist. He vowed to never harm another human, and
also dedicated the rest of his life to helping lead children on the right path
in life. He hid away the tattoos and his past life and won our hearts with his
quiet wit and charm.
America's real heroes
don't flaunt what they did; they quietly go about their day-to-day lives, doing
what they do best. They earned our respect and the freedoms that we all enjoy.
Look around and see if you can find one of those heroes in your midst.
Often, they are the ones you'd least suspect, but would most
like to have on your side if anything ever happened.
For more interesting
reading, go to my Lessons in Life section and click the link on Family.
February 2, 2009
Remember When
To All Who Were Blessed Enough to Be Born Between 1930 and 1949
(Editor's Note: Some of us were lucky
to be born between 1930 and 1949. This article from the Internet, with some
editing and additions, tells you why.)
To all of you who have thus far survived despite being born in the 20-year
period between 1930 and 1949:
First, many of us survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank
while they were pregnant. Many of our mothers also took aspirin, ate blue cheese
dressing, tuna from a can and did not get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to
sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based
paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or
cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps rather than helmets
on our heads.
As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster
seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up truck on a warm
day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft
drink with 4 friends from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate
cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real
white sugar. And, we were not overweight. Why? Because we were always outside,
playing, that is why!
We would leave home in the morning
during the summer, play all day, and nothing hit the fan as long as we were back
in time for dinner. No one was able to reach us all day and it did not matter.
We were still OK.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps, and then ride down
the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a
few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We would spend hours at the neighborhood school's baseball diamond, dreaming
about coming to bat in the bottom of the 9th inning with the game on the line.
When the diamond was full, we would pair off and play two-man (a pitcher and a
batter) against the brick wall of the school. We used a rubber ball because it
would bounce back to the pitcher after balls and missed swings of the bat; it
also traveled a lot less far than a tennis ball, making it easier to chase down.
We did not have PlayStations,
Nintendos and X-boxes. There was no cable with 150 channels. There were no video
games, no video movies or DVDs, no surround-sound or CDs, no cell phones, no
personal computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, no iPods, no BlackBerries, no
BlueBerries or no StrawBerries. OK, I was kidding about the BlueBerries and
StrawBerries. We ate our blueberries and strawberries straight from the fruit
trees; no one got sick from chemicals.
We occupied our time with our friends. We went outside and found them.
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the
worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthday, made up games with sticks and
tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very
many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang
the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not
everyone made the team. Those who did not had to learn how to deal with
disappointment. Imagine that! We also learned responsibility, dependability,
accountability and if we wanted to buy baseball cards, cherry Cokes at the soda
fountain and candy, we learned how to mow yards, rake yards and clean up yards
and gardens to raise money to do so.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They
actually sided with the law! We learned quickly not to do anything that would
put us in jail, we learned to obey the law and stay out of jail by staying out
of trouble and out of harms way. We experienced freedom, failure, success and
responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
Those of us lucky enough to be born between 1930 and 1949 have turned out to
be some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever to walk the
face of the Earth. The past 50 years have been an explosion of our innovation
and new ideas.
You might want to share this with
others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the
government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.
Given the environment that was the good fortune of those who were born
between 1930 and 1949, you might want to consider how we honor God with this
quote by Jay Leno on his late-night talk show:
"With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with
the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to
take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
What God Said:
"I Recognized Abbey Right Away . . ."
November 22, 2008
(Editor's Note: There are few things in life that bring us such instant emotion
as our children. Our hearts start and stop by their safety, joys, sorrows and
hardships. Their every emotion can be ours. Perhaps this makes it easier to
understand how children feel the same way about their pets. This is a story
about Abbey and Meredith and Meredith's mother.)
Scene: Picture a 4-year-old girl hugging her dog in the
driveway.
Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month.
The day after she died, my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was
crying that when Abbey got to heaven, God wouldn't recognize her, and could we
send him a letter? I told her that I thought we could, so she dictated these
words:
"Dear God,
"Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and
is with you in heaven. I miss her very much.
"I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she
got sick.
"I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls
and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know
that she is my dog. I really miss her.
"Love, Meredith"
We put the letter in
an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven.
Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the
envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps on the front of the
envelope to get the letter all the way to Heaven. That afternoon, I drove
Meredith to the Post Office and watched her drop it in a letter box. A few days
later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet.
I told her that I was certain He had.
Yesterday, there was a
package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, "To Meredith", in an
unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it.
Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, "When a Pet Dies".
Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its
opened envelope.
On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey and Meredith and
this note:
"Dear Meredith,
"Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
"Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right
away.
"Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just
like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog.
"Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any
pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little
book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.
"Thank you for the
beautiful letter, and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it
to me.
"What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for
you.
"I send my blessings every day, and remember that I love you
very much.
"By the way, I'm easy to find. I am wherever there is love.
"Love, God"
(Editor's Note: If you
thought nothing was going on in the Dead Letter Section of your local post
office, you were wrong. It almost goes without saying that love, like
opportunity, is all around us, but sometimes we are so busy it passes us by. I
am posting this story about Abbey, Meredith and her mother for you because they
know just how wonderful life can be.)
Shop
Paula's Choice Now
________________
May 15, 2008
Social Commentary:
Should We Be Concerned About the Apparent
Violence of Our Children?
Copyright © 2008 Ed Bagley
Two incidents in the United States in recent days have caused me to wonder if we
should be more concerned about the apparent violence among our children.
In one incident, six teenage girls lured an apparent cheerleader squad member to
a friend's home and then brutally gang attacked her with a vicious 30-minute
beating in retaliation for some remarks she apparently made about them online.
Two teenage boys helped the beating along by serving as lookouts.
Upon her arrival, the victim was struck in the head several times and then had
her head slammed into a wall, knocking her unconscious. She awoke on a couch
surrounded by the six girls who proceeded, one at a time, to beat her senseless
while using several video cameras to record the beating for posting on YouTube
online.
The victim suffered a concussion, damage
to her left eye and left ear, and numerous bruises. The six female suspects were
all charged with felony battery and false imprisonment.
The county sheriff described the beating as a "pack mentality" with
"animalistic behavior". These are supposedly cheerleaders at a school and at
least the victim has been described as an honor student.
While all the facts are not in and the legal process will play itself out, it
does appear certain that the attackers were immature, self-centered,
self-absorbed young teenage girls, far more concerned about protecting their
image and stature (as sorry as it is) than acting like civilized members of
society.
This is an extreme and pathetic example of how some of our young girls resolve
their frustrations today. They beat each other up in their viciousness and
stupidity and then pride themselves on how clever they are to videotape the
event for posting on the Internet.
No amount of protestations by their
parents that they are bright, competent, sensitive, caring, mature young women
can erase their abhorrent and intolerable behavior. It goes without saying that
the two young men who served as lookouts are no better.
The second incident involved a college fast-pitch softball game wherein an
opposing player hit her first-ever home run with two runners on base and, when
passing and missing first base on her trip around the bases, she abruptly
stopped to go back and collapsed with a knee injury.
It was a close game, and if she could not touch all bases on her way home, she
would be declared out. She was injured so badly she could not even stand up. Her
teammates could not help her or she would be declared out. A pinch runner could
have been called in and the homer would then only count as a single.
In a stunning display of understanding, compassion and sportsmanship, the
opposing team's first baseman and shortstop came over and picked up the injured
player, carefully carrying her around the bases and lowering her at each base so
she could touch all of the bases and have her home run count.
"You deserve it," said the first baseman, "you hit it over the fence."
There was not a dry eye among the
injured player's teammates when she reached home base in the arms of her
opponents. The injured player's coach, a 14-year coaching veteran, called the
act of sportsmanship "unbelievable."
The injured player's team would go on to win the game 4-2, and eliminate the
opposing team, which lost its chance at a conference title and advancing to the
playoffs.
One of America's greatest sportswriters said it best: "When the One Great Scorer
comes to write against your name, He marks, not that you won or lost, but how
you played the game."
Both sets of young women in both incidents had a choice to make. The difference
between the two choices is clear: you can choose to be self-centered or
other-centered.
The low self-image, low self-esteem and
low self-confidence level of the six girls who brutally attacked their friend
with intent to harm her did not allow them to think of anyone else. Their
fragile egos were so harmed by some apparent criticism that they needed to beat
their teammate senseless and then post video on the Internet to recover any
sense of self-worth.
The fact that some of our youngsters today cannot handle adversity is
disturbing. While spending time behind bars before they were released into the
custody of their parents, they joked about whether they would make cheerleading
practice the next day. The fact that they apparently showed no remorse is even
more disturbing. It is one thing to make a terrible mistake; it is another to
think it is so funny it becomes evil.
The six teenage girls who brutally beat up their friend have some lessons in
life to learn, and perhaps their parents as well. Here are eight lessons they
could consider:
1) If you lack the will for change,
there is no one who can show you the way.
2) When you
blame others, you give up your power to change.
3) Your own thoughts and feelings
are the cause of all your problems, not the world or the people in it.
4) The day you start taking
responsibility for your actions, and become accountable for your actions, is the
day you will start to mature as an adult.
5) What you think about me is none of my business. What is most important is
what I think about myself.
6) Always remember that no matter what anyone is saying to you from the outside,
the most important conversation is the one you are having with yourself on the
inside.
7) Develop some character. Adversity does not build character, it reveals it.
8) Develop some integrity. Integrity is what you do in the dark when no one can
see you, and even more so when you stand to profit by doing the wrong thing.
Read my Social Commentary on key issues, including "Facts About the Second Most
Controversial Topic in America – The First Is Abortion", "So Why Should I
Subsidize Any Banks Because of Their Greed and Incompetence?", "A Disturbing
Trend in Our Society – The Lack of Trust in Our Institutions" and "Washington's
Hottest Political Issue Pits PI Attorneys and the Insurance Industry". Find
these in my Lessons in Life link.
November 24, 2006
Lessons in Life:
Become a Parent and Witness a Real Miracle
Copyright © 2006 Ed Bagley
I sat down to Thanksgiving dinner
yesterday and slowly looked around the table at my eight companions. A soft glow
of contentment came over me, and, like the good red-blooded male I am, I fought
back any thought of becoming more sentimental and sappy.
There was my wife Annette, the same woman I have
been married to for 33 years, a rare catch for any guy about to walk down the
aisle to a new life.
My 30-year-old daughter Kristin was there with her husband Tom (a good man I am
proud to call my second son) and our 1-year-old granddaughter Kira.
My 28-year-old son Eric was there with his wife Jenny (who seems like my second
daughter) and our 9-year-old grandson Eric, Junior and 2-year-old granddaughter
Emily.
Both of the granddaughters are cute as a
cute can be (and I will bet yours are too), and already they seem well on their
way to developing strong, independent personalities as women of the future.
Both of my children are doing very well relative to many struggling young
couples. They are reasonably happy, healthy, productive adults making a positive
impact on the people around them.
Life is good this Thanksgiving, and I realize that just sitting here, looking
around, could well be a miracle in itself.
It reminded me of the birth of my first
daughter, Kristin. Let me share with you what I wrote as a columnist for a
nationally-recognized weekly newspaper that I owned in the great Pacific
Northwest (it seems every bit as relevant today as it did in 1976):
Between the
Evergreens:
First Time I Had Seen a Miracle
By Ed Bagley
I have lived on this Earth 31 years, but Saturday night was the first time I had
ever seen a miracle.
It started in the dead of sleep at 5 a.m. For four hours I slept on like a
newborn baby. It was nothing unusual for me—the freight train that cuts
Patterson Lake in two could detour through our bedroom, and I would probably not
wake up.
Inside Annette—while I cut through zees like rewrite copy—a slow stirring began.
Soon it became sharp pains. Finally I woke at 9 a.m. to greet the new day and
found out Annette had been up at 5 wondering if her time had come. It had.
We checked into St. Peter Hospital at 11 a.m. and began an even longer wait.
Soon it was 1 p.m., then 3 and 5 and 7 and 9 and her labor continued. The baby
was not in the right position, and Annette spent a good deal of time figuring
out how to push when the contractions came.
It was a struggle we went through
together, her frank cries of anguish and my dispassionate encouragement. I could
not have become emotionally involved, or it would have been all over for me. I
wanted to see everything.
Finally monitors were put on her to play out the frequency of the
contractions and the frequency of the baby's heartbeat. A steady blip, blip,
blip played across the face of the machine and, to the right, numbers changed
every few seconds, telling the baby's heartbeat per minute. Eventually medicine
was used to help induce the contractions.
After 17½ hours, Annette went to the delivery room and I was right behind her.
Inside, as Dr. Krug exhibited a totally calm, professional demeanor, I watched
as the baby's head pushed into the new world.
Krug noted that the cord had a knot and
then, with one final push, Kristin Ann came into the world and nothing could
hold back Annette's elation and tears, and Kristin's cry for survival.
Kristin was bright and alert to the momentous occasion; she immediately
opened her eyes and let us know she was here—it must have been a tremendous
struggle for her too.
I sat stunned, not giving in to instant joy. I wanted to note, with the patience
and calm of a craftsman, every detail of this glorious moment.
Kristin looked blue and—had it not been for her crying—you might have thought
she was not alive. Her eyes, if not her voice, said otherwise. I felt like I
could have reached out and touched the Hand of God.
Later, in the nursery, I was astounded
that Kristin looked a healthy pink only minutes after her arrival. Her eyes were
still open and her mouth was constantly moving.
When Annette came out of the delivery room and the nurse wheeled her up to
the window, I was sure I saw Kristin smile. As if to test this observation
against reality, I asked the nurse if she had smiled. I could not believe it.
The nurse replied yes and then, when the nurse, Annette and I once again focused
on the wonder before us, Kristin Ann smiled again.
(Editor's note: Family is the
fundamental core unit of our culture, from the unity of many comes the strength
of the family to fulfill its destiny, with each generation experiencing the life
cycle, and the joys and challenges of realizing our individual and group
potential. The gift of life is only our first gift, it is up to us—as
individuals and as a family unit—to love and support each other as we develop
our unique gifts as children of God. Non-believers have some other ideas about
this same topic, I believe our universe is big enough to accommodate everyone.
December 2, 2007
Human or Nonhuman?
"The Most Significant Photograph I Have
Ever Seen During My Lifetime"
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
Every now and then I get an email from one of my clients or blog readers which
really gets my attention. This is one of those times. The subject of this email
circulating the Internet is titled "Picture of the Decade".
This photo is the most significant photograph I have ever seen during my
lifetime. I have no reason to think that the story and picture are not
authentic. I am going to share the email with you. Here it is as I received it:
A picture began circulating in November.
It should be "The Picture of the Year," or perhaps, "Picture of the Decade." It
won't be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published
it, you probably would never have seen it.
The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander
Armas, who is being operated on by surgeon named Joseph Bruner.
The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from
his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse
in Atlanta.
She knew of Dr. Bruner's remarkable
surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in
Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the
womb.
During the procedure, the
doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on
the baby. As Dr.Bruner completed the surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached
his tiny, but fully developed hand through the incision and firmly grasped the
surgeon's finger.
Dr.Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the
most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure
he was just frozen, totally immobile.
The photograph captures this amazing
event with perfect clarity. The editors titled the picture, "Hand of Hope." The
text explaining the picture begins, "The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel
Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr.
Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life."
Little Samuel's mother said they "wept for days" when they saw the picture.
She said, "The photo reminds us pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness,
it's about a little person." Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation
100 percent successful.
I am not showing the photograph on my
Blog, but if you want to see it, email me at:
edbagley@comcast.net
and I will forward the email and picture to you.
Give me your first and last name and put "Show Me the Picture" in the subject
line of your email. What you do with the email and photograph is up to you.
Editor's Note: Read my movie reviews on families: "A Christmas Story", "My Big
Fat Greek Wedding" and "Secondhand Lions". You will smile, laugh, cry and feel
better for the experience. Don't just experience life, live life!
January 31, 2007
Lessons in Life:
Who Has Had the Greatest Influence on Your Life,
and Why?
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
A lot of us remember our mother, and for
good reason.
Should someone pose the same question to me that I have asked of you, I would
never hesitate to talk about the most important person in my life, my mother.
I had two fathers, one that left when I was only a month old (he was not sure I
was his son, and so he divorced my mom), and one that arrived when I was 5 (he
had a 40-word vocabulary, 20 of which were cuss words). I did not realize until
much later that he did not know several foreign languages (he actually did know
cuss words in at least three languages).
It might be sad to admit that I have no
idea who my father is, but in the greater scheme of things, it does not really
matter all that much because he was never a part of my life.
My mother was.
Both of my fathers provided examples of what not to do when being a husband,
father and role model. Given the circumstances, one becomes what one sees, or
one makes it a point to never become what one sees. I chose to ignore the
fathers who never were.
My mother apparently had a somewhat rocky start in life, and was probably not
the best mother a child could have had, but she became a fighter, for herself
and her children.
She suffered through two of her
daughters preceding her in death, and often said "It is a great life if you can
stand to live it."
I was raised essentially by
my maternal grandparents for the first 5 years of my life, and everything good
that I first learned was from them.
After living more than six decades I can tell you without qualification that my
grandparents were the salt of the earth. They started out as farmers in Illinois
before the turn of the century and moved north to Michigan when farming became
impossible.
They were Midwest stock, always recognized and honored God, and whatever
homespun wisdom I have came from watching them very carefully, and always loving
them as they loved me.
That said, my mother was the biggest
backer that I ever had.
She loved me when I was not lovable, despite my faults and shortcomings. She
stood by me and fought for me when others would not. She encouraged me, financed
me, and believed in me.
My mother was a study in self-improvement, she actually worked her entire life
trying to become a better person, and spend the last 30 years of her life, in my
judgment, becoming close to an angel here on earth.
In the end, she was not self-centered or self-absorbed but naturally served
others with love and compassion. She became an incredible woman, and many were
saddened on the day of her passing.
She was not a movie star, she was not
famous, and she was not rich. She simply had the most important job in the
world, she was a mother.
She was the only one who could comfort her son in his most distraught times,
like when his first love in high school found another, and he thought his heart
would never again be whole.
There must have been 40 flower arrangements at her funeral, and one was a
beautiful (although artificial) purple and yellow arrangement. I brought that
arrangement back from Michigan with me 12 years ago, and to this day, it sits
beside me at my office in Tacoma (WA).
My mother is never more than an arm's reach away from me.
Shortly after her funeral I was passing
through a religious articles store that a Catholic order of nuns was closing
down. There I found a metal of Saint Mildred, an obscure Catholic saint from the
middle ages.
My mother was not Catholic, but her name was Mildred, and that metal has
been around my neck, day and night, for 12 years, in honor of her.
As a father and grandfather, my message to all mothers is to love your spouse,
love your children, love your family, and however mundane you feel your
existence may sometimes be, remember that your most important mission in life is
to be a mother.
There will be no greater calling, and
there will be no greater reward.
Your legacy is established,
and your love will not be forgotten by those you love and serve. They will love
you forever as you have loved them.
May God Bless You and Your Family this Wonderful Day,
(I love you Mom)
June 16,2007
Memories:
Remembering My Father
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
The following poem was sent to me by
Susan Chambers, one of my readers. The author of this poem is apparently
unknown, but I believe the message of the author is timeless.
When coming of age as a youth, we
seem to have all of the answers to all of the problems at hand, and cannot
understand why anyone cannot figure out the same answers as they always seem
clear as a bell when young. It is in part why the young always press for
change, and why they always seem to be recruited as protestors by those who want
to effect change, but not be noticed.
I too once knew all of the answers,
but as a senior citizen I now recognize that the older I get the less I know.
It is now possible for me to enjoy a senior moment, and reading this poem would
be one. Some of us, like me, were really raised by their grandparents early in
life, and this poem could just as easily be about grandfathers as fathers.
Remembering My Father
When I was . . .
4 years old: My daddy can do anything.
5 years old: My daddy knows a whole lot.
6 years old: My dad is smarter than your
dad.
8 years old: My dad doesn't know exactly
everything.
10 years old: In the olden days, when my
dad grew up, things were sure different.
12 years old: Oh, well, naturally, Dad
doesn't know anything about that. He is
too old to remember his childhood.
14 years old: Don't pay any attention to
my dad. He is so old-fashioned.
21 years old: Him? My Lord, he's
hopelessly out of date.
25 years old: Dad knows about it, but then
he should, because he has been around so long.
30 years old: Maybe we should ask Dad what
he thinks. After all, he's had a lot of
experience.
35 years old: I'm not doing a single thing
until I talk to Dad.
40 years old: I wonder how Dad would have
handled it. He was so wise.
45 years old: I'd give anything if Dad
were here now so I could talk this over with
him.
50 years old: It's too bad I didn't
appreciate sooner just how smart Dad really was.
I could have learned a lot more from him.
Author Unknown
May 9, 2007
Lessons in Life:
If You
Think as a Parent that Little League Baseball
Does Not Teach Important Survival Skills, Think
Again
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
Sometimes as parents we forget how simple and
subtle the lessons in life can be.
I was reminded of this yesterday afternoon when
I heard the cheering of youngsters playing a
Little League baseball game in the nearby city
park. It is amazing when the noise of kids at
play can carry the sound a half-block away and
into the open window of your living room.
Little League baseball games can get noisy. Kids
are excited when the bases are loaded and their
next hitter sends a screaming line drive into
the outfield.
They know that the outfielder will likely boot
the ball, and as it gets by him on its merry way
to the fence, all three players on base will
score and the hitter will probably come home
safe with an inside-the-park home run and 4
ribbies (runs batted in) to his credit.
Ah,
baseball, spring is in the air and summer is
approaching.
The pure fun of sport is so normal and so
natural to our human experience.
I read a study once that interviewed hardened
criminals spending life in prison for capital
crimes, such as murder. A psychologist asked
inmates what they missed most now that they were
spending the rest of their lives behind bars
without possibility of parole.
The answer stunned me, and it should stun you
too. What they missed most was not their
girlfriend, or sex, or drinking, or drugging, or
gambling; it was the sound of kids playing.
Perhaps the one, real, positive memory they have
of their life was when they were a child
playing.
These
are two compelling extremes: children at play
without a care in the world, and incarcerated
criminals who are burdened with the reality that
they will never again be free to play.
With all of the violence we are now
seeing with youngsters who solve their supposed
"problems" by shooting their perceived "enemies"
(many times friends and family), I am reminded
that some of our children today seem less able
to cope with adversity, and even less so with
patience.
How is it that they clearly lack coping skills
and patience, two necessary traits for survival
as an adult?
It will take someone a lot smarter than me to
give you the right answer to this question.
I will
leave that answer to what some educated
professionals who study psychology think.
In the meantime, I choose not to tell you
what I think, but to share with you what I know.
Here is one thing about Little League baseball
that is being taught by some parents and some
leaders in some organizations that is really not
worth teaching, and that is this:
Certain organizations have adopted the misguided
practice of rewarding every kid on each team
regardless of their effort or performance. In
other words, a team can lose every game all year
and each kid gets a trophy for participating, a
team picture and his or her own baseball card
with their mug on it.
Apparently some parents do not want to hurt
their child's feelings even though the child
makes little effort, is clearly incompetent at
improving on any skills of the game, does not
understand the game, and really could care less.
I doubt the parents in the example given
have a clue about the lessons they are teaching
their children by insisting on this foolish
practice of making their child feel like he or
she has accomplished something.
First, they are encouraging mediocrity by
rewarding nothingness. Practice this stupidity a
few more generations and we will have our
children thinking they can show up to work as an
adult, do nothing and get paid for their lack of
skills, effort and production.
Second,
they are rewarding children for having no
concept of goal-setting and achieving goals. The
parents are not encouraging any concept of
self-improvement and providing no incentive to
do so.
Third, they are teaching no learning skills
in how to cope with failure, and not providing a
shred of understanding about the function of
failing. Losers would be astonished to learn
that successful people have failed more than
losers ever thought of failing.
One of the big differences between losers and
winners in the game of life is that when winners
fail, they get right back up, dust themselves
off, learn from the experience, and try again.
Fourth,
they devalue the kids who do work hard, fail and
then succeed by rewarding a bunch of kids
who haul off and do nothing, learn nothing, and
have no sense of real accomplishment.
I
remember going door-to-door as a 9-year-old kid,
looking for a sponsor for a baseball team I was
putting together. I instinctively knew kids
would want to be on my team if I could get them
a free baseball hat and shirt; we would then
look like a real team. I had played on a team
that had nothing; we could not afford uniforms,
we were lucky to have a glove or borrow a glove.
I found that sponsor, a business called
Jewell Realty in Flint, Michigan. I found a
sponsor because I was looking for a sponsor. The
people that owned that business were impressed
that a 9-year-old kid would have the guts to
walk all over town and ask businesses to sponsor
his rag-tag team. I put up with the nos and
getting kicked out of places because I wanted it
that bad.
The year was 1953 and we were terrible; we lost
more games than we won. We were put upon, put
down, slapped around and got the crap kicked out
of us, but I never quit, and I made sure my
teammates didn't quit either. When someone quit
trying, I kicked him off the team and found
someone else.
Two
years later we won the league championship, and
when we did, I was surrounded by winners who had
become my friends. I did not need my parents to
do this for me, I did not need some meddling
adult or juvenile counselor to do this for me, I
needed to do this for myself.
When I got the guys together and we took
that trophy down to Jewell Realty, we all shared
in the excitement of being winners. Later that
summer I would walk by Jewell Realty, see that
trophy in the window, and know who I was and
what I had become: a winner. Jewell Realty did
not win that trophy, I won that trophy, and I
knew what it would take to win another.
Our parents never saw us play, they were too
busy working.
If someone had come around after that first
season and given each of us a trophy for losing,
we would not have accepted it. Think about it:
the message they would have been sending us was
we think you are so bad that you could never win
a title, so in order to sooth your precious
little feelings, here is a trophy for being a
loser.
I think
I would have spit in their face. I was that
competitive. I might have been a 9 year old but
I did not need some meddling parent setting
goals for me that I thought were so low I would
trip on them walking across the baseball
diamond.
If you think a 9-year-old child cannot have
some dignity, you are dead wrong, and have
probably been wrong about a lot of things in
your life.
Once we won that championship and experienced
our moment of victory, you could have taken that
trophy away and it would not have mattered. I
knew what I had sacrificed to win that trophy,
and after all of the blood, sweat and tears,
nothing any stupid parent or adult could do
would have made me feel less about myself. I
knew I was a winner, and I wasn't going to
settle for anything less.
Parents,
if you do not understand one thing in raising
your children, understand this: if your child
goes through his or her entire schooling period
(kindergarten through high school graduation)
and never experiences real success at anything
at least one day is his or her life, your child
will be handicapped for life. Nothing could be
more arcane, stupid and bovine.
Don't you dare try to prevent your child
from failing. Let them try and when they fail,
pick them up, dust them off, and encourage them
to try again. It is in failing that we learn to
succeed.
If you as a parent cannot be a winner in your
own pathetic life, if all you have to offer is
whining and complaining about this and that, and
bemoaning how your child is treated, then get
the hell out of the way and let your child fail
to ultimately win on his own.
Take a
snapshot of two pictures.
In one a child is given a trophy, a team
photo and a baseball card with his picture on it
featuring a loser who accomplished nothing. In
the other snapshot, a child is given only a
trophy, or the team is given one trophy to
admire, because they have worked their butts
off, improved their skills, played their hearts
out, taken risks and won a league title. Which
is your child?
Any child who has worked to get to the top of
the mountain, and experiences the sheer joy of
competing and winning, is someone who will go
much farther in life.
I can tell you from experience in hiring that
there is an incredible correlation between
having athletic success at the high school or
college level and success later in life. The
reason is simple: winners win and losers don't.
Do not
misunderstand what I am sharing here. It is not
that you cannot win bigger and better in life
unless you are a successful athlete in your
youth, it is that you need to have a sense of
accomplishment and recognition doing something
that takes hard work, dedication, effort and
goals. It could be singing, it could be acting,
it could be playing a musical instrument;
suffice to say any activity that allows you to
fail, learn, improve and succeed over a period
of time.
It certainly helps to have a strong father
in the house to help teach his children what it
is to be a winner, to learn coping skills,
patience, hard work, dedication, effort,
improvement and success. A strong single mother
can do the same.
Do not play patty-cake with your children when
they are 9 years old, do not knowingly set them
up in life to fail, let them struggle and
succeed. If you do not do this someday they will
be adult and not know how to act when they are
put down, put upon, made fun of and beaten up
emotionally. They will figure it out if you do
not protect them and their feelings so much they
become helpless and inept.
They
will learn to cope and be stronger for the
experience. When they reach adulthood they will
be able to dismiss people around them who have
mediocre minds and are mental midgets. They will
be polite as they treat these losers as
irrelevant (which they are) and be unaffected by
their negative presence.
Then they will move on quickly to be with
the winners. It is the losers who are left
standing alone and wondering why.
Do not play to participate, play to win. It is
not winning that is the be all to end all, it is
that in the process of winning we learn
important skills that make us much more
effective in playing and winning in the game of
life. After all, life is not a resting place;
life is a testing place, it is now and will
continue to be as long as you live.
A wise man said it and it bears repeating here:
When everyone is somebody then no one's anybody.
December 2, 2006
Lessons in Life:
The Real
Heroes of Our Time Are Those Who Serve Others
Copyright © 2006 Ed Bagley
A
friend of mine recently suffered the loss of her
father. I bought her a sympathy card and then
felt that at such a difficult time in her life
it was so inadequate. So I wrote her the
following letter and share it with you because I
believe my message to her is timeless in a time
of need.
My Dearest Mary,
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your
father.
Words on
a card are so inadequate to express how we feel
when describing a tragedy. There is such a sting
when our heart breaks from sadness, and we sense
that we will never be the same. We seek
understanding and sometimes find ourselves alone
with our thoughts when we ask: Who could have
meant so much to us as the one we have lost?
I find it difficult to accept the notion
that death is part of life. One seems so alive
and real, and the other so quiet and distant. I
would be totally lost in accepting what is so
natural and normal were it not for the fact that
my life journey is also my faith journey.
Thank
goodness that God is in my life. He stands with
us at our greatest hour of need. God brings us
three vital elements when tragedy strikes our
life:
1) He is with us when we are with Him.
2) He loves us and comforts us as no one else
can.
3) He takes us to a better place.
I found
I could bridge the gap between life and death,
and death and life, through my faith walk with
understanding and wisdom. Understanding comes
from developing a gentle heart, and maturity in
living.
Wisdom, however, does not come from
learning. One could read every book in every
library in the world and still not have wisdom.
Wisdom only comes from God, and we must ask Him
for it. It is through the grace of God that we
enjoy wisdom, He freely gives it to us, but we
must ask Him for it.
It has
been 11 years since I flew back to Michigan to
be a caregiver for my mother during her final
days. She displayed such courage and grace when
her time to pass had come. It was a beautiful
example of modeling at a critical time for both
of us.
I was very close to my mother. You have
perhaps seen the medal I wear around my neck.
Many who see it think that it is a medal of
Mary. It is a medal of St. Mildred, an obscure
saint who lived in England during the early
Middle Ages and died around the year 700.
My mother Mildred was not Catholic, she was
Lutheran. She had lived a somewhat turbulent
life early on, and had her only two daughters
(and my only two sisters) precede her in death.
She lived her later life as the very best person
she could be.
I wear
the medal to honor her, but the truth is that I
want her to know that she is in my heart and
will always have a special place in my heart.
I believe that God is at work in the world
today, and I choose to believe that my mother is
as well. When I was a child, I was raised by my
grandparents who taught me my prayers in German.
When I said the words "In the name of the
Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost" I wondered
how safe I might be.
Today we say the "Holy Spirit" and for years I
wondered who or what was the Holy Spirit. Now I
understand that the Holy Spirit is manifested in
the love we show to one another.
The real
heroes of our time are not the rich, the famous,
the rock stars, or the professional athletes.
The real heroes are the people who reach out to
others with loving kindness.
It is an act very similar to integrity, it
is what you do in the dark when no one is
looking, and especially when you do it without
personal gain or glory. My mother was one of
those heroes.
After my mother died I flew back home to
Washington and something amazing happened. When
I returned to work, I felt her presence about me
every day for two weeks. It was as if she was
reaching out to comfort me.
It
seemed as if by the grace of God she had been
lifted up to do His work as a guardian angel
here on Earth, and by the grace of God had been
given a two-week gift to minister to anyone of
her choice before she began her new life.
After 14 days I felt her leave, but I was
overcome with the knowledge that God is indeed
at work in the world through His minions of
believers.
I was
immediately reminded of my grandfather and
namesake, Edward Louis Baker, a self-taught man
of integrity, decency and honesty who lived his
life as a happy man, secure in his final
destiny.
May God continue to bless you, your father,
and your family. You, your father, and your
family are in my prayers.
Ed
April 22, 2007
Lessons in Life:
Kids Do
Say the Darnedest Things, and Here Is My
Favorite Fish Story
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
Kids
say and do the darnedest things. They also learn
lessons we would never think about. Here are
some examples from The Forbes Book of Business
Quotation:
An 8-year-old's discovery: I've learned that my
daddy can say a lot of words that I can't.
A 14-year-old's discovery: I've learned that
it's easier to stay out of trouble than to get
out of trouble.
A 6-year-old's discovery: I've learned that when
you put a June bug down a girl's dress, she goes
crazy.
A 7-year-old's discovery: I've learned that you
can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of
milk.
A 6-year-old's discovery: I've learned that if
you spread the peas out on your plate, it looks
like you ate more.
A 29-year-old's discovery: I've learned that
people without children always know just how you
should raise yours.
Here is
my favorite fish story from the newsletter of
the Rotary Club of Lancaster (TX), USA:
A third-grade class was learning about
whales when the teacher related the story of
Jonah and the whale. At the end of the story,
the teacher explained that it would physically
impossible for the whale to swallow a human
being because whales have very small throats.
One little girl in the class said that because
the story was in the Bible, she believed it was
true.
"When I get to heaven," the little girl said, "I
will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to that
other place?"
The little girl replied, "Then you can ask him."
April 6, 2007
A Very Sad Day
Director
Bob Clark of "A Christmas Story" and His Son Die
in a Senseless Accident
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
I
was so sorry to go online today and learn of the
death of Bob Clark and his son in a senseless
auto accident in Los Angeles.
Clark, 67, and his son Ariel Hanrath-Clark, 22,
were driving in Pacific Palisades when their
Infiniti collided head-on with a vehicle that a
drunken driver steered into the wrong lane,
according to police and the filmmaker's
assistant.
The accident happened at approximately 2:30 a.m.
Wednesday, about a half-hour after the bars
closed. To add insult to a tragic, senseless act
that took two lives, the driver of the
out-of-control vehicle was not only under the
influence of alcohol but was also driving
without a license.
The 24-year-old driver of the vehicle remained
hospitalized and will be booked for
investigation of gross vehicular manslaughter
after being treated.
My
heartfelt condolences go out to Bob Clark's
family and friends.
Bob Clark is best known for the holiday
classic "A Christmas Story" which happens to be
my all-time favorite movie. The film captures
the Christmas wish of a 9-year-old boy who wants
an official Red Ryder carbine-action model air
rifle.
A Christmas story is told from the view of the
Ralphie Parker, the boy in the story.
It is a sad day when anyone is killed by a
drunken driver, but even more so when someone as
creative as Bob Clark is taken from us. I can
write no more on this.
Following is my original movie review of A
Christmas Story. I publish it as a tribute to
Bob Clark, his family, and those who knew him
and loved his work.
December 25, 2006
Movie
Review:
One
of the Best Movies Ever Tells of a Boy's Perfect
Christmas Gift
Copyright © 2006 Ed Bagley
A
Christmas Story – 4 Stars (Excellent)
A Christmas
Story is arguably the best Christmas movie
ever.
There is no
doubt that the 1984 version of Charles
Dickens' A Christmas Carol starring George
C. Scott as Ebenezer Scrooge is a worthy
contender for the honor. Since I have not
seen Fanny & Alexander (1983), I remain a
huge fan of A Christmas Story.
Can there be
anything greater than Santa coming to your
house on Christmas Eve with the perfect gift
of your choice? I think not, especially if
it is a genuine Red Ryder 200-Shot,
Carbine-Action BB Gun for a 9-year-old named
Ralphie living in Northern Indiana in the
1940s.
Imagine
Ralphie's dismay when his mother, his
teacher at Warren G. Harding Elementary
School and ultimately even Santa Claus at
Higby's Department Store tell him "you'll
shoot your eye out."
A
Christmas Story is about much more than
whether Ralphie gets the Red Ryder BB Gun he
covets. It is about a Midwest family with
two boys, Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) and
Randy (Ian Petrella), who encounter the
normal struggles of growing up.
Ralphie and
his friend Schwartz (R. D. Robb) badger
their friend Flick (Scott Schwartz, not to
be confused with R. D. Robb who plays the
role of Schwartz) into pressing his tongue
against a steel post to see if it will
stick.
Flick, who
realizes that he might be wrong in saying
his tongue will not stick, is left with no
alternative when Schwartz whips a "triple
dog dare" on him. To save face, Flick learns
a very hard lesson and this film gets some
great footage in the process.
Both
the boys and the girls watching this drama
unfold are horrified at the result and the
boys have no problem abandoning Flick when
the school bell rings. Flick is left frozen
to the post. When their teacher Mrs. Shields
(Tedde Moore) confronts them about who is
responsible for Flick's condition, they clam
up, realizing "it's always better not to get
caught."
All of the
boys also must deal with the terrifying Scut
Farcas (Zack Ward) and Grover Dill (Yano
Anaya), the schoolyard bullies. They get
pummeled on a daily basis and act like
cowards until Ralphie sees Santa at Higby's
and gets another dose of "You'll shoot your
eye out, kid."
Ralphie is so
agitated with rejection over his Christmas
wish that when he is next confronted by the
bullies he flies into a fit of genuine rage,
charging the much larger Scut knocking him
down and pounding him repeatedly in the
face. Scut ends up with a bloody face and
100 times the embarrassment of being beat
up. This event would forever after be known
as the Scut Farcas Affair.
I
love A Christmas Story because the exact
same thing happened to me growing up in the
Midwest. I was small for my age and was
constantly picked on by bullies until I
learned how to fight back no matter what the
odds.
When the
Parker family goes out to buy their
Christmas tree they encounter a flat tire on
the way home. Mrs. Parker (Melinda Dillon)
encourages Ralphie to help his father
(Darren McGavin) fix the flat.
Ralphie
manages to lose the lug nuts during the tire
change, and, in fit of fright, utters the
dreaded F-word to the shock of his parents.
Mrs. Parker demands to know where he learned
the word and Ralphie, desperate to come up
with an acceptable choice shoots out a name
of a friend.
Ralphie, of course, has heard his father
cuss time and again, quoting that his father
could "weave a tapestry of obscenities that
is still hanging in space over Lake
Michigan." When their furnace in the
basement acts up, Ralphie says "my father
dabbled in profanities like an artist
dabbles in oils."
This cussing
incident so resonates with me because I grew
up in the same kind of environment. I often
believed my stepfather had a 200-word
vocabulary and at least 50 of those words
were cuss words. I probably heard the F-word
10,000 times before I graduated from high
school. I used to tell my friends I could
speak 5 foreign languages if I got mad
enough.
A
Christmas Story is loaded with other real
life events, including Ralphie's day-dream
about being blind from having to suck on
soap for cussing, his father winning a prize
lamp shaped like a woman's leg that he
displays in their living room window for all
to see, and the secret decoder Ralphie gets
by eating Ovaltine for breakfast.
There is also
Aunt Clara's gift of a pink bunny costume
that Ralphie is forced to model on Christmas
morning, the neighbor's dogs getting into
the house and eating their Christmas turkey,
and the surprise on Christmas morning after
all of the gifts are opened.
A Christmas
Story is based on Jean Shepherd's book In
God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash. Shepherd
does a superb job of narrating this film
about his childhood. The film is so well
done, so authentic to its 1940s time period,
so believable and likeable that it gets my
excellent rating without qualification.
Director Bob Clark is uncanny in his ability
to orchestrate this timeless story. Peter
Billingsley is a 13-year-old actor playing
the role of 9-year-old Ralphie and does so
with incredible facial expressions. Young
Billingsley is in the moment and totally
professional.
A Christmas
Story, a low budget film that was not
expected to do well, was released just
before Thanksgiving in 1983. By Christmas
the film had been pulled from theaters
because it was thought to have been "played
out." It was only because of complaints from
moviegoers that it was brought back to life.
The film
celebrated its 20th anniversary in 2003 with
release of a two-disc special edition. There
are fans all over the world that treasure A
Christmas Story and will not let it die, and
I am one of them. I have lived so many parts
of A Christmas Story that I feel it could
also have been the story of thousands of
other young boys growing up in the Midwest.
A
Christmas Story is on my personal Top 10
all-time list of favorite movies because it
exemplifies family values and the joy of
living those few precious moments that
define us for the rest of our lives.
A Christmas
Story is an amazing film that teaches some
of life’s great lessons, including
determination, courage, patience, struggle,
victory, self-esteem, love, acceptance and
belonging. This is truly a classic movie
that only those who have lived these
experiences will appreciate the most. I am
blessed to be one of those people.
July 15, 2007
The Subject: Absent
Fathers
Fathering a Child and Leaving Does Not
Make You a Man, Raising the Child Does
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
When a young man is horny and looking for satisfaction, his first thought is not
about getting a girl pregnant and raising the child, in or out of wedlock.
When a young girl is needy for attention and approval, her first thought is not
about getting pregnant and raising her child without the father of the child.
When the needy young man meets the needy young woman a lot can happen that will
forever affect the life of both parents and the child they carelessly created as
emotions overruled their thought process and good sense.
This everyday occurrence is endemic and
problematic in America's black community.
There are millions of black men who act responsibly in their relationships
and responsibilities as a father and husband in their marriage, yet they get
scant notice for their courage and commitment to do the right thing.
In far too many cases, they have been raised by a single mother who was
abandoned the instant the father of the baby found out she was pregnant.
Senator and presidential candidate Barack Obama is speaking out to the black
community about the issue of absent fathers.
Washington Post columinist Eugene
Robinson detailed Obama's straightforward message and call to accountability in
a recent article.
Robinson quotes Obama as saying "there are a lot of men out there who need
to stop acting like boys; who need to realize that responsibility does not end
at conception; who need to know that what makes you a man is not the ability to
have a child but the courage to raise one."
Obama also said that "Many black men simply cannot afford to raise a family—and
too many have made the sad choice not to."
I personally believe that a high
percentage of those same men who cannot afford to raise a family do manage to do
well enough to support drinking and/or drug habits, perhaps illegally in some
cases and simply as a matter of irresponsibility and neglect in other cases.
Obama's men-acting-like-boys speech was given in a black church in South
Carolina, an early-primary state where half of the Democratic voters are African
American.
In a telephone interview with Robinson, Obama chose his words carefully when he
said "The key to having this conversation constructively is to realize that
there's really no excuse for not behaving responsibly toward our children."
I believe Obama's view on absent fathers is correct, productive and healthy.
Obama should know as he grew up without
his father. Obama acknowledged that his mother—struggling to raise two children
as a single parent—at times needed to rely on food stamps to make it through the
month.
As with any single parent, Obama's mother needed courage, determination,
dedication and tremendous commitment to get the job done, all qualities that
Obama's father apparently lacked.
Obama rose above his circumstances to become a United States senator and
presidential candidate. No wonder his appeal is currently so great among
Americans who appreciate a voice for change.
As a white American I hope Obama's
message to the black community becomes a catalyst for change for those black men
who most need to listen, learn and leave their errant ways behind and take
responsibility for their actions.
They have only to look to the single mothers they abandoned to learn how to
become a "real man" and take their rightful place in the family as a leader
rather than as a worthless excuse for a father.
In doing so they will rise above a long line of absent fathers of all colors who
abandon their children and responsibilities for a temporary sexual act.
December 16, 2006
Blog Almost Misses
Deadline
69 MPH Windstorm (and Rain)
Wallops Western Washington
Copyright © 2006 Ed Bagley
Life a thief in the night,
everything went dark and unseen at 11:47 p.m. Thursday (12-14-06).
I was in the middle of Saturday's fresh, original entry for Ed Bagley's Blog
when it happened. A house that was well lit and humming within minutes took on
the feeling of a damp, pitch black cave.
We were advised that a horrific windstorm was coming with rain, and we reacted
like most people do: Gee, I wonder if our power will go out? Did we look for
flashlights? No. Did we think about water and provisions in case of a real
disaster (that would be an earthquake in the middle of a horrific windstorm with
rain)? No.
We continued with our usual routine,
that is, until the howling wind took out a tree or telephone pole somewhere
near, and, bam (like Emeril says on the Food Channel), the lights failed. No
wonder.
What hit Western Washington in the Great Pacific Northwest was winds up to
69 mph at nearby McChord Air Force Base and the Defense Department's sprawling
Fort Lewis Army Base, home of I Corps, the military's answer to instant
readiness for an attack on our country's West Coast.
It was McChord AFB, you may recall, that flew nearly every GI that went to
Southeast Asia during World War II, the Korean War and the Vietnam Conflict. Our
area remains a military stronghold that grows year by year as other military
installations are being shut down.
This windstorm was a doozy, like Snoopy
sitting atop his dog house in the famous Peanuts cartoon strip writing the
beginning of his novel, "It was a dark and stormy night."
The house around the corner had a giant, old growth evergreen come crashing
down into the bedroom. The house next door to it had another giant evergreen
collapse into its front door entry and through the center of the house. In
another community a house was literally spilt in half by a powerful evergreen.
We are a half block from Wonderwood Park, the largest city park in Lacey, a city
of 32,000+ that is on the grow as cities go. In our upstairs bedroom we could
hear the "boom" of a transformer exploding in the night, much like the Army
soldiers from Fort Lewis sending off rounds from a 120-millimeter howitzer at
the Yelm firing range many miles down the road (a common sound in Lacey).
When we heard the crack of trees in the
nearby park breaking, it was all too scary so we picked up our bedding and
headed downstairs to the basement rec room. It seemed like a good move to take
the lower ground in this case rather than the higher ground, which is usually
preferably in life. Our house is surrounded by giant evergreens.
About 4 a.m. Friday morning, the cement floor felt no softer despite the
carpeting and cushioning from our living room futon. The wind seemed to have
died down somewhat, so we headed back upstairs to sleep, but it was certainly
anything but restful.
The next morning the fallen trees and tangled power lines snarled traffic,
closed schools and businesses and, with freezing weather here to stay for at
least another day, raised concerns for thousands of people without heat and
phone service.
As a senior citizen I still have a land line with phone service in power
outages, but I remain amazed at the number of younger people who operate solely
with cordless phones which are useless in a power failure. Apparently as many as
30% of our population now use only cell phones that are not always reliable.
The walloping winds in Western
Washington (I love alliteration) left one million of us without power. That
would have been the same one million people who were looking for an open
restaurant Friday morning for breakfast.
What few restaurants were open because of generators or restored power had
their busiest day of the year. Lines at every fast food place that was open were
literally lined up 20 cars deep and counting. By evening the deli counter at
Albertson's, one of the few grocery stores open, had a line of people 15 deep
waiting for fresh chicken to pop out of the deep fat fryers.
A cold but anxious calm filled the air
as the customers saw cooked chickens flying over the counter as fast as deli
workers could take them out of the giant rotisserie and put them in plastic
containers for easy carrying.
Gas stations were flooded with customers who did not want to get caught with
empty gas tanks if the power outage lasted more than 24 hours. In some other
communities the police had to be called out to maintain control of rambunctious
motorists trying to cut into line for gasoline (some people in our society are
rights takers rather than rights observers).
Our streets were jammed with more
traffic than anytime during the 30-year history of the city. People were on the
move as there was nothing to do at home in the dark and cold.
Thankfully, my daughter and her husband Tom (and our 16-month-old
granddaughter Kira) invited us to sleep over on Friday night.
Accommodations were really great as they have a complete bathroom with their
guest room. We watched a movie in their home theater while munching on popcorn
and enjoyed a family sleepover. We are so blessed that both of our children and
their families are within 20 minutes of us.
And so I was able to return today with
power restored and an Internet connection that allows me to generate this fresh,
original article without interruption since the inception of my blog.
That is important to me because I do not want to let down my loyal readers,
who, through this experience, are up to date on the weather picture in Western
Washington, home of Ed Bagley's Blog.
This occurrence may not mean much in Kansas or Florida or across the ocean, but
then people read my blog as much for the writing as the content. The truth is I
enjoy writing my blog probably more than you do reading it.
Ah, life is good again as the winds moved on and the calm returns.
Relationships:
July 30, 2010
In What Circumstances Do People Have Sufficient Food and Yet Starve to
Death?
A Holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I
would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'
The Lord led the holy man to two doors.
He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.
In the middle of the room was a large round table.
In the middle of the table was a
large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.
The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.
They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles
that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the
pot of stew and take a spoonful.
But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons
back into their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight
of their misery and suffering.
The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell. They went to the next room and opened the
door. It was exactly the same as the first one.
There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy
man's mouth water.
The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people
were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.
The holy man said, 'I don't
understand.'
'It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill. You see, they have
learned to feed each other. The greedy think only of themselves.'
Jesus died on the cross because he was other-centered and not self-centered.
Life is not just about having your spoon, it is also about knowing how to use
your spoon
July 21, 2010
Yes, You Are Caught With Your
Pants/Panties Down
As You Roll Out of Bed With Your Lover, Here Are the 15 Signs That You Are
Likely to Be Unfaithful to Your Spouse
(Ed's Note: This article is from the
DailyBeast.com)
1. If you're a man, you're about 7
percent more likely to be unfaithful to your partner than a woman is.
This gender disparity occurs largely because men continue having affairs
well into their 50s while women pretty much stop at 40—and that's because
infidelity is at least partly spurred by a desire to spread seeds and improve
the gene pool, says economist Bruce Elmslie, whose study yielded this statistic.
Then again, it might just be that "males tend to admit having affairs more
than women do," Elmslie says. Other studies suggest that women's infidelity
rates are catching up with men's, and the adultery gap is narrowing.
(Source: Bruce Elmslie and Edinaldo, Tebaldi (2008). So, what did you do last
night? The economics of infidelity. Kyklos, 61 (3), 391-410.)
2. If you live in a large city,
you're 39 percent more likely to have an affair than those who live in small
towns and rural areas.
The surer you are that you'll get away with it, the more you'll cheat,
Elmslie says. "Living in a city affords more opportunity because it allows for
more anonymity than a small town, where everyone knows what everyone else is
doing." Relative population size also plays a role: In a big city, you can
hardly turn around without seeing another five or six hundred potential
bedmates.
(Source: Judith Treas and Giesen, Deirdre. Sexual infidelity among married and
cohabiting Americans (2000). Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62 (1), 48-60.)
3. If you earn $75,000 or more per
year, you're over 150 percent more likely to have an affair than those who earn
$30,000 per year or less.
"With increasing income," write the authors of the study in which this
statistic appears, "it might be easier to hide the costs of entertainment or
other expenses incurred as a result of being with a third person." Moreover,
"individuals with higher incomes might be considered to have higher status, to
travel more, or to interact professionally with more appealing individuals."
And the richer one gets, the more entitled one might feel. Janis Abrahms
Spring, author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding the
Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, says one of the main factors
spurring affairs "is that sense of entitlement: the desire to have your needs
met without regard for the needs of others."
(Source: David Atkins and Baucom, Donald (2001): Understanding infidelity:
correlates in a national random sample, Journal of Family Psychology, 15 (4),
735-749.)
4. If your husband spends 10 percent
or less of his time with you, then there's at least a 10 percent chance you'll
cheat on him.
"People cheat not always for the sex, but because they're lonely,"
explains Spring, adding that we render our partners "more vulnerable to having
affairs when we don't pay attention to them or make them feel cherished or
safe."
The same study in which this statistic appears also found that women
virtually never cheat on husbands who are in their immediate vicinity over 80
percent of the time. Unless those husbands are blind, cheating on them would be
virtually impossible.
(Source: Baker, Robin. Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other
Bedroom Battles. New York: Thunder's Mouth Press, 2006, p. 48.)
5. If you think about sex every day,
you're 22 percent more likely to have an affair than those who think about sex
just a few times a week.
Who thinks about sex just a few times a week? People who are pretty
faithful to their partners, apparently. "Thinking about sex" usually translates
into fantasies, says Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good
People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships.
"It's a sign either that someone has time on his hands and/or that he feels
there's something missing in sex with his partner."
(Source: Judith Treas and Giesen, Dierdre (2000): Sexual infidelity among
married and cohabiting Americans. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62 (1),
48-60.)
6. If you and your spouse lived
together before getting married, there's a 39 percent chance that at least one
of you will cheat on the other.
"A lot of blue-state progressives think living together before marriage
is so natural that they can't understand how it could make a difference,"
Kirshenbaum says. "But for some people, living together rather than marrying is
a sign of dissonance, lack of commitment.... Some people go on to get married as
a way to solve those problems, just the way some people sometimes have children
in the hope of cementing a shaky relationship." Which also doesn't work.
(Source: Dollahite, D. C., & Lambert, N. M. (2006). Forsaking all others:
Marital fidelity in religious couples. Paper presented at the National Council
on Family Relations annual conference.)
7. If your identical twin has had an
affair, you're 200 percent more likely to have an affair yourself than if your
twin had not.
A study performed at London's St. Thomas Hospital, home of the U.K.'s
largest twin-research center, sought to determine which diseases and other
life-factors have genetic components. Its findings suggest that infidelity is a
genetic predisposition, just like cancer and the frequency of female orgasms.
The same study found that if your non-identical twin has had an affair,
you're 150 percent more likely to have one yourself than if your twin did not.
(Source: Lynn Cherkas et al. (2004): Genetic influences on female infidelity and
number of sexual partners in humans. Twin Research, 7 (6))
8. If you're African-American, you're
a little more than twice as likely than men of other ethnic backgrounds to have
an affair.
"This has to do with opportunity," says Elmslie, whose study found that
white men are about 7 percent less likely to have extramarital relations than
nonwhite men. "The war on drugs has done damage to the black population of the
United States, whose sex ratio has been severely affected" by drug-related
deaths and arrests.
"This has changed the dynamic," he says. Regardless of race, "when males have
more opportunity"—in this case, a disproportionately large pool of women—"they
will tend to act."
(Source: Judith Treas and Giesen, Deirdre (2000): Sexual infidelity among
married and cohabiting Americans, Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62(1),
48-60.)
9. If you've never attended religious
services, you're 250 percent more likely to have extramarital sex than those who
attend religious services more than once a week.
"Someone who attends a religious service more than once a week has a
relationship with his God and his church that significantly raises both the
costs and the risks" of an affair, Kirshenbaum says. "If he's found out, there's
a whole community that will be scandalized, and their disapproval will feel
terrible. Plus, if God is real for you, and God cares about this—well, why risk
pissing off God?"
By contrast, Elmslie's study found that religious women are 4 percent less
likely to have an affair than nonreligious women, yet "religion has no impact on
whether men decide to have an affair." Being a religious man "doesn't make you
less likely" to cheat, Elmslie declares. "Some religious leaders are the biggest
infidels in our society."
(Source: David Atkins and Baucom, Donald (2001): Understanding infidelity:
correlates in a national random sample, Journal of Family Psychology, 15 (4),
735-749. Bruce Elmslie and Edinaldo, Tebaldi (2008). So, what did you do last
night? The economics of infidelity. Kyklos, 61 (3), 391-410.).
10. If you have an advanced college
degree, you're 175 percent more likely to have extramarital sex than those who
did not finish high school.
This correlates with other findings that show the likelihood of
infidelity rising with income: the higher the degree, the bigger the paycheck
and potential sense of entitlement. And people with advanced degrees are more
likely to think they're smart enough to get away with sneaking around.
(Source: David Atkins and Baucom, Donald (2001): Understanding infidelity:
correlates in a national random sample, Journal of Family Psychology, 15 (4),
735-749.
11. If you're a woman whose husband
has a college degree, you're 3 percent less likely to have an affair than women
whose husbands do not have college degrees.
Because college-educated husbands tend to be higher earners than other
husbands, their wives are less likely to risk losing that income by wandering,
Elmslie says. His study revealed that, in sharp contrast to males, "women tend
to look at the full costs and benefits" of extramarital relationships — that is,
women look before they leap, while men just leap.
(Source: Bruce Elmslie and Edinaldo, Tebaldi (2008). So, what did you do last
night? The economics of infidelity. Kyklos, 61 (3), 391-410.)
12. If you were married at age 16 or
younger, you're almost 400 percent more likely to engage in extramarital sex
than those who were married for the first time at 23.
"People who marry in their middle teens may be representative of those
who are impulsive in intimate relationships," write the authors of this study.
It's also worth noting that, when it comes to extramarital sex, those who marry
at 16 or younger have at least a seven-year headstart over those who marry at
23.
(Source: David Atkins and Baucom, Donald (2001): Understanding infidelity:
correlates in a national random sample, Journal of Family Psychology, 15 (4),
735-749.)
13. If you're an unhappy man, you're
13 percent more likely to have an affair than happy men are.
Elmslie's study also found that unhappy women are 10 percent more likely
to cheat than happy women. The subjects of the study weren't surveyed on their
happiness regarding their marriages per se, but on their happiness overall: "So
it's a question of cause and effect," Elmslie says.
Spring adds that unexamined happiness, a kind of malaise, is one of the main
factors predisposing people to affairs. "Being unaware of your own personal
conflicts and blaming your unhappiness on your partner," she says. "That's a big
one."
(Source: Bruce Elmslie and Edinaldo, Tebaldi (2008). So, what did you do last
night? The economics of infidelity. Kyklos, 61 (3), 391-410.)
14. If you have made use of online
porn, you are 300 percent more likely to have an affair than someone who has
never looked at online porn.
It's always hot, it's always ready, and it's just a click away. "If you
crave excitement and novelty to the point of not being able to tolerate the
ordinariness and the predictability of an enduring relationship, then of course
you're more likely to have an affair," Spring says.
(Source: Dollahite, D. C., & Lambert, N. M. (2006). Forsaking all others:
Marital fidelity in religious couples. Paper presented at the National Council
on Family Relations annual conference.)
15. If you enjoy spending time with
your partner's relatives, you're 24 percent less likely to engage in
extramarital sex than those who dislike spending time with their in-laws.
"'Like me, like my family' is not just a threat, it is a prediction,"
Kirshenbaum says. Loving your in-laws means that if you lose your marriage, you
lose more than just a spouse—and spouses' relatives are often less willing to
forgive cheaters than spouses are themselves.
(Source: Dollahite, D. C., & Lambert, N. M. (2006). Forsaking all others:
Marital fidelity in religious couples. Paper presented at the National Council
on Family Relations annual conference.)
July 21, 2010 - 2nd Article
Honest Humor:
Here Are the Very Best Quotes on That Honorable Institution Called Marriage
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep
her.
Sacha Guitry
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Honore de
Balzac
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered
with sex and all that sort of thing.
W. Somerset
Maugham
A man may be a fool and not know it,
but not if he is married.
H. L. Mencken
Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great
success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he
automatically deserves success in marriage.
Sydney J.
Harris
Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it,
deserves all the consequences.
Isadora Duncan
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be
married too.
H. L. Mencken
Before marriage, a girl has to make
love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to
him.
Marilyn
Monroe
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you
start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
Jean Kerr
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.
First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B.
Johnson
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to
annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
I'd marry again if I found a man who
had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd
be dead within a year.
Bette
Davis
I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take
the garbage out.
Lee Grant
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go
ahead, get married.
Katharine
Hepburn
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about,
he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
Many a man in love with a dimple
makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
Stephen
Leacock
Marriage -- a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the
remaining chapters in prose.
Beverley
Nichols
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.
Charles Caleb
Colton
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry
later; for another thing, they die earlier.
H. L. Mencken
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've
experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
Marriage is a great institution, but
I'm not ready for an institution.
Mae West
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
Gilbert K.
Chesterton
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window
shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
George Bernard
Shaw
No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is
married.
Benjamin
Disraeli
No married man is genuinely happy if
he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
H. L.
Mencken
A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
James H. Boren
A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control
it.
John Steinbeck
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same
person.
Mignon
McLaughlin
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the
trouble.
Raymond Hull
Don't marry the person you think you
can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
James C.
Dobson
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we
had never married at all.
Lord Byron
If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles
friendship rather than love.
Michel de
Montaigne
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -- a practice which is still
continued.
Helen Rowland
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
Benjamin
Disraeli
It isn't tying himself to one woman
that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all
the others.
Helen
Rowland
Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.
St. Jerome
Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person.
Sophia Bush
Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.
Robert Graves
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a
mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Ambrose Bierce
Marrying for love may be a bit risky,
but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh
Billings
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the
better comes after the worse.
Doug Larson
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if
not, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought
much worse things about you.
Jean Rostand
Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer
finds you've already made one mistake.
Elbert Hubbard
On rare occasions one does hear of a
miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close
examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.
Emma
Goldman
One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he
falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
Judith Viorst
One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.
Honore de
Balzac
Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a
woman.
Joseph Joubert
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx
Sometimes I wonder if men and women
really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now
and then.
Katharine Hepburn
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she
marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the
truth about him.
H. L. Mencken
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money
usually costs a lot less.
Brendan Behan
The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds -- they mature slowly.
Peter De Vries
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into
battle.
Heinrich Heine
When a girl marries, she exchanges
the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Helen
Rowland
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
Prince Philip
When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place.
Helen Gahagan
Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
Benjamin
Franklin
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that
he's not the man she married?
Barbra
Streisand
July 2, 2010
Sage Advice from "The
Networking Guru"
How Relationship Building During Turbulent Times Can Pay Huge Dividends in
Your Future Work Career
(Ed's Note: Andrea Nierenberg,
President of The Nierenberg Group, is an author, speaker and business
consultant.)
By Andrea Nierenberg
As Dickens said in A Tale of Two Cities, "It was the best of times, it was
the worst of times".
We are all aware of the current economic conditions and while I am a true
believer of continually nurturing and building our relationships -- now more
then ever is the time to jump-start your system and to consistently put your
tactics and strategies into motion 24/7.
The relationships we build and
nurture are the ones that are there for us no matter what -- because we have
been there for them.
Think right now -- how often do I touch base to say hello or thank you to my
clients/customers/advocates/friends consistently to be on their radar screen all
the time.
We may live in a world of high technology, yet we need to also think 'high
touch' -- and not just to relieve any 'high stress' that may be apparent.
Be creative as you think of ways to 'take care' of the people who you have
worked hard to build trust and advocacy with. This goes back to delivering the
type of service and value that is priceless. It is going the extra mile and
taking the 'high road' as I like to call it -- there is less traffic there
anyway.
Here are some simple tactics and strategies you can put into practice
I -- Truly become Interested in
others.
Do this with sincerity and Integrity otherwise people see right through it.
One tool that I use a lot are Google alerts which I set up for people that I
want to be able to touch base with often with ideas and interests that pertain
to them. You will have opportunities to be 'in the know' and can drop them a
note or call with information and news.
N -- Nurture and know what you can
about the people in your life.
I have a list of many topics that I get to know about my relationships 'over
time'. For example here are a few that help me stay connected and reach out with
an article, thought, suggestion or idea that they might be interested in:
Birthday, Hobbies/Interests, Favorite foods/restaurants, Vacation interests,
Kids, Pets, School alumni, Special holidays, Job promotions/moves, Who you refer
to them, Who they refer you to, How you met, Likes, Dislikes, Professional
Organizations they are interested in, Know what 'motivates' them, Know what
their concerns are in business, and Know what keeps them up at night and how you
might help.
C -- Connect and communicate -- not
just when we want something -- much more important when we are there to provide
news, insight and a way to help their business or be a supportive ear.
Continually create value for your relationships. Be clear and connect with
them in the way they prefer. I always ask my relationships -- 'what is your
preferred method of communication? You have also shown that you are really
listening to them -- sometimes a forgotten art.
E -- Execute what you say you will
do.
Often after all is said and done -- much more is said then done. Be sure to
under promoise and over deliver. Take the time to follow up on everything that
you say you will do and surprise and delight people by doing so. I make a list
consistently to be sure that no matter what -- I follow up with who and whatever
I said I would – again something that often is not always done.
N -- Network! To me the word
'network' is huge and means many things.
I say that 'networking' is part of the S Factor -- 'sometimes it is strategic
and structured for the events you attend -- so be prepared. Most of life though
is 'serendipitous 'networking'' -- be aware of every opportunity to meet,
connect, reconnect and help someone else.
Everywhere in life and everyday we may learn something from someone who can
give us information that one of our contacts or trusted advisors or advocates
would be interested in. So keep your ears open and tuned up and also be sure to
continually Nurture your relationships. I can't say this enough.
T -- Trust is the key to any
relationship in good times and otherwise.
Work hard to continually build trust with your relationships-and this takes
Time. Talk less and listen more – we learn more that way also! Tell them when
you do talk – something that will help them or their business or offer a
suggestion, a piece of advice. Do your homework and research consistently.
I --Take the Initiative to reach out
and be connected.
If we wait for someone to call or email or meet with us, we might wait a long
time. Of course as we build and develop these relationships -- it goes without
saying that true Integrity is key for any relationship. My Dad always said "With
integrity nothing else matters and without integrity -- nothing else matters. I
live by this -- and it is so true.
V -- Continually create Value with
those in your life.
What are you delivering to them that makes you stand out. Also value every
relationship
in what they have given and continue to provide to you. Make sure to let them
know how important they are to you. Be Visible and let them know how to easily
find you. You are there when they need you. Consistently have your contact
information available to them so they don't have to look for it.
E -- Energy and Enthusiasm are key to
continually building relationships that last.
Take care of yourself and make sure you plan and prepare each day with goals
and ways of measuring. One way I do this is to set a specific goal each day for
different clients or relationships. Something as simple as calling 3 extra
people with a message of goodwill or a piece of information, 3 extra emails with
the same type of message, and I'm a big believer of pulling out pen and paper
and not just during the holidays to write a short note of thanks, or a greeting
of hello and thinking of you
May 21, 2010
Here's Why
Don't Worry About Being a Peanut in a Can of Mixed Nuts Where Cashews Are
King
The following explains the life philosophy of Charles Schulz, creator of the
legendary "Peanuts" comic strip.
You don't have to actually answer
these questions to get started, just ponder on them:
1) Name the 5 wealthiest people in the world.
2) Name the last 5 Heisman Trophy winners.
3) Name the last 5 winners of the Miss America pageant.
4) Name 10 people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the
people in the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the
applause dies. The awards tarnish. The achievements of others are forgotten.
Ultimately, the accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here's another quiz. See how you
do on this one:
1) List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2) Name 3 friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3) Name 5 people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4) Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5) Think of 5 people you enjoy spending time with.
Was that easier? I think so.
Here is the lesson: The people who
make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the
most money, or the most awards. They simply are the ones who care the most.
April 27, 2010
Just Asking:
Could We Be More Obsessed With Tiger Woods Than Tiger Is With Himself?
(Ed's Note: The
best advice I can give any woman about men is—listen very carefully to what a
man has to say, and then watch very carefully what he does, because what he does
is who he is. After he has had his way with you, he will find something else to
do, it just will not be with you. Actions always speak louder than words,
especially in romance, sex, marriage and life.)
By a Golf Fan at the Master's Tournament
Last weekend, as I tried to enjoy one of the greatest golf tournaments in the
world, all I was "entertained" with was the Tiger Woods show. As soon as one
golfer would hit a tee shot or make a putt, it seemed that the next view would
be that of Tiger Woods.
Tiger Woods just missing a putt that would have put him in contention with
the other golfers. Tiger Woods hooking his drive which showed how his time off
had hurt his game. Tiger Woods trying to "respect" the game. How it seemed that
the Tiger was able to put his past transgressions behind him, and was able to
concentrate on the job at hand. It just kept going on and on about Tiger this
and Tiger that.
On the other hand, a little miracle
was occurring at the Masters; one golfer just kept smiling. He smiled if he made
a good drive, or if he made a bad drive. He smiled if he made a long putt or
missed a 5-foot putt.
As he walked between holes, he smiled and shook hands with the crowd. He
never cursed a bad stoke or blamed another person for a miss. All he did was
smile.
Why would Phil Mickelson be smiling? Here was a man whose wife has breast
cancer. Here was a man whose mother has breast cancer. Here is a man who rather
than allow his wife and mother to fight this battle by themselves, took time off
from the PGA tour to be with them.
Here was a man that returned to
the game he loved when his wife ordered him to do so. Here was man, who was so
glad for the miracle that was happening as his wife moved closer to a cure, that
he rewarded her oncologist by allowing him to be his guest caddy at last week’s
golf tournament. This move, which could have cost Mickelson thousands of dollars
in purse money, was his gift to a man he knew he could never thank enough for
what he had given to him.
During the final round on Sunday, Phil’s wife was staying in their hotel room
since she was still weak from the chemo treatments she is receiving. Phil did
not know as he walked up to the 18th tee that his wife would be there.
All Phil did was smile. He smiled to the crowds, he smiled to the TV
audience, he smiled to God. After his last putt found the bottom of the hole, he
hugged his caddy and others and walked to the scorer’s shack. He then gave the
biggest smile of the whole four days. He saw his wife, and even in the midst of
thousands of people, it seemed that only Phil and his wife Amy were there.
Tomorrow I am going to smile. I am
going to smile if it is nice weather or bad. I am going to smile at the driver
who honks his horn at me or the driver who cuts me off. I am going to smile if I
get the order or not.
And when the day is done, I am going to save my biggest smile for the person
who makes me complete. Then I am going to look to the heavens and give thanks
for being able to smile.
March 15, 2010
"You Can Change"
My Life As A Jerk - A Message from Radio Ink Publisher Eric Rhoads
(Ed's Note: Eric Rhoads is a radio
entrepreneur who publishes RADIO INK
and a daily newsletter for members of
the radio industry.)
By Eric Rhoads
I'll admit it. I'm unemployable. I cannot work for anyone else. The only way
I can survive and make a living is to run my own business. I'm just not good at
answering to anyone. I won't even take on outside investors, won't borrow money
because I don't want to answer to a bank, and won't take on venture capital,
either.
Of course, I have worked for other people, have borrowed money in the past,
have raised millions in venture capital, have worked for big and small
corporations—but I was just not very good at answering to others. In fact, I
dislike it so much that I spent several years designing my life and business so
no one else could yank my chain.
The reason I'm in this position today
is because I worked for and reported to some first-class jerks.
As a young business owner, I, too, was a first-class jerk. No one ever told me
it was OK to be a nice boss. All the images I ever received about management
involved being a bully. I used to believe that I was smarter than my employees,
that I knew better, that they were just pawns in the game.
I actually believed that if I showed them I was boss, they would respect me.
I would yell at staff, berate them in front of others, criticize them till I
brought them to tears, fire people on the spot, and continually remind them that
it was my name on the manager's door, not theirs.
I was a hotshot—or so I thought. Then
one day, following a tragedy in which one of our employees was killed in an auto
accident, everyone on the staff realized that life is too short to work for a
jerk like me. Within one 24-hour period, I lost almost the entire sales and air
staff at one station.
"You'll never work in this business again!" I shouted to one of the employees
who resigned without notice. Just like a bad marriage in which we blame the
other person, it took me a couple of years to realize I was the problem.
Finally, the jerk left the building.
My father's generation of managers was autocratic, but people with a choice
simply won't put up with it anymore. Perhaps, in today's economic climate,
people are fortunate to have a job and have to put up with management's bad
behavior because they have a mortgage to pay and no prospect of another job. But
the second they find one, they will be gone.
Don't misread this. Managers have to
set the agenda, keep the pressure on to perform to meet deliverables, drive
accountability, and sometimes enforce unpopular disciplinary actions. But those
things can be done without being a jerk.
The most important lesson I've learned is that without employee loyalty, I can't
grow my business. Without listening to their feedback, I can't capture the beat
of the street. When things get tough, loyal employees will come through for you
when nothing else will work. Like those classic words from the Bible: Treat
others as you would want to be treated.
If you're a jerk manager, you're living in the dark ages. There is no excuse.
Zappos.com CEO Tony
Hsieh has created a multimillion-dollar company based on the principle of
empowering and listening to his employees because he understands they are the
front line to the customers. Tony sent me his employee manual, which is the size
of the Manhattan phone book.
Unlike most companies that tell you what you can't do, he focuses on how to
build others, how to dazzle customers, how to build culture, and how to make
sure you're having fun in your job. His company grew from $1.6 million in 2000
to ending 2009 with $1.2 billion in sales, in spite of the economy.
Last year the company sold to Amazon for $847 million in Amazon
shares. Hsieh is writing a book titled Delivering Happiness: The Path to
Profits, Passion, and Purpose, which will be released June 7. Tony does
not manage by being a jerk.
I'm not proud of my early years as a
jerk, but, as Tony says, "You can't change the past, but every day is an
opportunity to rewrite your future." I was able to change, and you can too.
Though I no longer have to work for jerks, I still have accountability to my
customers, employees, readers, and advertisers. Like Tony, I'm thankful for all
of them and try to focus my attention on serving them vigorously. After all, a
manager's job is to serve, not be served. Changing that single perspective can
revolutionize any organization—including yours.
February 14, 2010
7 Clever and Cheap Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day
By Brenda Svoboda
If money isn't flowing as freely as it used to this Valentine's Day, consider
giving more from the heart and less from the wallet. An understanding woman will
appreciate that you didn't go into debt to buy her a $100 worth of flowers that
you cannot comfortably afford. If the size of your wallet is the most important
thing to her maybe you're in the wrong relationship.
Here are 7 creative zero cost or low
cost ways to show your sweetie how you really feel.
- Give her one perfect rose and a nice card. You can get as much mileage
out of one rose as you can a dozen.
- Make an old fashioned card out of construction paper. Remember the ones
we exchanged in grade school that said "I LOVE YOU. DO YOU LOVE ME? CHECK
[YES] OR [NO]." Joke about how broke you are now, and how different things
will be next year.
- Buy, or make yourself if you can, two chocolate dipped strawberries and
a split of sparkling wine (or champagne).
- On your computer, use clip art to create a cute IOU for a massage, help
with a project around the house, or let her fill in the blanks.
- Surprise her by cooking dinner yourself.
- Draw a bubble bath for her and fill the bathroom with candles. Offer to
scrub her back.
- Write a love note and leave for her to discover on her own.
Saying that you forgot Valentine's
Day is no excuse. Like birthdays and Christmas, it comes around every year.
Whether your relationship has stood the test of time or is just starting,
February 14 is the most important day of the year for lovers. Celebrate it!
For a lighted hearted and totally opinionated take on male/female issues
visit the Alpha Female blog at
http://howtopleaseme.blogspot.com/
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brenda_Svoboda
February 14, 2010 - 2nd Article
Telltale Signs That He Really Loves You – Insight Into Your Man's Heart
By Gillian Reynolds
Most women in love wish they had magic powers that would allow them to know
exactly what their man was feeling. Men can sometimes be a bit cautious when it
comes to sharing their emotions. That's obviously challenging for the women that
love them. When you're absolutely crazy about a man, you want to know that he
feels the same way about you.
If he's not quick to share that with you, it can leave you questioning where
you stand not only in the relationship but with him too. If your guy has yet to
utter those three little words to you there's help. If a man hasn't come right
out and told you that he adores you, there are some signs that he really loves
you that you need to know. If you see any of these in your guy, you can rest
assured he's head over heels for you.
One of the very obvious signs that he
really loves you is he'll do anything he can just to spend time with you.
There's a slight shift in a man's attitude when he starts falling in love with a
woman. He'll go out of his way, change plans and rearrange his schedule if it
means a few minutes with the woman he adores.
You can always tell when a man is still stuck in the liking you phase because
he'll sometimes make excuses for why he can't see you. That really does change
once he's in love. You'll be his very favorite person and he'll show it by
wanting to spend as much time with you as he possibly can.
When a man is in love with a woman he wants to please her. Disappointing her
is something he will try his best not to do. If your guy promises you he'll call
or meet you at a specific time, he'll move mountains to make that happen. If you
find yourself waiting and waiting for him and he hasn't called to tell you he'll
be late or that he's been detained, he doesn't yet hold the respect that comes
with true love.
If you've felt neglected by your guy
recently because you don't feel that you're his number one priority, he's likely
not as in love with you as you are with him.
How much he wants to touch you is another of the signs that he really loves
you. Men in love can't keep their hands off the woman they adore. They'll reach
for her hand, stroke her back while they're waiting in line at the movies or rub
her feet if she's had a long day. He wants to be as physically close to you as
he can be because he feels emotionally close.
A man who is always touching you is a sign of a man in love with you.
Every woman has the power to make her man
fall in love with her. You can
have a deep, undying emotional connection with him. Learn the specific
techniques that will make you completely and utterly irresistible to him by
clicking here.
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gillian_Reynolds
January
19, 2010
A Great American
Awakening
The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Famous
Speech "I Have a Dream" Still Stirs Hearts and Minds
(Ed's Note: Few ministers of God's
message have had a more profound affect on the course of American history and
culture than The Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. His most famous
"I
Have a Dream"
speech still stirs in the hearts and minds of millions of Americans today. Rev.
King spoke these famous words on August 28, 1963 at the March on Washington, DC.
Martin Luther King Jr. Day was celebrated yesterday.)
By The Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand
signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great
beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the
flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long
night of captivity.
But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is
still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly
crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One
hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst
of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is
still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile
in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition.
In a sense we have come to our
nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the
magnificent words of the U. S. Constitution and the Declaration of Independence,
they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.
This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights
of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar
as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred
obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check that has come back
marked "insufficient funds."
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to
believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of
this nation. So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us
upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come
to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now.
This is no time to engage in the
luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is
the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit
path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all
of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of
racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the
moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering
summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an
invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end,
but a beginning.
Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be
content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual.
There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted
his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the
foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must
say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of
justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of
wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking
from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and
discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical
violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting
physical force with soul force.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not
lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as
evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny
is tied up with our destiny
and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the
pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are
asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never
be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot
gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities.
We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a
smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in
Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for
which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until
justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and
tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have
come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of
persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the
veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned
suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to
Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and
ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will
be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and
frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in
the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true
meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are
created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the
red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave
owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state,
sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into
an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they
will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their
character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day the state
of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of
interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where
little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white
boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and
mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked
places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and
all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this
faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.
With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation
into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to
work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together,
to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be
free one day.
This will be the day when all of
God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of
thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of
the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."
And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom
ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the
mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies
of Pennsylvania!
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring
from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every
mountainside, let freedom ring.
When we let freedom ring, when we let
it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we
will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and
white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join
hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at
last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
January 17, 2010 – 2nd Article
Mental Feng Shui
1) Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2) Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational
skills will be as important as any other.
3) Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4) When you say "I love you" mean it.
5) When you say "I'm sorry" look the
person in the eye.
6) Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7) Believe in love at first sight.
8) Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
9) Love deeply and passionately. You
might get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely.
10) In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11) Don't judge people by their relatives.
12) Talk slowly but think quickly.
13) When someone asks you a question
you don't want to answer, smile and ask, '"Why do you want to know?"
14) Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15) Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
16) When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
17) Remember the three R's: Respect
for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
18) Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19) When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20) Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21) Spend some time alone.
For the uninitiated, feng shui (in Chinese thought) is a system of laws
considered to govern spatial arrangement and orientation in relation to the flow
of energy (qi), and whose favorable or unfavorable effects are taken into
account when siting (site, not sit) and designing buildings.
December 16, 2009 - 2nd Article
From the Mouths
of Babes
Some 4 to 8-Year-Old Children Describe What
Love Means
(Ed's Note: From
the mouths of babes comes clarity and truth. Sometimes we think our children do
not listen to or see the lessons we speak and model. We would be dead wrong, as
these thoughts reveal.)
A group of professional people posed this question to a group
of 4 to 8 year-olds: '"What does love mean?"
Here are their answers, which were broader and deeper than they might have
imagined.
"When my
grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails
anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got
arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know
that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume, and a boy puts on shaving cologne, and
they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and
give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of
theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy, and she takes a sip before
giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you
still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss." Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you
at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends,
even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the
people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one
doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
"If you want to
learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age
6
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to
sleep at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty, and still says he is handsomer
than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your
face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and
has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out
of you." Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love
you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People
forget." Jessica - age 8
December 13, 2009 - 2nd Article
How the Mighty Fall
Why Men Cheat: From Tiger Woods to
President Bill
Clinton
(Ed's Note: The
following article appeared in The Daily Beast. Abby Ellin regularly writes the
"Vows" column for the New York Times, and previously wrote the "Preludes"
column for that newspaper about young people and money. She is the author of
Teenage Waistland, but her greatest claim to fame is naming "Karamel Sutra"
ice cream for Ben and Jerry's.)
By Abby Ellin
It’s the question many have been asking this week: Why would a
man with everything, including a drop-dead gorgeous wife, still feel the need to
cheat? The Daily Beast puts Tiger Woods (and all men) on the couch, as a
half-dozen psychologists give him a proper head-shrinking, Freud-style.
Yet another celebrity has risked his family, public image, and
livelihood for some big-lipped, blond-streaked, saline-injected specimen. But
what makes the Tiger Woods saga so exceptional is the sheer recklessness of it.
The allegations of church parking lot romps, the condom-less sex, the
billion-dollar gravy train at stake.
It begs a question
that seems to be recurring about once a quarter: What makes men so revered, so
powerful, so rich feel the need to engage in shenanigans and push them so close
to the edge?
What makes (fill in the blank)
Tiger/Spitzer/Edwards/Ensign/Clinton/men so careless, so dumb?
Ask a shrink, and you will get an answer. Ask 12 shrinks, and
you will get 12 answers: It was about sex. It had nothing to do with sex. He was
depressed. He’s entitled. He’s tragically insecure. He thinks the rules don’t
apply to him. He’s an adrenaline junkie. He wanted to get caught. He doesn’t
think he deserves his success. He’s Teflon man. And so on.
They’re all plausible, but since none of us knows him
personally, it’s hard to be sure. So we decided to go back to the source: Freud.
We asked some leading psychologists to put Tiger Woods on the couch—a proxy, in
some ways, for any powerful man—through the prism of the father of
psychoanalysis himself. Three theories emerged:
The Pleasure
Principle (The Id)
According to Freud, the id is the unconscious part of our
psyche: Impulsive. Instinctual. Polymorphous perverse. When you’re a famous
athlete who’s got girls shedding their knickers the minute they see you, well,
why not indulge in a little after-school activity?
"If you put a guy on the road half the year and all these
beautiful women throw themselves at him, and he’s got a lot of money—it’s hard
not to become narcissistic," says Stephen Josephson, a cognitive behavioral
psychologist in New York City. "Narcissism includes a limited tolerance for
limits—‘I should be able to do what I want to do’ and grandiosity—‘I can do
whatever I want to do because I’m special.’ What goes hand in hand is, ‘I can
get away with it.’"
Translation: Tiger
thought he wasn’t going to get caught.
Noel Biderman, the CEO of Ashley Madison, a dating site for
people "already in relationships" (read: married or cohabiting), 98 percent of
the men on his site are there for sexual-related reasons.
"They’re in sexless marriages, or they’re tired of vanilla
sex, or they want a different ethnicity," says Biderman, who says he has 5
million men and women on his site. "Do I believe that’s representative of why
men have affairs? Absolutely. Tiger’s a great example. There are a lot of
factors in place that obviously make him a great candidate—the high-profile
nature of his career, how many people throw themselves at him, he’s taken risks
that have paid off."
Plus, he adds, adultery is hot. The best sex is, more often
than not, illicit sex—Meryl and Clint in the Bridges of Madison County;
Bogart and Bergman in Casablanca; Diane Lane and that French guy in
Unfaithful. "Affairs really get people’s blood boiling," he says.
"Monogamous sex becomes monotonous."
He's a Narcisist (The
Ego)
There are two kinds of narcissists in the world: grandiose
narcissists and insecure narcissists. The insecure one will use sex to boost his
ego, because he’s not good at his job or he doesn’t feel great about his body
and he’s trying to compensate. So he’s looking for someone to artificially boost
his ego.
"When you’re a high-profile individual in public life, you’re
almost thinking, ‘Can I do something that no one knows about and walk the line
of not getting caught?’"
Tiger falls into the former camp, says Michael Batshaw, a New
York psychotherapist and author of 51 Things You Should Know Before Getting
Engaged.
"I disagree that he feels insecure," he says. "If people tell
you you’re amazing, you start to believe it. Just look at the statement he gave.
To me, that’s one of the biggest clues to his narcissism. He spent two
paragraphs talking about not being perfect and then he talked about the media
and his right to privacy. Essentially, what he’s saying is the media, who are
complete strangers, should have the same kind of certitude, empathy, and
compassion for my wife and children that I didn’t have."
He's a Little Boy
Searching for Validation (Super-Ego)
"Different men cheat for different reasons, but if it’s a more
regressed type of guy, it’s that he’s a little boy, underdeveloped, doesn’t want
to take on the responsibility of a full relationship. So when the woman sets
limits or holds him responsible, he gravitates toward a new playmate he can just
play and have fun with," says Bethany Marshall, a marriage and family therapist
in Beverly Hills.
"Because when the primary love object disappoints them or they
have interpersonal problems, they cannot work it out with that person, they
cannot problem-solve so they find a love substitute," said Marshall.
Doug Hirschorn,
author of Eight Ways to Great and a mental coach who uses sports
psychology to improve high-powered Wall Street titans, says he believes Tiger is
an adrenaline junkie.
"If you look through what Tiger did, how he went about it—text
messaging, putting very little effort to try and protect—it was almost, how far
can I go before I get caught?’ That feeling causes a psychological rush. He’s
not stupid. He thrives on adrenaline. He’d probably say that emotionally he got
the some charge from hitting that impossible shot and from and texting at 3
a.m.," said Hirschorn.
"And when you’re a high-profile individual in public life,
you’re almost thinking, ‘can I do something that no one knows about and walk the
line of not getting caught? I don’t want to get caught because I know how
damaging it will be to my career, but how close can I go without damaging my
career?’ "
The one thing all
the shrinks agreed on: No matter how much you place people on pedestals, forcing
them to be on top of their game at all times, the cliché still holds: They’re
human beings, too, with the same insecurities and flaws we all have.
"When they do things that other people do, it’s because
they’re trying to almost normalize themselves," says Hirschorn. "It’s not that
they think they’re above the law. It’s more about trying to make themselves feel
normal, regular. The bottom line, I find with my clients—the more successful
they are, the more insecure they are."
"That’s what drives them to be the best," added Hirschorn.
November 23, 2009
The Day the
Nation Stood Still
John F. Kennedy Was Assassinated 46 Years
Ago, and Still His Legacy Lives in the Hearts of Many
(Ed's Note:
Yesterday marked the 46th anniversary of the assassination of President John F.
Kennedy on November 22, 1963. Janet Garey shares her poignant memory of that day
and time. Garey is a professional journalist, an environmental educator and a
community-based local activist. Among other projects, Garey and her daughter
Amanda and granddaughter Alexandra rescue and find homes for hundreds of stray
or abandoned cats simply for the joy and love they give and get from their
feline family.)
By Janet Garey
Hanging over the balcony rail of New York's Majestic Theater was an almost
12-year-old girl falling deeply, passionately in love for the very first time.
Tales of the brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Anderson were
juvenile; belief in tooth-hoarding pixies, egg-gifting rabbits and jolly old men
who performed miracles on 34th Street had long departed, but what unfolded
before her eyes rekindled an innocent longing for magic and faeries, romance and
idealism.
Richard Burton,
Julie Andrews and Robert Goulet transported her to Camelot, a kingdom where
there was "simply not a more convenient spot for happily-ever-aftering."
It wasn't the marvelous Lerner and Lowe musical score, exquisite costumes or
acting abilities of the award-winning cast (although it did give me a
lifelong-crush on the inimical, gone-too-soon Burton) that captured my heart. It
was the persuasion and promise of the theatrical premise.
Maybe Camelot, a world where right took precedent over might,
where shared at a
round table with no ONE individual claiming totalitarian authority, social
differences could be peacefully resolved by communication was not just a pretty
pipe dream. Maybe it could really happen.
That possibility became more of a
reality when in late 1960, the office of U.S. President was about to be vacated
by battle-weary and war-beleaguered General Dwight David Eisenhower.
In a national election that the American public could easily
follow—and was totally befuddled by—via newsprint, radio AND television, we
young people watched a youthful, charismatic, charming fellow narrowly defeat a
dour, middle-aged man who seemed to us a mere extension of the same old-same
old.
At the age of 43, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, beating Republican Richard Nixon by
only 115,000 votes, took the oath of office as the 35th President of the United
States on January 20, 1961.
Next: We listened and heeded the
words of our own "King Arthur," when his inaugural speech staunchly challenged
us.
"Let [us] seek to invoke the wonders of science instead of its terrors. Together
let us explore the stars, conquer the deserts, eradicate disease, tap the ocean
depths, and encourage the arts and commerce;
"Let [us] unite to heed in all corners of the earth the command of Isaiah—to
undo the heavy burdens—and to let the oppressed go free.
"And if a beachhead of cooperation
may push back the jungle of suspicion, let both sides join in creating a new
endeavor, not a new balance of power, but a new world of law, where the strong
are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved.
"All this will not be finished in the first 100 days. Nor will it be finished in
the first 1,000 days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps
in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.
"In your hands, my fellow citizens, more than in mine, will rest the final
success or failure of our course. Since this country was founded, each
generation of Americans has been summoned to give testimony to its national
loyalty. The graves of young Americans who answered the call to service surround
the globe.
"Now the trumpet summons us again -
not as a call to bear arms, though arms we need; not as a call to battle, though
embattled we are - but a call to bear the burden of a long twilight struggle,
year in and year out, 'rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation'—a struggle
against the common enemies of man: tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself.
"Can we forge against these enemies a grand and global alliance, North and
South, East and West, that can assure a more fruitful life for all mankind? Will
you join in that historic effort?
"In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the
role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shank from
this responsibility—I welcome it. I do not believe that any of us would exchange
places with any other people or any other generation. The energy, the faith, the
devotion which we bring to this endeavor will light our country and all who
serve it—and the glow from that fire can truly light the world.
"And so, my fellow Americans: ask not
what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.
"My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what
together we can do for the freedom of man. "
Granted, the Kennedy administration was not without numerous and oft-times
controversial issues: the Bay of Pigs invasion, the Cuban Missile crisis,
erection of the wall dividing East and West Berlin, the formative events of
military action in Vietnam and the much belated genesis of the Civil Rights
Movement.
But we teenagers
and young people collectively trusted JFK; we heeded his call to service, be it
helping younger children with their reading at an elementary school or picking
up trash on weekends in the park. I chose to become a student speaker advocate
for what was then called the United Fund and volunteered to assist
sight-impaired teens with their schoolwork at the Miami Lighthouse for the
Blind.
I cared because my beloved President asked me to care; I cared
because I believed he cared about me.
Friday, November 22, 1963
It was 1:30 p.m. Ninth graders at Madison Junior High in Miami, FL, bored stupid
by an interminable geography lecture, Laura Lacey and I were passing notes and
whispering, then greatly relieved when the tedium was interrupted by the subdued
voice of assistant principal Mrs. Carruthers over the PA system.
"Boys and girls," she announced. "I
am greatly saddened to report that President Kennedy has died. Our nation is in
mourning. You need to go straight home. Teachers, ensure that your students
leave in an orderly manner."
Personally, I remember completely stunned silence. No chaos, just a total
emotional abyss. The first few moments were a shroud. Then there were tears as I
flew down three flights of stairs directly into the arms of my favorite teacher,
Ed Liebhauser, now 82 years old and a recent corroborator of my memories.
"Yes, you were sobbing, Janet, inconsolable," he recollected during a telephone
reunion some weeks ago, "and all I could do was hug you and tell you to run on
home; everything would be all right."
For a time, Mr. Liebhauser was wrong;
nothing was all right. In days, weeks, months, years to come, I watched horrors
unfold in a world that made me frightened, furious, then numb and apathetic.
Kennedy's killer was himself gunned down before my eyes; Robert Kennedy, Martin
Luther King followed suit.
Boys in tacky tuxedos that I danced with at prom were bid
farewell in boxes draped with red, white and blue bunting. We watched a man take
one small step on the moon; later seven souls soaring skyward became angels in
the blink of an eye. Starvation, poverty, the omnipresent threat of nuclear
annihilation, civil, social, racial, sexual, gender discrimination. But, as
Walter Cronkite ambiguously told us every night, "that's the way it is."
Yet somewhere in a tiny recess of my mind was a snippet of that song which had
filled my little girl's heart back in '61, bolstered by later learning that it
was also a favorite of President Kennedy's. It got me to thinking—JFK never
implied that we individually had the power to cure the woes of the world; all he
asked was that we as a society do something; find a cause to support and act on
it; don't just bitch and moan or apathetically accept that that's the way it is.
Instead, he
challenged every one of us to use our own particular talent to make the world a
better place, truly capable of stating "and that's the way it was." That was my
epiphany; Camelot is still in arm's reach.
I have become the woman I am today greatly influenced by the life and death of
JFK. There is a no more appropriate way to summarize my belief that together, we
can rebuild our wonder-filled world than through the final words of that musical
play I still love a half-century later:
Ask ev'ry person if he's heard the
story,
And tell it strong and clear if he has not,
That once there was a fleeting wisp of glory,
Called Camelot.
Don't let if be forgot,
That once there was a spot,
For one, brief, shining moment that was known
As Camelot.
(Ed's Postscript: Those of us who were privileged to live
in the time before JFK's rise to the Presidency, experience his assassination
first hand on that dreadful day, and live on through the tumultuous four decades
since, will never die with an empty heart. Those who passed before us will
remember Camelot in another place, and we shall keep the spirit of Camelot alive
here until our time to pass arrives. We, as they did, will go boldly into a
place we have never been, secure in our destiny.)
November 5, 2009
A Smart Man's View:
Here Is What Andy Rooney Has to Say About
Women Over 50
(Ed's Note: Here is
what CBS correspondent Andy Rooney said on his "60 Minutes" segment about women
over 50.)
By Andy Rooney
As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are
just a few reasons why:
A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What
are you thinking?" She does not care what you think.
If a woman over 50 does not want to watch the game, she does not sit around
whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it is usually more
interesting.
Women over 50 are dignified. They
seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an
expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they will not hesitate to
shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it is
like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman
over 50.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her
younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and
honest. They will tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like
one. You do not ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it is
not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, stylish, hot woman over 50, there is
a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some
22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
here is an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why?
Because women realize it is not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little
sausage!
November 4, 2009 –
2nd Article
Lessons in Life:
Erma Bombeck on "If I Had My Life to Live
Over Again"
(Ed's Note: The
following was written by the famous humorist and syndicated columnist Erma
Bombeck when she found out she was dying from cancer.)
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending
the Earth would go into a holding pattern if I were not there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in
storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to
dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room, and worried much less
about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted that the
car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased
and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn and welcomed the grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while
watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, would not show
soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months
of pregnancy, I would have cherished every moment and realized that the
wonderment growing inside me was my only chance in life to assist God in a
miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later.
Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more of "I love you" and
"I'm sorry."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it
and really see it, live it and never give it back.
Do not worry about who does not like you, who has more, or who is doing what.
Instead, let us cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
January 26, 2009
Lessons in Life
"The Purple Iris" Reminds Me About the Value
of Wisdom in My Old Age
(Editor's Note: My
sister Sally emailed me a posting called "The Iris". It reminded me about one of
the benefits of getting older. I repeat "The Iris" here and have added some
comments.)
Copyright © 2009 Ed Bagley
"The Iris" has these thoughts to share:
"There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about
people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."
It is accompanied by a photo of
a purple iris and invites you to send the message and the photo to those people
who are important in your life.
I think it is a good
thing in life to arrive at a point where you realize who matters, who never did,
who won't anymore, and who always will.
The part about who always will matter reminds me of friends of
mine I have grown to like, respect and admire. One high school friend of mine
has been my friend for 48 years; that is a long time to stay in contact with
someone and see them, if not every year, often enough to know that they matter
and always will matter.
I think a big part of this particular friend of mine is
stability. I believe and trust that he will be the same person tomorrow that he
is today and was yesterday. I do not have to worry that he will become someone
else and outgrow our friendship. I can share with him things I cannot share with
my family and other friends.
With aging should come stability. When stability becomes a
habit, maturity and clarity follow. I place a high value on a person's
stability, and I place an even higher value on integrity. Integrity is a
character trait that has been pushed aside in our culture and society.
One thing that I like about the purple iris is that it is
stationary.
You see life can be like a merry-go-round. When you are young
you are attracted to it because it is moving, it has bright colors, it has
horses to ride that go up and down, and it has music.
It is a distraction, like an interesting job that gets you
fired up to go to work. It is exciting, like all of the wonderful things you can
buy, places you can go and people you can meet.
As you get older, the
merry-go-round stops less often. When you really get older, it keeps on going,
and you are not physically able to get off, you just keep going round and round.
Soon you are dizzy from going around in circles, the bright colors are too
bright, the riding begins to bother you with its constant up and down motion,
and the music becomes too loud to bear.
You want to get off, but the attendant will not stop the
machine. Since you cannot get off and are doomed to keep going round and round,
you never get a chance to get off and see the iris, which has been patiently
waiting for you to return.
The responsibilities and duties of our life can present a
constant, never ending demand on our time, talent and resources.
Going back to that
purple iris is like going back to an old and trusted friend. There is beauty and
stability when everything is passing by so quickly we cannot keep up. We may
then realize that we do not have to keep up.
Today's world was never our world anyway. We grew up in
yesterday's world. We learned our life lessons in a different environment, and
have successfully used what we learned to this very day.
If we will but stop a moment, we may better understand what H.
G. Wells said, "We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the
fact that each moment is a miracle and a mystery."
Remember that you
cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.
Check out more of my articles on lessons in life, including:
"Who Has Had the
Greatest Influence on Your Life, and Why?"
"Become a Parent and
Witness a Miracle"
"The Real Heroes of
Our Time Are Those Who Serve Others"
"If You Think as a
Parent that Little League Baseball Does Not Teach Important Survival Skills,
Think Again"
"Should We Be
Concerned About the Apparent Violence of Our Children?"
April 30, 2008
Lessons in Life:
Behold, an Article that Reminds Us of O.
Henry's "The Gift of the Magi"
Copyright © 2008 Ed Bagley
(Editor's Note: Stories float
around the Internet like raindrops on water. Some are worth retelling and some
are not. This story caught my attention as it reminded me of O. Henry's "The
Gift of the Magi". O. Henry was the pen name of William Sidney Porter, America's
greatest short story writer. I took the liberty of editing and rewriting parts
of this story to increase its impact.)
A blind girl hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except
her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, "If I
could only see the world, I would marry you."
One day, someone donated her a pair of eyes.
When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.
He asked her, "Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his
closed eyelids shocked her. She had not expected him to be blind. The thought of
looking at his closed eyelids for the rest of her life led her to refuse his
offer of marriage.
Her boyfriend left her in tears, and days later wrote a note to her saying:
"Take good care of your eyes, for before they were yours, they were mine."
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few
of us remember what life was like before, and who was always by our side in the
most painful situations.
Life is a Gift from Your Maker, Not an
Entitlement from Your Government
Today, before you say an unkind word, think of someone who cannot speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has
nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who is crying
out to God for a companion.
Before you complain about your life, think of a child whose life was cut short
by cancer.
Before you complain about your children, think of someone who dreams of having
children but is barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house someone did not clean or sweep, think of
the homeless who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who has to walk
the same distance because they have no means of transportation.
When you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, the
disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
Before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another, remember that not
one of us is without sin, and we all answer to one maker.
And when depressing thoughts test your spirit, put a smile on your face and
thank God you are alive and still around to enjoy your blessings and the wonder
of life.
Read my movie reviews on families: "A
Christmas Story", "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and "Secondhand Lions". You will
smile, laugh, cry and feel better for the experience. Don't just live life,
experience life! Click on my Movie Review section to find these reviews.
February 17, 2007
Here Is My Analysis:
What Women Should
Know: A
Man's 5 Basic Responsibilities - Part 1
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
Some men say they cannot live with
women and they cannot live without women.
I think they mean they do not understand women.
I choose to celebrate women as a necessary and wonderful addition to a man's
world and would rate women as the third most important gift from my maker God,
who happens to be a man and not a woman.
I choose to not be confused by women who insist that God is a woman and not a
man; their lack of perception on this matter is entirely their problem and shall
remain so.
Women are God's third most important
gift, following the gift of life and the gift of free will.
Without the gift of life all would be null and void and this explanation
meaningless.
Without the gift of free will a man would not be able to make choices and
decisions and thus would be rendered useless both to him and her.
Since women are a necessary and wonderful addition to a man's world here are 14
things that every woman should know about men.
A Man's 5 Basic
Responsibilities
Just as a man has five fingers on his
left hand there are five jobs his analytical mind tells him he must do:
1) Defend his loved ones. A
man is the first responder to any unexpected threats to his loved ones. That
means putting his life on the line if necessary. He is bigger, stronger and more
aggressive than those he loves and will fight dearly to keep them safe.
2) Protect his loved ones. A
man protects his loved ones from any perceived threats. He is street smart, he
sees trouble coming and keeps his family out of harms way.
3) Provide for his loved ones.
A man figures out a way to generate income either working for others or making
his own way in the world. He supplies the basic needs for his family—food,
shelter, clothing and transportation.
4) Encourage his loved ones.
A man must be the lighthouse in stormy times of crisis and challenge. His job is
to be stable, sensible, resourceful and ready to encourage his family through
tough times. He must put on a brave face and have a big heart when compassion
and understanding are needed.
He understands that the way to overcome fear is to take action despite the
danger or risk in doing so.
5) Lead his loved ones. A man
must be the leader for his loved ones in several critical areas:
Generating Income. He should be the main source of providing for the basic needs
of the family.
Handling Discipline. He should realize and act when his loved ones need to toe
the mark.
Improving His Knowledge and Skills. He should use education and training to
get on in the world.
Developing Spiritual Growth. He needs to recognize a greater power than himself
so that when he is no longer there to provide and to comfort his family they are
not alone in the world.
Developing Personal Growth.
He needs not only the professional
growth that education and training can help provide, but he also needs personal
growth. He needs to be able to change his thought process, belief system and
core being so that he is not the same bigoted person that he was 40 years ago.
Providing Recreational Opportunities. He should provide fun, family
activities for his loved ones so the challenge of simply performing our daily
responsibilities does not become onerous.
Being a Role Model. He should become a role model for behavior, values, ethics
and morals that is worth emulating.
If a man had only his left hand and only lived with his left hand he would
indeed be an incredible creature when fulfilling the 5 jobs his analytical mind
tells him he must do. Tomorrow you will learn why a man has a right hand, with
the 5 fingers signifying his 5 basic tendencies.
(Ed's Note: This is Part 1 of a
3-Part Series.)
February 18, 2007
Here Is My Analysis:
What Women Should Know: A
Man's 5 Basic Tendencies - Part 2
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
(Editor's
Note: Part 1 dealt with A Man's 5
Basic Jobs: 1) Defend his loved ones. 2) Protect his loved ones. 3) Provide for
his loved ones. 4) Encourage his loved ones. 5) Lead his loved ones. Part 3 will
appear tomorrow.)
A Man's 5 Basic Tendencies
But, alas, women it is not to be. Here is where your dream world begins to fall
apart.
Just as a man has 5 fingers on his right hand there are 5 creative tendencies a
man must overcome to live out his life.
1) He believes he is indestructible. I know this is not rational, is silly and difficult to believe, however, it
is tied to his ego and allows him to also do the five jobs his analytical mind
tells him he must do.
It is because a man can be an extremely competitive creature that he can put his
life on the line for his family when defending them and protecting them.
A man, especially when he is younger, can be exciting, dangerous and foolish. He
will buy his dream sports car and drive it down the freeway as fast as he can to
see how fast he can go, and sometimes with his loved ones in the car.
He will dive off of a 50-foot cliff to see if he can meet the water in the
10-foot space between the rocks below. Sometimes he will accomplish that feat,
sometimes he will become paralyzed and sometimes he will kill himself in a fit
of bravado.
Generally, somewhere around age 40 or 50 he will work in the yard all day
Saturday and be totally stunned when he cannot get out of bed Sunday morning.
This is the point in his life when he realizes he is not the man he used to be.
If he uses the brains God gave him he will not continue take risky chances. If
he has learned anything from the experience, he will begin to live a more sane
life.
2) He believes his reach should exceed
his grasp. A man will try to do more than he is physically, mentally
and emotionally capable of doing. He will set impossible goals and then prove he
cannot achieve them.
He will set no limits on himself. He has an ego. He will work himself to
death while ignoring his marriage, his children and the needs of his family, and
he will justify this behavior because he can barely get past his third job:
provide for his family.
He will justify his behavior in his mind because sometimes he is really escaping
a situation at home that he does not want to face. Rather than face the music he
is willing to play the music alone and suffer the consequences, generally
divorce.
Couples can fight about money and how to raise their children, but when they end
up in divorce court it is usually because of a lack of communication. How many
times have you heard a woman say he just won't talk to me?
When your man is not talking to you ladies, that is the first sign that your
marriage is in trouble.
3) He believes he will live forever. No kidding. He actually believes he will live forever. It never really
occurs to him that he will die someday. He has been told this more than once; he
comprehends what is being said, but he really does not believe it.
Women do not share this problem. I expect because they become very aware of just
how fragile life is when birthing a newborn.
It generally does not even occur to a man that he will die until he is well past
50. When this realization strikes him, it is like a bolt of lighting. Sometimes
it occurs when his father dies, and then he realizes that he is next.
There are things that you will notice when his belief in this matter changes.
He will not leave home when the guys come by to go drinking and watch the game.
He will become more aware about who he is with, where he is at and what he is
doing. He now realizes that the meter on the taxi is running. He now understands
that the alarm has been set on his clock, and it is ticking down.
4) Someone once said that every man
needs someplace to go, something to do and someone to love. I believe
that they are correct. Think about it.
A man needs someplace to go, this is the explorer in him. A man needs something
to do, this is the automatic work ethic in him. He must be at work, or he could
be a nuisance at home. A man needs someone to love because he needs acceptance.
You will notice that a woman who loses her husband at age 50 because he has
worked himself to death can live another 30 years without a man in her life and
be quite content. A man who loses his wife at age 50 will find another woman
very soon or he will die, literally.
When a man loses his partner, he will make it his business to find another, and
he will not make a career out of it because he already has a career. A man loses
his woman and six months or a year later he marries again, usually to someone
younger.
Many men do not wait to lose their wife. When they perceive they have lost
something in a relationship, they simply dump their wife and find a younger
model. I do not have to give women names; they can name on cue the men who have
done so, both the famous and the infamous.
5) This is the most salient advice that
I can give a woman about men: Listen carefully to what a man says but
watch what he does, what he does is who he is. A man will always whisper sweet
nothings in a woman's ear but once he is out of bed he barely notices his
conquest.
In today's world young girls and young women have bought into the media hype
that they need to walk around half naked and sleep with any guy if they want to
date or have any shot at a relationship. They are being hoodwinked.
Our culture and society has become so liberal, so permissive, so pleasure
seeking and so self-centered and self-absorbed that the mantra is all about me.
Young girls have Paris Hilton, Britany Spears and Lindsay Lohan as role models.
What young girls and young women need to know is that after young boys and young
men have had their way with them they will discard them like they would a hot
dog wrapper at a baseball game.
When these same young boys become young men and think about marriage they will
not be interested in used goods. Any girl or young woman who has been passed
around and has slept with multiple partners will get less attention.
A man who is worth marrying and having
children with has learned impulse control and has the ability to feel an urge
and delay acting on it. A man who cannot or will not control himself is no
better than the girls and young women he is indiscriminately sleeping with.
Someone arbitrarily decided that casual sex does no damage whatsoever to
one's psyche or emotional well being. They are, of course, dead wrong but too
immature to realize it and calculate the damage.
Oftentimes when they grow up they are unable to have a lasting relationship and
they wonder why. This is true for both men and women. I do not have to postulate
about this, the divorce rate, heartache and failed relationships prove it beyond
a shadow of a doubt.
If the fundamental basis of a marriage is great sex, you have a serious problem
that is not going to go away. Marriage should be for a long time and great sex
at some point may not survive the duties and responsibilities of living.
February 19, 2007
Here Is My Analysis:
What Women Should Know: 4
Realities in a Man's World - Part 3
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
(Editor's
Note: Part 2 dealt with A Man's 5
Basic Tendencies: 1) He believes he is indestructible. 2) He believes his reach
should exceed his grasp. 3) He believes he will live forever. 4) He needs
someplace to go, something to do and someone to love. 5) Listen carefully to
what a man says but watch what he does; what he does is who he is.)
4 Realities in a Man's World
So men have 5 basic jobs and 5 basic tendencies. Now we must deal with four
basic realties about men and world they live in.
1) How Men Are Judged. Our
culture and society judge men by one yardstick more than any other: how much
money do they make. A man who makes a lot of money is considered successful,
even though he may be a lousy husband and father. He has little incentive to be
something better.
This happens in part because men in the United States were traditionally
perceived as the breadwinners of the family. That notion has long passed as more
women need to work alongside their partner to support their family rather than
remain home to raise their children.
Day care is everywhere. Too many kids come home and there is no parent in the
house. Teens can get into trouble faster than they can turn around. They are
also not as safe in today's world; they are easy targets for predators.
I am told that only 25% of families are traditional in the sense that there is a
father and mother who are married with children in the house.
We have as many people who are
apparently single, many of whom have live-in boyfriends and other assorted
arrangements too numerous to mention. Too many of these "roommates" are bums and
leeches who do not even have a job, they sit around all day and try to look
smart when they are not causing harm to the children.
It is sad that so many women need what little, misguided attention they get
so badly that they will support these jerks and put their children in harms way
at the same time.
All of this does exactly nothing to relieve the pressure on the men who do work
to produce more money. It also distorts a man's view of what is important and
what is not important. Most men do not live a balanced life; their job or career
dominates their life, many times to the exclusion of their marriage and
children.
2) A man's work is his life.
This is an extension of the first reality of how a man is judged, but it is also
a fact of life.
Men tend to be fixated on their work and view their work as their greatest
mission in life; they have been told that their greatest mission is really to
love their wife and children and be a good husband and father, but they usually
find this injunction easy to ignore. It is much easier for them to treat their
wife and children as a necessary duty or afterthought.
If you are foolish enough to think that this is more false than true ask
yourself why most married couples spent only 3 to 5 minutes a day actually
talking to each other. Hint: It is not because they do not have the time to do
so.
3) Men and women are not alike in some
obvious ways, but they are also not alike in their basic needs.
Generally, women want security. They want to be provided for financially.
This is why they will marry a guy old enough to be their father, or a guy who is
not as attractive to them. Women always worry about having enough money, and the
older they get without enough money the more they worry about it.
Generally, men want respect and recognition, whether they are financially
successful or not. If the woman treats a man like a king and thinks that he made
the moon and set the sun in place, the man is not likely to stray very far from
home.
If not, he may well become an absent husband and father. This is true whether he
is home or not.
4) Women need to understand that a
misguided son (not a daughter, but a son) is the responsibility of the father,
not the mother.
This is because women cannot always control a willful son whose male ego
will not allow him to listen to a woman. It is his father who must set an
example for him, and keep him in line.
Too few men know and understand that they cannot be too critical of their son or
they will hurt his self-esteem and self-confidence, two qualities every
successful, productive man must have to function competitively in society. A man
should shower his son with encouragement and positive reinforcement.
Nothing is more distressing to a successful man and former successful athlete
than to see a father who coaches his son's little league baseball team screaming
at these youngsters for striking out in a critical situation or making a bad
play.
Fathers who coach little league and
cuss, scream, yell and berate youngsters are some of the biggest losers. Almost
without exception they have been athletes who never did squat and are trying to
overcome their shortcomings through their sons.
Do not be deceived by his cussing. Cussing is no more or no less than a sign
of a low self-image. If you think listening to a man cussing on a recording is
cute and so impressive because he is making a real statement about himself, you
are wrong. It is not cute or appropriate at any time, and especially around
children. Period. There are no exceptions.
Marry this man and you may live in hell. If he is overly critical of his son he
will probably be overly critical of his daughter, his wife, his employer and his
next door neighbor. This is a man who needs some professional help; you will not
be able to overcome his ignorance.
A man of any age who will get a girl or a woman pregnant and then become absent
forever is a lower life form, yet this is what happens all too often.
The reality is that not all men are cut
out to be men, it is much easier for some of them to be totally self-centered
and self-absorbed. Men who worry about their own happiness more than others lead
a very unfulfilled life and pride themselves on their stupidity.
They become easy marks for evildoers and miscreants. Some of them end up in
jail, others get killed in a deal gone wrong, but all of them lead miserable
lives because they mortgaged their destiny by being irresponsible. They pay a
heavy price and are no wiser in the end.
So women, now you know 14 things about men. Use this knowledge to better
understand what drives men and why some men can be more interesting than others.
When you start making choices about what you should do with boys and men in the
friendship cycle, the dating cycle, the relationship cycle and the marriage
cycle, always remember this: listen to what a man has to say very carefully, but
watch what he does. What he does is who he is. And that is what you get--who he
is, not who he says he is. Do not be fooled, be smart in your choices.
October 29, 2006
Lessons in Life:
Man's Biggest Love
Affair May Be With His Car
Copyright © 2006 Ed Bagley
The love affair with men and their cars
is legend. A man and his automobile are not easily separated. More than one
exasperated wife has said that her husband is more married to his car than her,
especially when she is going to bed alone while her husband tinkers with his car
in the garage until the wee hours of the morning.
More than one divorce has been blamed on
a man spending more time with his car than his wife. Some men even talk to their
cars more than they do to their wives. No wonder some slighted women appreciate
cars but view the hunk of metal and parts as a real threat to their
relationship. And, while another woman may turn a man’s head, most men do drive
their car home. A few cynical men might suggest that they talk more to their
cars because the car does not keep talking back.
It is probably a good idea to stay in
communication with your vehicle, or at least practice good listening skills, as
many potential problems with your vehicle will announce themselves before
surfacing into an operational breakdown.
It is probably an even better idea to
stay in communication with your wife, as relationships thrive on communication
and wither without it. Men who think that the opposite of love is hate would be
particularly vulnerable to a lack of communication.
The opposite of love is not hate. Both
love and hate are very strong emotions psychologically. More than one Hollywood
starlet who became a star in the golden era of movies was dubbed tempestuous
because of a stormy relationship or marriage. Their strong, conflicting emotions
would sustain a love-hate relationship, apparently because making up was really
that good.
A guy that may know how to make an
engine purr may not know that the opposite of love is not hate, but
indifference. You have only to mention the “silent treatment” for them to
connect the wires, and understand the real meaning of indifference. When a woman
has had it, even a casual effort at communication draws a steely response, which
could mean sleeping on the couch that night rather than in bed.
When children become a mix in the
marriage, the parents most often fight about money, and how to raise the
children, however, it is a lack of communication that will eventually lead the
parents to the divorce court.
Marriage is a full time job, and if you
are not constantly working at it, you will not have a marriage. Communication is
the glue that holds a good marriage together. Mistakes and regrets can be
overcome with a good, positive attitude, some understanding, and counseling, but
a lack of communication will kill the best of intentions.
The bottom line is that, while your car
is important and tugs at your heartstrings, the relationships in your life are
even more important. You may become even more aware of this when you are driving
alone and wondering where your wife and children are.
Listen to your car. Listen to your wife.
Listen to anyone important in your life. Just make sure you communicate more
with people than your car. You will then be assured that there will be someone
to ride with in your vehicle. Growing old alone is no fun, even if you do have a
love affair with your car.
A final
sobering thought: Could the new "car" for today's Internet Marketer be the
monitor he is looking at?
July 14, 2007
Putting Language into
Perspective
NAACP Decides to Symbolically Bury the "N"
Word in a Major Move Forward
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
The NAACP put to rest a long-standing expression of racism Monday (7-9-07) by
symbolically burying the "n" word in a ceremony.
The timing for the burial ceremony could not have been better as the NAACP was
having its annual convention at Detroit's Cobo Center. Delegates marched about a
quarter mile to Hart Plaza as two horses pulled a pine box adorned with a
bouquet of black roses.
The n-word has been used as a slur against blacks for more than a century, as an
Associated Press article noted.
What was different about this move by
the NAACP was the recognition that the very word that was being buried is also
used by blacks when referring to other blacks, especially in comedy routines,
rap and hip-hop music.
I believe the stance by the NAACP could potentially do more for race
relations than any single move by special interest and civil rights groups in
recent years.
"While we are happy to have sent a certain radio cowboy back to his ranch," said
NAACP National Board Chairman Julian Bond (referring to a racially charged
comment by talk show host Don Imus which cost him his job earlier this year) "we
ought to hold ourselves to the same standard."
Black leaders Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton both have also apparently challenged
the entertainment industry and the American public to stop using the n-word and
other racial slurs.
As a white American I applaud this move
by the NAACP and such media savvy black leaders as Jackson and Sharpton.
Among the honorary pallbearers for the funeral was hip-hop legend Kurtis
Blow, who apparently has been a rapper and in hip-hop music for about 35 years.
Blow has said that he has never used the n-word in recording more than 150
songs.
I personally do not listen to either rap or hip-hop music and consequently have
never heard of Kurtis Blow, but I most certainly admire and appreciate his not
using the n-word to help sell and promote his music.
I believe using the n-word is no different than cussing. Do not be deceived by
cussing. Cussing is no more or no less than a sign of a low self-image.
If you think listening to a man cussing
on a recording is cute and so impressive because he is making a real statement
about himself, you are wrong. It is not cute or appropriate at any time, and
especially around children. Period. There are no exceptions.
Neither blacks nor whites (or people of any other color) should be using the
n-word to refer to blacks or whites or anyone else. It is inappropriate and
counterproductive to human relations and respect for everyone.
There are millions of educated, literate blacks who have not used the n-word
under any circumstance on their way to prosperity and success in America.
These same blacks struggle as many of us
do in their climb to success and yet are able to take advantage of
opportunities, take responsibility for their actions and become positive role
models for people of all races and ethnic groups.
These same black people do not need to use the n-word to define who they are
or make a public statement about themselves or others, and every one of them
deserves my respect and admiration.
Faith:
June 27. 2010
Wow, What a Turnaround
Florida Judge Denies an Atheist's Petition to Create a Holy Day for Those
Who Deny the Existence of God in Their Life
In Florida, an atheist created a case against the annual Easter and Passover
Holy Days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against
Christians and Jews, and observances of their holy days. The argument was that
it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate
presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case
dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood up,
objecting to the ruling, saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this
case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover,
Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such
holidays."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel,
is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or
holiday for atheists. "
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1
states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion
of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool.
Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."
(Ed's Note: In God we trust, all
others need not apply. Atheists do not recognize God, and are not going
anywhere, so they do not need a holiday. Let them save themselves.)
May 20, 2010
Here's A News Flash for Comedy
Central:
Mocking Jesus Christ May Be Funnier Than Hell, But Might Be Eternal As
Well
Copyright © 2010 Ed Bagley
Comedy Central has decided to lower the bar even further by stepping
up efforts to mock and defame Christians, according to Brent Bozell, founder of
the Media Research Center.
Bozell said that Comedy Central has recently announced that they are
developing a cartoon series about Jesus Christ called "JC." According to
Comedy Central, Jesus will move to New York City to "escape his father's
enormous shadow" and to live a normal life.
The network says that God will be
portrayed in the show as an "apathetic" father, obsessed with playing video
games.
Just two weeks ago, Comedy Central censored South Park's
depiction of the prophet Muhammad after intense Muslim protest, yet they have a
long history of ridiculing Jesus Christ and Christians in the very same show.
This directly mirrors the way the liberal media have treated Islam and
Christianity for years, asserts Bozell. While going out of their way to respect
Islam, they relentlessly attack and defame Christianity and the 80% of Americans
who call themselves Christians.
My question to the creators and
producers of Comedy Central would be this: Is mocking Jesus Christ a good
idea?
Perhaps it matters not a whit if you are an atheist, a non-believer, or like
risking your chances if Jesus Christ does exist.
My life experience tells me that mocking God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit
is a very bad idea. I could hardly wish Comedy Central well for doing so.
Issuing asbestos suits for those who participate in this mockery might be an
idea of some back-up foresight and insurance, but I doubt it is going to help
much in the long run.
If discretion is the better part of
valor, then avoiding mockery in this case may be life-saving.
I believe it was William Shakespeare in 1596 who had Falstaff in Henry IV,
Part One, saying: "The better part of valour is discretion; in the which
better part I have saved my life." (Well spoken, Willie, I could not have said
it better myself.)
May 6, 2010
There Are Times to Challenge Progressive Liberal Politicians and
Governments That Want to Take God Out of Our Lives, and This Is One of Them
(Ed's Note: The United States
Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom, cannot seem to reconcile the fact that
separation of church and state does not preclude having God in our lives.
Attempting to suppress someone's religion can prove to be a daunting exercise,
as this graduation ceremony demonstrates.)
They walked in tandem, each of the 92 students filing into the already
crowded auditorium. With their rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional
caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt.
Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears.
This class would NOT pray during the
commencements, not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting
it.
The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines
allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no
one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or
their families.
The speeches were nice, but they were routine until the final speech received a
standing ovation.
A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent
for just a moment, and then, it happened.
All 92 students, every single one of
them, suddenly sneezed!
The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said, "God Bless You" and
then walked off the stage.
The audience exploded into applause. This graduating class had found a unique
way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's
approval.
(Ed's Note: Despite their innate
intelligence, lengthy education and expansive knowledge of the law, some U. S.
Supreme Court Justices are what I call "marble-heads"—they are all round and
shiny but do not have the good sense God gave a healthy piss ant.)
April 14, 2010
Making a Wrong Right
It's Not About the Media: Blaming the Messenger in the Catholic Priest Sex
Abuse Crisis
(Ed's Note: The Catholic Church has
taken a beating since the media exposure of its long-standing policies when
handling pedophile priests. There is no excuse for the priests involved; they
should have been prosecuted like anyone else in our society, but were instead
protected by the church in the mistaken notion that the self-serving church
might be embarrassed or lose faithful members. Now a can of worms has been
opened after years of silence, and the leadership of the Catholic Church, which
chose to do the wrong thing, must make it right, and once again walk the
straight and narrow, just as its parishoners are asked to do. And please, do not
think the Catholic pedophile priests are the only ones involved. Clergy from
many other religious orders are involved as well as some Boy Scout leaders,
counselors from summer day camps, and far too many schoolteachers among others.)
By Rev. James Martin, S.J. (Society of Jesus—the Jesuits)
More so than in 2002, when the clerical sex abuse crisis exploded into American
newspapers, some Church leaders and prominent Catholics have accused the media
of unjustly targeting the Church, specifically the Pope.The reporting on the
story is, they say, inaccurate, unfair and motivated by anti-Catholicism.
Let me speak to that question as a Catholic priest, as someone who works at a
weekly magazine and who also occasionally writes for the secular media.
There has always been a lingering
degree of anti-Catholicism in some quarters of the media, for a variety of
reasons, some with roots deep in American history, which I've written about at
length in America
magazine.
The media also gets things dead wrong at times, even in factual reporting --
especially when reporters new to the religion beat don't have a clue about the
way that the Catholic Church functions.
There are also op-ed writers and columnists who seem never to have a good word
to say about the Catholic Church, even in the best of times.
Snotty comments from pundits who know zero about celibacy are useless;
misinformed asides from journalists who know little about the Vatican are
unhelpful; and mean-spirited stereotypes from otherwise thoughtful writers about
all priests, all sisters, all bishops, all popes and all Catholics are as
harmful, and as defamatory, as any other stereotypes. To that end, I agree with
a few of the critiques about the media.
But to blame the messenger for this
current wave of stories about sexual abuse is to miss the point. For instance, a
friend told me that at the Chrism Mass, a diocesan-wide liturgy a few days
before Easter, her local bishop told the congregation to cancel their
subscriptions to The New York Times,
which he called "the enemy."
Besides the fact that a Mass is not the time to critique your local
newspaper, this overlooks a critical dynamic about the service the media has
provided for a Church that needed to address a grave problem but wasn't doing
enough.
To wit: without the coverage by The Boston Globe in 2002 of the
sexual abuse by priests, the Catholic Church in United States would not have
confronted the issue on a nationwide basis and instituted mandatory guidelines.
Why do I say this? Because years before, in 1985, a smaller but highly
influential, left-leaning Catholic newspaper, The National Catholic
Reporter, reported and editorialized on abuse cases involving a
notorious Louisiana priest.
What was the response? In 1992, after
many closed-door meetings with experts in the intervening years, the U.S.
Conference of Catholic Bishops adopted a series of guidelines on dealing with
abuse. These, however, were not binding on the bishops, but voluntary.
(Ed Bagley's comment about the above decision: This was stupid followed by
more stupid, like church leadership leading the deaf and the blind to again
cover its hindside.)
But this was nothing along the lines of what happened as a result of the
dogged reporting from the Globe that began in earnest in early
2002. That is, there was nothing like the extraordinary meeting of American
bishops, convened in Dallas in 2002 that produced the "Charter for the
Protection of Children and Young People," which set forth the nationwide "zero
tolerance" policy for abusers.
Prior to that, there was no
mandatory institution of "safe practices" for every single Church institution
(parishes, schools, social-service centers, etc.), no mandatory training
programs for all priests, deacons, and Church employees across the country. And
there was no creation of the Office for the Protection of Children and Young
People at the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. None of that happened after
the 1985 case. But it did after 2002.
What helped to move the Church from "voluntary" to "mandatory" was
the full-bore coverage by the mainstream media -- harsh most of the time, wrong
sometimes. The Church, at least until that point, seemed unable to confront
fully the widespread nature of the abuse, the systemic structures that caused
it, and the seriousness of the damage done to children and their families by
these crimes.
The Catholic Church in this country has come far from where it was in 2002. Its
extensive training programs and draconian guidelines can be taken as models for
all institutions that deal with children and young people. That doesn't mean
that local churches elsewhere won't still need to address abuse (as we're seeing
in Ireland and Germany), nor that the U.S. Church has "finished" addressing
these crimes.
As long as the possibility for
abuse exists, or one victim is still suffering from past abuses, we will not be
"finished" with this problem.
Nor is it surprising that the media are focused on the news from Ireland and
Germany, or even on the Vatican's response. It is not simply the question of
sexual abuse, which occurs in every institution that deals with children (and
occurs most often in families).
Rather, as Paul Moses, a Catholic journalist who has worked in the secular
press, pointed out on Commonweal's blog, it is the media's
questioning of whether past cover-ups have occurred. Covering cover-ups is what
the media does, no matter the institution. "When a scandal of this proportion is
uncovered," Moses writes, "journalists will naturally want to see how far it
goes -- the basis for the latest round of stories."
Every single bishop I know wants to
end sexual abuse. They have met with victims whose lives have been destroyed,
and they are justly horrified. But for every bishop of my acquaintance, there
are as many religion reporters of my acquaintance called "anti-Catholic" by
those very same clerics.
Reporters work diligently to get the story right, particularly on such an
explosive topic, sometimes after being unable to get Church officials even to
return their phone calls. Sometimes I wish that I could bring both parties
together to discuss how the media deals with the Church and the Church with the
media.
There's another reason not to blame the media: it probably doesn't work in the
long run. Blaming the media in these situations, for better or worse, comes off
as an excuse. It makes people wonder why so much time is devoted to finding
holes in a story when so little was expended in decades past to prevent abuse.
You never know what digging that the media might be doing that will make your
objections seem irrelevant; and, as the saying goes, "Don't pick fights with
people who buy ink by the barrel."
For every objection you raise the
media will have a team of reporters to respond. Object and correct, but don't
blame. More fundamentally, targeting the media ignores the way the media helped
the Catholic Church in this country.
In 1992, Cardinal Bernard Law, archbishop of Boston, said "By all means we call
down the power of God on the media, particularly the Globe." It
was a public excoriation for the paper's relentless criticisms of the Church's
handling of abuse cases.
In a sense, the power of God did come down on The Boston Globe.
The Globe became an unwitting instrument through which the Church
was forced to face -- for the first time on a nationwide, mandatory, system-wide
basis -- the crimes of its priests and the sins of the bishops who had shuttled
them from parish to parish in decades past.
So I thank God for the secular
media, which, in its own biased and sometimes inaccurate way, forced the Church
in this country to change for the better.
(Ed's Note: Sadly, the action of a
few pedophile priests disrespects God's direction for our lives and the
selfless, faithful work of thousands of other priests who for nearly 2,000 years
have helped God's people at their point of need in their time of need. Let not
the misdoing of a few overshadow the wonderful work of God's faithful, and not
only the members of the religious orders--both priests and nuns--but the support
of parishioners as well.)
January 26, 2010 2nd Article
Here Is Why You Should Go to Church, and Continue Going to Church
Copyright © 2010 Ed Bagley
(Ed's Note: I have often said that going to church may not help you, but
it likely will not hurt you. That may spur someone to test the water's of
organized religion. Here is another, and better, reason to consider some
spiritual development.)
A churchgoer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that
it made no sense to go to church every Sunday.
"I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard
something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single
one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs
by giving sermons at all."
This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to
the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this
clincher:
"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000
meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one
of those meals. But I do know this: They all nourished me and gave me the
strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I
would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for
nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"
When you are down, God is up to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes
the incredible, and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical and our
spiritual nourishment!
January 4, 2010
May You Have
Hope in Your Life
Prayer of Gratitude to Jesus Christ, My
Savior and Promise Keeper
Copyright © 2010 Ed Bagley
It is altogether fitting that my first original writing of the
new year should be a prayer to Jesus Christ, my Savior and promise keeper.
I am a converted Roman Catholic, and believe that Jesus
Christ, the Son of the living God, is both my Savior and redeemer. I am a
Christian. You may be a follower of Judaism, Islam, Taoism, Hinduism, Buddhism
or Confucianism among others. It does not matter to me.
I am just happy that you recognize a power greater than
yourself. Whatever your choice of religious belief, become a better member of
your faith.
Despite the current problems of the Roman Catholic Church—in
particular its egregious, unconscionable handling of those relatively few
pedophile priests who have abandoned Christ's teachings—the life and message of
Jesus Christ remains unchanged, and His church on Earth endures after more than
2,000 years.
The Catholic religion, like all religions, has had its good
and bad keepers of the faith. There have been popes who have been no better than
common criminals, and other popes who have been great examples of keepers of the
faith, including Pope John XXIII (Angelo Roncalli), and Pope John Paul II (Karol
Wojtyla), two of the most popular popes in the history of the Papacy.
Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Ratzinger), the current reigning
Pope, is the 265th pope of the Roman Catholic Church.
I wrote the following prayer in honor of Jesus Christ, and
wish to share it with you at this time.
Prayer of Gratitude to Jesus Christ,
My Savior and Promise Keeper
All praise and glory to you, Heavenly Father, and to your son
Jesus, the living Son of you, my Father in Heaven, a living God who sees all,
hears all, and knows all.
Thank you, Father, for sending Jesus to me so I might see Him
and learn His loving ways. I understand that my faith does not literally require
me to see Jesus in the flesh to receive and benefit from His message of
unconditional love, understanding, acceptance and redemption. Only you, Father
God, would have the patience to send your Son among us when faith would have
sufficed. Let those who have not seen yet believe share in your promise of
redemption.
I thank you Father for reaching out to me with your words of
compassion and comfort. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart to your message
of service to others. Let not my heart be troubled by the cares of the world, so
that I can be of service to you with no misgivings.
Guide me and direct me in all that I do and say so that your
glory may be manifest in my service to others. Help me to appreciate that my
life has little purpose without service to others, and grant to me an
understanding heart and wise judgment so that I can better recognize those who
are troubled and in need.
Let kindness and genuine concern be my greeting to all of your
children. Let a gentle smile be my first words spoken. Without you Lord I am but
an empty vessel waiting to be filled. With you, let me bring living water to
those thirsty for your Word. Speak through me Lord so that your message remains
clear, concise, and convincing.
Let my life be one of gratitude for the opportunity to serve
with a willing and cheerful heart. I understand that while service to others
will enrich my life, it is only through your grace that I will be saved, and
be with you in Heaven.
I ask all of this, Father God, in the name of your son Jesus,
my Savior and promise keeper.
November 13, 2009 -
2nd Article
You Have a Friend Who Says "I Love You and
Believe in You"
(Ed's Note: All of
us can be discouraged or disheartened when life gets us down. Here is someone
who can always pick you up. Whatever your religious beliefs are, there is some
common sense here. All of what is said by God here is uplifting and positive,
therefore, would you rather have no one and nothing to turn to in times of
strife, or someone of substance to turn to in times of strife? God gives you a
free will to make your choice. That is because He is a compassionate God who
loves you and does not want to boss you around. God made you in his image, and
he believes in your goodness.)
You say "It's impossible."
God says "All things are possible."
(Luke 18:27)
You say "I'm too tired."
God says "I will give you rest."
(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say "Nobody
really loves me."
God says "I love you."
(John 3:1 6 and John 3:34)
You say "I can't go on."
God says "My grace is sufficient."
(II Corinthians 12:9 and Psalm 91:15)
You say "I can't figure things out."
God says "I will direct your steps."
(Proverbs 3:5- 6)
You say "I can't do it."
God says "You can
do all things."
( Philippians 4:13)
You say "I'm not able."
God says "I am able."
(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say "It's not worth it."
God says "It will be worth it."
(Romans 8:28 )
You say "I can't forgive myself."
God says "I forgive
you."
(I John 1:9 and Romans 8:1)
You say "I can't manage."
God says "I will supply all your needs."
(Philippians 4:19)
You say "I'm afraid."
God says "I have not given you a spirit of fear."
(II Timothy 1:7)
You say "I'm always worried and
frustrated."
God says "Cast all your cares on me."
(I Peter 5:7)
You say "I'm not smart enough."
God says "I give you wisdom."
(I Corinthians 1:30)
You say "I feel all alone."
God says "I will never leave you or forsake you."
(Hebrews 13:5)
November 7, 2009 -
2nd Article
Guest Article:
Making the Holy Bible's 23rd Psalm Even
More Easy for Readers to Appreciate
(Ed's Note:
Christians around the world who are serious and knowledgeable about their faith
have probably heard about and read the 23rd Psalm from the Holy Bible. Here is
one person's attempt at making the 23rd Psalm even easier to appreciate.)
The 23rd Psalm
The Lord is my shepherd = That's Relationship
I shall not want = That's Supply
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures = That's Rest
He leadeth me beside the still waters = That's Refreshment
He restoreth my soul = That's Healing
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness = That's Guidance
For his name's sake = That's Purpose
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death = That's Testing
I will fear no evil = That's
Protection
For thou art with me = That's Faithfulness
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me = That's Discipline
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies = That's Hope
Thou annointest my head with oil = That's Consecration
My cup runneth over = That's
Abundance
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life = That's
Blessing
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord = That's Security
Forever = That's Eternity
July 16, 2009
Billy Graham's Prayer for America, the Most
Bountiful Country on Earth
(Ed's Note: There is a reason why Billy Graham stands alone
among the great television evangelists of our era. That reason is because Billy
Graham is the only nationally-recognized televangelist who not only talked the
talk, but walked the walk. This simple and powerful prayer for America will only
touch those who listen with their heart when they hear.)
Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your
forgiveness, and to seek your direction and guidance.
We know Your Word says, "Woe to those who call evil good," but
that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our
values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of
expression.
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it
enlightenment.
Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from
every sin and set us free.
Amen.
July 1, 2009
How Many of You Can Say That You Are Secure
in Your Final Destiny?
(Ed's Note: I was raised by my grandparents the first 5
years of my life, and everything good I ever learned was learned from my
grandparents. When I wrote my first book, I dedicated it to my grandfather,
Edward Louis Baker, whom I was named after. This is what I had to say about my
grandfather: (He was) a self-taught man of integrity, decency and honesty who
lived his life as a happy man, secure in his final destiny. If I were half as
good as my grandfather, I would be twice the man that I am. The following story
reminds me of my grandfather. It is with love that I share it with you here.)
Billy Graham is now 90 years old with Parkinson's disease. In
January 2000, leaders in Charlotte, North Carolina, invited their favorite son,
Billy Graham, to a luncheon in his honor.
Billy initially hesitated to accept the invitation because he struggles with
Parkinson's disease. But the Charlotte leaders said, "We do not expect a major
address. Just come and let us honor you." So he agreed.
After wonderful things were said about him, Dr. Graham stepped to the rostrum,
looked at the crowd, and said, "I am reminded today of Albert Einstein, the
great physicist who this month has been honored by Time magazine as the Man of
the Century.
Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came
down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to
Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He could not find his ticket, so
he reached in his trouser pockets. It was not there, so he looked in his
briefcase but could not find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still
could not find it.
The conductor said, "Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are.
I am sure you bought a ticket. Do not worry about it." Einstein nodded
appreciatively.
The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he
was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist
down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.
The conductor rushed back and said, "Dr. Einstein, Dr.
Einstein, do not worry, I know who you are. No problem. You do not need a
ticket. I am sure you bought one."
Einstein looked at him and said, "Young man, I too, know who I am. What I do
not know is where I am going.'"
Having said that Billy Graham continued, "See the suit I am wearing? It is a
brand new suit. My wife, my children, and my grandchildren are telling me I have
gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit more fastidious. So I
went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon and one more occasion.
"You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I
will be buried. But when you hear I am dead, I do not want you to immediately
remember the suit I am wearing. I want you to remember this: I not only know who
I am, I also know where I am going."
March 22, 2009
Imam Put On the
Spot
A Mandatory Diversification Training Seminar
Reveals the Muslim Beliefs
(Ed's Note: Apparently
this article is a true story and the author—Rick Mathes—is a well-known leader
in prison ministry. I post it here because millions of American's have
difficulty understanding the connection between the Muslim religion and the
killing of those who do not share the beliefs of practicing Muslims.)
The man who walks with God always gets to his
destination. If you have a pulse you have a purpose.
The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the United
States, especially in the minority races!
Last month I attended my annual training
session that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance.
During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers
representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained
each of their beliefs.
I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say.
The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a
video. After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.
When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked:
"Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I
understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy
war] against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which
is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's
the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?"
There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he
replied, "Non-believers!"
I responded, "So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah
have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a
place in heaven. Is that correct?"
The expression on his face changed from one of authority and
command to that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the
cookie jar.
He sheepishly replied, "Yes."
I then stated, "Well, sir, I have a real
problem trying to imagine Pope John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those
of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to
guarantee them a place in heaven!"
The Imam was speechless.
I continued, "I also have problem with being your friend when
you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me."
Let me ask you a question:
"Would you rather have your Allah, who
tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me
to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?"
You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.
Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the Diversification Training
Seminar were not happy with Rick's way of dealing with the Islamic Imam, and
exposing the truth about the Muslims beliefs.
For more interesting reading, go to my Lessons in Life section and click the
link on Faith.
July 26, 2008
A Prayer for Fathers
(Editor's Note: I am a Christian man who wrote this
Christian prayer for Christian fathers everywhere.)
Copyright © 2008 Ed Bagley
The Lord is patient and gracious,
slow to anger, and full of mercy.
He has not dealt with us after our sins,
nor held us accountable for our transgressions.
For as high as the heavens are above the Earth,
so great is his mercy toward those sinners who fear him.
Those who do not fear the Lord are fools.
A fool in scripture is not one who is stupid,
but rather one who lives his or her life as if there is no God,
and no personal savior in Jesus Christ.
The Lord deals kindly with those who fear Him, and honor Him.
Let us then give to others what Jesus has given to us:
unconditional love, acceptance and honor in our day.
For the Lord knows our days are numbered.
Our days are like flowers in the field,
that grow and blossom in their beauty and grace,
then remain destined to die and fade away.
For the flowers in the field, there will be no tomorrow.
be mindful then, to keep the Lord's covenant,
fear Him, and honor Him all the days of your life.
The Lord ahs prepared His throne in heaven,
his kingdom has rule over all, forever and always,
and He has prepared a place for us in heaven.
We give thanks to you, our risen Lord, for your life-giving sacrifice,
your unconditional love, your acceptance, and your continual mercy.
In Jesus name, amen.
February 11, 2007
Emerson's Fertile
Mind:
The Sun and the Moon and the Stars, But
What If There Were No Visible Stars?
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
I recently came across this quote
from Ralph Waldo Emerson in my reading:
"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe
and adore."
No wonder Ralph was a philosopher as well as a great writer.
His statement stunned me. Probably
because there are atheists and scientists around whom believe that planet Earth
was some accidental cosmic happening a very long time ago.
They would not agree with folks like me who believe that a greater
compassionate and giving power caused me to be here, and that my life does have
purpose and meaning even if others do not agree.
Seriously, imagine for a moment that we have never seen stars and then suddenly
they appear like magic. Would we be fearful? Thankful? Or perhaps just terribly
confused about how this could suddenly happen given our technological advances
and egos to match.
I tend to think that God has nothing to prove, and that the atheists and
scientists have a lot to prove.
Some folks think I am in the same gene
pool as monkeys and many other species that have drawn breath on planet Earth. I
seriously doubt this and can find no true science to support the idea.
There are examples regarding this matter which demonstrate that science
disproves science more than it confirms it.
For example, despite decades of worshipping at the alter of Darwinism (the
theory of evolution), Lehigh University biochemist Michael Behe released his
book titled Darwin's Black Box in 1996 that used discoveries in microbiology to
refute Darwinism on Darwin's own terms.
Unfortunately, Darwin knew nothing in his day of DNA and the vastly complex
systems studied by molecular biologists, such as the information processing,
storage and retrieval in DNA.
Francis Crick, winner of the Nobel Prize
for his co-discovery of DNA, also realized that the spontaneous evolution of life
could not be reconciled with the facts. He said, "The probability of life
originating at random is so utterly minuscule as to make it absurd."
Despite the evidence to the contrary, I feel little need to argue whatever
point Darwinism tries to make. If I did evolve from a monkey I would hardly
claim the monkey as a family member. As I see it, a greater power created us
both, not in a fit of evolutionary brilliance, but separately at the same time.
While I am not certain about a lot of things (I have lived too long and
understand too little; I knew a whole lot more when I was much younger), I am
certain that the monkey did not create me and I certainly did not create the
monkey. Darwin created neither of us, and made a lot of false assumptions that
pale in the light of today's science.
But let us address the more interesting thought of Emerson's imagination.
If I had never seen a star in the sky
and suddenly the sky was filled with brightly shining stars, I would be joyful
and overwhelmed, thinking what a phenomenal gift has arrived. I get the same
feeling watching the waves crash against the shoreline at the ocean, and
watching the sunlight dance through the leaves of trees in the forest.
I wonder if a tree thinks it evolved from a monkey. I bet the tree would be
thankful to know it was part of a greater creation than the monkey.
A mind once stretched by a new idea moves beyond its old constraints, never
returning to its former, limited dimensions. It is called "imagination" and
Ralph Waldo had some. Probably a lot, compared to some heavy thinkers like
Darwin.
As a pre-teenager growing up in Michigan
I remember how settled and peaceful it felt on a hot summer night to lay down on
the lush grass and look up at the sky and watch the stars with my friends. We
would alternately talk and look up at the stars in silence. Sometimes 5 minutes
of silence.
It was as if a greater power could have been looking down, pleased that his
creation was so pleasing to such an important part of his creation. Yes, I felt
valued and safe. It was as if I knew that someday my star would shine brightly.
I find no peace in reading Darwin's theory. I find much peace in just gazing at
the heavens, which pose no questions to trouble my gentle soul. I find more
order in my "universe" than in Darwin's theories. Darwin can find solace in his
theories; I will look to the stars for mine.
October 19, 2007
The First Is Abortion:
Facts About the Second Most Controversial
Topic in America
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley
Many who read the title to this article might think that the second most
controversial topic in America today is whether the United States should
continue its war in Iraq. Those who thought that would be, in fact, dead wrong.
This article is really about facts, not about our involvement in trying to make
Iraq and its people adopt a democratic society, but to revisit the place God
occupies in our public institutions and in our society.
Oliver "Buzz" Thomas explored this topic recently in USA Today (10-15-07),
America's largest daily circulation newspaper. Thomas is a minister, lawyer and
author of 10 Things Your Minister Wants to Tell You (But Can't Because He Needs
the Job).
First off, we have the oldest written
constitution in the world, however, the United States Constitution was
not the first constitution written in this country, that distinction belongs to
the Fundamental Orders of Connecticut, written in 1639.
The U. S. Constitution was written in 1787, was ratified and went
into effect in March 1789, exactly 150 years after Connecticut's constitution.
Very few of our citizens could tell you when our Constitution came into
being, and even fewer could tell you much about God's place in our U. S.
Constitution.
Thomas says many Americans do not know what our Constitution says about
our first freedom: religious freedom.
Ask most Americans what the Constitution
says about God, and their answer may surprise you.
"One nation under God?" No, that is in our Pledge of Allegiance.
"Endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights?" No, that is in our
Declaration of Independence.
A recent survey by the First Amendment Center asserted that 55% of Americans
believe the our Constitution establishes us as a "Christian nation" and
while nearly all Americans say freedom of religion is important, only 56% of the
survey respondents think it should apply to all religious groups.
The plain truth is that the U. S.
Constitution says nothing about God. There is not a single reference to
"God" in our Constitution.
The only reference to religion in our Constitution appears in Article
VI which says "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to
any office or public trust under the United States."
Most colonies did have religious qualifications for public office at the time.
The Carolinas, for example, even went so far as to require that all elected
officials be Protestant. If you were a practicing Christian, bu